"Men aren't meant to be monogamous, it's not in their nature"...True statement or bull excuse? (Page 2)
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I have been monogamous with all my exes except when they make life decisions that point toward the end of our relationship. The two that I wasn't exclusive with are the one who took a job as a masseuse in Lawton, Oklahoma in 1993 and the one who gambled away $70K over 5 years and lied to me about where she was when I called. To be clear, during the last half of that time, I had been telling her that she was stealing from her children and that she needed to get help. So I call bull. I say that people are not meant to be monogamous but we can choose to if we and our partner have a mutual understanding or if we consider it to be the safe and respectful thing to do. On the other hand, I don't think we are meant to be promiscuous either or STDs would probably never have existed. Jealousy and violence would obviously be as bad with us as with wild animals. I think I rather prefer monogamy.
Would that man tolerate it from his partner? I doubt it.
I think your statement can be true for some low quality men who aren't mentally able to form a stable relationship or lack the ambition to build something lasting like a successful family. But in both of these cases I'd say there's something wrong with their heads or at the very least they're ill adjusted to the society. A strong family is the foundation of a strong society and a cheater doesn't build, only destroys.
I knew one guy who was a pathological cheater - he was sexually abused as a child.
The statement is untrue. I think men want a woman who is very committed to him, as he is committed to her. Men have feelings too, and I don't know where the myth about their having only one thing on their minds came out of. It simply isn't true, in my opinion.
I agree the statement is untrue... Yet it was a man that made that statement and other men that agree. And then there's men that agree that it's not.. And that's the difference between, men who would cheat and men who won't..
Yea I think damaged women use this narrative to offend men. There is no such narrative associated with men, and so men don't say those things when they hear of women cheating.
Which man made that statement? Obviously not all men are the same way, as are women, so he can’t speak for them all. In other words, that may be his excuse to remain unfaithful with whomever he is with.
This is 2022. We've come a long way. Everything is a result of history.
it’s a BS excuse. obviously.
it’s like me saying all of the following statements. the same logic applies:
- we aren’t meant to use electrical light and phones and laptops. it’s not “natural”.
- we’re not meant to use perfume because body odor is enough to attract a mate.
- women aren’t meant to shave because body hair is natural.
A man who says men are not meant to be monogamous is just saying he himself is unable to take responsibility and be a mature adult in any type of situation, and he does not see anyone but himself as important.
That’s what he’s basically saying.
Bull excuse. If you are a man or woman and you're poly just go ahead and find those who are ok with it instead of expecting monogamous people to cater to you. I don't know why people don't find it that simple. I don't have time to ponder about what should or shouldn't be happening, what I should or shouldn't be wanting. Know what you want, find someone who wants you.
Exactly!!
Brains, I have to be honest and say, that I feel it is bullshit. Once a commitment, is made by both parties, each needs to stay committed, or end the relationship.
A girlfriend I had, and I agreed to fool around, and she did more than I, but I agreed to it, even though I did feel some jealousy. When she caught me having cybersex with a woman in South America, she was a little upset, but what is good for the goose is good for the gander.
Thanks for the honesty.. And why I personally don't believe in poly relationships. People agree to it agree not to get jealous, but you can't guarantee or promise how you'll "really" feel till you "really" experience..
Open relationships work for some, monogomous for others.
Monogamy is a coupling and marriage strategy that came primarily out of the European Christian culture, and it is one of the main reasons why Christianity and European culture became so successful and dominant as opposed to the vast majority of every other culture and society where polygamy was the norm.
Monogamous relationships and pair bonding is the most efficient and most beneficial for raising and rearing of children for the next generations. But the West almost exclusively is losing this evolutionary strategy.
Shit
It's all bulls.
It's all about discipline and respect.
Simple example.
If in an argument a guy hits a woman, the world says "he has no self restraint and loses his temper". It is not accepted at all. (Actually same goes for the woman).
"Hard to stay monogamous" has nothing to do with "nature". It has to do with respect for your partner and self restraint.
EXACTLY! Thank you!
https://www.youtube.com/embed/wB49C5cV3sgBravo Sierra.
Randy Travis "On the Other Hand"
It may or may not be in the nature of wild animals (some play the field, while some mate for life).
God made man to have a marriage with a woman. Amen.
👍👍😊
Amen.
Excuse. I agree with your point of it being human nature over gender. All questions and answers on here that say is it true that all men or all women do whatever are flawed. If you date women and have a bad attitude youd blame women. Then a woman blames a man. Its only whatever the gender you date not some iron clad rule that everyone wants to hang on. People are the same as much as they are different.. You are just unlucky when it happens to you. That why people stay together when you find one that works
Stereotypical but not always true. I’ve only cheated once in my life at that was at 16. Since then I have always been loyal once I was in a relationship. Yes I feel tempted at times but I had too much respect my partner to not do that. Even when was angry or looking to break up I still stuck to my principle.
The real problem is women often try to “date up” and are attracted to men who are prone to be like this.
They are also attracted to men who are already in relationships (which is bad all the way around). They need to quit enabling men with this self destructive behavior.
Very true... man truly wants to smash as many different women as possible... and that's all men... it's mainly about having the ability to do it... if a man has the ability... he does it... if he doesn't he chooses one women and gets down on his knees.
Tall guys.. rich guys... muscular guys.. handsome guys... famous guys... successful men need to smash multiple women. So many women want these type of men.
If I were unattractive... flat broke... and short... I'd try to change it or just settle with a huge heavy BBW. But know matter what... I'd always desire other women... FOR I AM MAN💪💪🏻💪🏼💪🏽💪🏾💪🏿
You go for bad boys, then complain about. No kidding. I'm not like these douche bags. And I'm not a fan being put in the same group as the so called men. Yes have multiple sex parents sounds fun. But if I'm in a relationship, in it. I commit, I'm loyal, respectful, honest. I treat people the way I want to be treated. Hate these a-holes winning in life. Fml.
Nope I'm definitely not into bad boys.. lolol
Was just a conversation with someone.
Hell, I haven't been in a relationship since my husband died 8 years ago.
Who was able to be monagomous for 20 years as was I... But then the idiots that believe that garbage will either say "that's the exception" out they'll say men are only monagomous cuz they have no other options, and I call bull on that too. But then women are accused of painting men as bad. Seems to me it's other men doing that
Yes! So why do these types of "men" get all the action. All the glory? Why do a-holes win at life? Why do people give them chances? Makes the honest good men look bad. I'm sick of it. I feel like I'll die alone. So many men are screwing it up for the rest of us.
I agree it's not fair, and why I don't think I believe in karma, cuz the wrong people suffer, and shit people get away with anything
This is the sad world we live in. Humans suck.
And not in a good way🤣
I'm just going to answer your question with historical facts which indicate that at least 50-60% of married men have had sex outside of their marriage, since anyone began keeping stats on such things! I'm not sure if "meant to be" is proper term because that implies genetics, but they sure don't "want to be"! LOL
Did you know there was a study done that actually found more women have cheated than men but women are better at hiding it. Men are not necessarily the promiscuous assholes we are made out to be.
@realandcurious this post wasn't to make men out to be promiscuous assholes,.. But those words did come out of the mouth of a man, and I disagree/disagreed.. So before you imply it's women making men out to be that, you should talk to your fellow brothers that claim this to be true, or use this as an excuse to not be faithful
@realandcurious Yes, I believe there might have been "a study", as in singular, that produced such a result, but that would be the sum total of all such studies! Any study on fidelity relies on the participants telling the truth, and even when the study is completely anonymous, participants have admitted lying on certain questions because "it made them uncomfortable" to admit things they didn't want to face. Women may be better actresses and hide their dalliances more effectively than men, but I see no hard evidence they do it far more frequently than men.
It's not a "claim" that it's true, the data shows it to be true.:)
Monogamy is a choice. If that's not what you're after, man or woman, be upfront about it. If it is what you want have the balls to commit to it. You won't always feel like it. You may be tempted. You will be attracted to other people. Commitment takes effort. Monogamy is no different than any other commitment. Time to put on our big boy pants.
EXACTLY!! And that applies for women as well. Put on the big girl panties or in my case, at my age " granny panties"🤣
Lol. You're too pretty to be a granny.
Thanks but I literally am, have a 3, about to be 4 year old grandson😍
Grandma or not. You're still too attractive to be called granny.
Thanks 😊
I’m currently in a polyamorous relationship (2F one M), and I will say it’s not for everyone. I love both of my partners, and the dynamic of living with two people. it is the most respectful and honest relationship i’ve been in. I was very anti-polygamy at first but this relationship has changed my mind on how humans are supposed to love. I don’t think there’s one certain way. I’ve been in love with one person at a time, and now i know i’m capable of loving two at a time. I think humans are capable of polyamorous love, but due to society standards and expectations it’s hard for most. It def isn’t for everyone.
I think it just depends how the person was raised/religion. I rebelled in my 20's, had multiple partners, but I knew as I got older I didn't want to be alone like my mother. My Grandparents on both sides stayed married until death. My other relatives were the same, married until death. So despite how dysfunctional my marriage is.. I guess I gta work it out! lol
Time and time again studies have shown that humans weren’t MEANT to be stuck with one person FOR EVER AND EVER AND UNTIL DEATH DUE US PART.
Time and time again they’ve found that humans are polyamorous. That couples in most cases grow tired of eachother. That the PASSION is short lived.
Studies show that men are wired to spread their seed with as many as they can.
Also. Women as innocent as they’re told they are. Reality says otherwise. A woman is capable of countless orgasms for hours on end. It’s also been known that one sexual encounter is not enough to satisfy a woman while it is for a man when he’s ejaculated.
The shape of a man’s penis is meant to scoop out other males semen from the inside of a woman’s vagina while he goes for his turn.
(Basically a woman is supposed to have countless sexual partners in one night until she becomes pregnant.
A man is supposed to impregnate as many women as he can forever.)
We’re all supposed to be polyamorous!
It's an excuse for both genders to subject to give into temptation, lust, and hedonism.
I offer wisdom, and hope. And it is spit back at me. But I don't think they will be spitting much longer.
How can I blame them though? They do not understand. They are already saying we are defeated. I say we have not yet begun to fight. God Bless.
Oh I agree, and I agree BOTH genders are ruining relationships out of selfishness and entitlement.. Why I've stayed single since my husband died 8 1/2 years ago.
Me as well, for almost 3 years now. But no death, just a domineering woman who I could no longer put up with.. As is the typical American woman. But we will change it all back. Tradition is everything.
Don't lump all women as the same...
And it's not just women that can be domineering, it's men as well..
Noone should be trying to control someone else, that's not what relationships should be about...
I said "typical" because that is what is propagandized for how women should behave in the West.
I have friends in Eastern Europe where women are still "womanly." I am not trying to lump all American women together, however, it has become the norm from what I've seen, thus our divorce rate is high, marriage rate low, single parenthood high, single (in general) high. We kind of check all the boxes for how the genders should not interact unfortunately.
I hope to change that for all of my people not just for myself.
Being callous, lying, and disrespecting people is just fucking rude and mean and shouldn't be part of any relationship, but preventing that takes the courage to be honest about how much we can promise to agree to, to maintain a relationship. it's the betrayal that hurts, not the sex.