Girlfriend was being secretive with her phone, tilting it away from me, and I took a look through it later on in the day?

[Anonymous]

She was texting 2 guys who I don't know, and they both had nicknames in her phone (not their real first names). Both were asking her to chill, and she deleted all of her replies. One of them asked when she got off work, then the next text was "beautiful." I asked her about it, and asked who the guys were, and she got really defensive and said, "they're just guys from work. Why are you being so insecure?" But she refused to tell me who they were... I am not an insecure person, but my gut instinct is very strong and it's been bothering me ever since. This was a week ago, and things have been good between me and her but it is still bothering me that she couldn't tell me who these people are... Advice?

[dupe666]

"They're just guys from work. Why are you being so insecure?"
And you seriously fell for that?

Dude you ARE insecure. You are insecure in your own perception of reality. What she did was take the focus away from her bad behavior and flipped it on you. It's not about what she is doing, it's why are YOU so insecure? YOU are doing something wrong, not her. Unless you call her out on this bullshit, prepare to become a doormat. And after that, you'll be dumped sooner, or later anyway.

The best course of action is to attack. Confront her and when she asks why are you being so insecure, instead of cowering before her accusation with your tail between your legs, persist with your demands and call her bullshit. -"This is not about me, it's about you. I don't want guys sending you texts like that and I demand an apology. If you ask me why I'm so insecure one more time, I don't ever want to see your face again you hypocritical bitch."

If she still wants to date you, this part will be followed by her trying to guilt you into surrendering the fight to her. Shit like: "Why are you being so mean to me? You don't have to be angry. You *insert her hurt feelings*..." These whining accusations are there to make you to feel bad for "scaring her" and to again flip the focus on YOU. If you don't give into this crap and persist sternly she changes her behavior, if you reject her whining with the same amount of resentment as you have rejected her indignation, you will win the fight.
Only after she agrees not to chat up those guys anymore and apologizes, will you win the fight.
--------------------
And alternative event is that she will break up with you, or decide to ignore you for the time being after which she'll be back pretending nothing happened.
If she breaks up, don't ever contact her again, or accept her back unless she comes back to you apologizing.
If she walks out on you and later pretends nothing happened, you are obligated to break up.

Don't be a doormat.

[Anonymous]

When not open and hiding that is a bad sign. Deleting is a sign of her cheating. If she doesn't talk about the guys she works with casually with you she is probably more than just co workers. If she doesn't but the real names in the phone book then thats bad. You should not have looked at her phone though it is a sign you dont trust her which you probably shouldnt. Next time she tilts her phone away just call her out be like " you seem like you are hiding something, do you want to talk about it?" Puts her in a tough spot and that way you dont intrude in her privacy with the phone snoop.

[Deft_maiden]

Listen to your guy feeling. It won't steer you wrong..
I think she is hiding something, that's why she got defensive.
Protect yourself. It's better to prevent than to heal.

[LostloverRina]

Give her a second a change and remind her that you're gonna appreciate her honesty. If she gets defensive than tell her it's over.

[gtrain]

Dude... im gonna tell you this and you can take it or leave it... but get rid of her. She might not be cheating on you physically YET but she's still doing the dodgey for sure... your gut feeling is pretty much always right. Whenever you ignore your gut you regret it. I would say break up with her, then stand strong and see if or how hard she try's to get you back. If she trys really hard then that means she might learn her lesson and stop. She will then have more respect for you knowing that you won't take that shit. If she doesn't try get you back then so be it she wasn't worth it.

[kstout6]

Everyone is saying it is a bad relationship, and they have good reason to say so. Depending how much was invested in this relationship, it could be hard or easy. If you are under 25, spent less than a year with this person, and/or not planning on spending the rest of your life with this person, then it should be easy to dump her. If the above criteria has not been met, then you need to talk to her to see where you both are going in this relationship.

[jackyct]

Work friends? I would rather call them side dicks. She's definitely cheating or getting there. You won't know what she's doing in her breaks or whenever.

[Anonymous]

If it was nothing she would have told you about her so called work friends like you would speak about her girl friends. There not friends. She's cheated or planning to that's not right at all. Always go with you'd gut it's usually right

[Endlesslove4]

You should beware. Secrets from lovers... she's probably up to no good. I'm not encouraging you to be insecure but secure in what your feeling/ thinking. I'm old fashioned and not open minded when lovers lovn everyone else too!

[Twirler3300]

Break up with her first

[MissBollinger12]

dump her shady ass

[Anonymous]

break up with her