Can a girl recover from coming on too strong with a guy?

[Anonymous]

Went through a rough breakup two months ago and came on a little strong with the first guy I started seeing when I started dating again. My friend spoke with him and he basically said I "kind of pushed him away" but she thinks its salvageable. Is she right that you can recover from that or wrong?

[confused1966]

Yes I think it's absolutely possible. However, you need to let him approach you-do not have any contact with him for two or three weeks and let him miss you. If you run into him be friendly but don't talk to him for longer than two or three minutes-Make eye contact but get out of there. Let him see that you are giving him plenty of space get yourself involved with other activities and build up your self-esteem by doing things that you feel are important for you. Guys by nature like to chase-If you don't allow them to do so then they feel threatened and will runaway. If you stop chasing them and act like you're just friends or you're not interested-They generally will try and get your attention back-For the first few times do not fall for it. Guys like to have their ego boosted and he could easily call you and if you're not ready-Will chase him off even further. Give him about two months and then if there is a place where you can running to him without being too obvious-Just have them on the shoulder and say hello and go about your own way. Talk to other people I don't pay any attention to what he's doing-he should come around if you ever cared. If he doesn't then work on building up yourself and meeting other people you may find that he's not worth your time or effort to spend getting back. Just my thought

[becca123]

Perfect advice ,;)

[Asker]

This was perfect advice :) thank you, I'll try it out and see what happens! I guess if I don't hear from him then he wasn't the right one anyway!

[becca123]

Well if he calls you, do NOT bring it up or apologize and make excuses for your actions, that will be seen as even mote insecure.

For now you need to just play it coooooool. You're fine with him. You're fine without him. Don't call, don't text until he does first. If your coming on too strong was too much, now you need to convince him it was not all that big of a deal. He can change his mind if you stay calm, cool and collected ,:)

[Asker]

Thanks :) I think you're right, I'll do my thing and if he comes back then great, if not then he wasn't someone I wanted anyway

[confused1966]

This is perfect-if he does call don't bring it up. The message that he needs to receive is actually the one that you said you're fine with him your fine without them and don't make any move until he makes the first move. It may take a couple of months and if it does-treat his ass like a friend even if he pushes you to do something else don't do it@Becka 123 it sounds like you and I have been through the same experience-I don't know whether to laugh or cry it out when I might do both!

[zinithin]

It's pretty hard to recover from that, not saying it's impossible. People generally don't like to be a rebound. Coming on hard after a breakup makes it seem like your rebounding and can put people off of you for a long time.

[Asker]

Yeah:/ I feel you. Well, I guess I'll just back off and if he comes around then great but I won't pursue it further