Guys, making love vs. sex?

[Miseryprincess]

hi guys, what does "making love" mean to you?
i know that plain sex doesn't necessarily includes feelings or an emotional bond in compatison to making love.
but do you make love with a girl because you find her attractive? Do you make love to her because you'd use this to show her that you actually at least love her a bit without actually saying "i love you"?
I wanna hear your reasons please!

[BearsAnswers]

Making love involves emotional attachment. There will be a lot more intense eye contact. There will generally be more periods of slower motion and harder intensity mixed together to make a more intense experience, as opposed to just 'one speed to completion' or crappy stuff like that.

The girls attractiveness doesn't matter. Guys can just want to have sex with a pretty girl. It also doesn't necessarily mean a guy is in love with the girl, though he certainly could be. It is a sign that there is a deeper emotional connection, and that he wants to be doing it with that specific person, at that specific moment. A lot of times with 'just sex', you could pretty much replace the partner with any other attractive person and the encounter would play out the same. With 'making love', it is because of who the person is, so swapping in a different person wouldn't work. The person is a specific and necessary part of the appeal.

So, you'll generally need a guy that is capable of having that kind of emotional bond to experience it, if that's what you're wanting to experience.

[Miseryprincess]

Thank you for your oppinion. here's another question:
why do some guys withdraw and literally ignore a girl and dont text her for a while after making love for the first time with her? its currently my situation. my boyfriend & i made love 2 days ago and he cared about me so that i'd have the best pleasure possible but in the 3 months weve been together now he sidnt say i love you once and when i asked him after it how he feels now he said "we'll talk about this over a coffee". this was the last text since almost three days now. so since he pulled back or ignores me now i really wonder whats going on now because i fell really hard for him but i'm so unsure concerning his feelings towards me now 😞... he also hasn't replied to my "hey :* are you ok?" text yesterday...

[BearsAnswers]

It depends on the person, to some extent. And how strong the existing relationship is. And how often you have had sex before that.

2 days isn't too long, not quite long enough to start to worry. Though if it was the first time you two had sex at all, not just the first time it felt like 'making love', then that would be a bigger concern, as it shows a bit of a lack of emotional awareness and concern for your feelings.

Don't make the mistake of assuming that because a guy was an attentive lover, and wanted it to be very pleasurable for you, to mean that he has emotional feelings for you though. Yes, sometimes those two will overlap. But not always. Some guys simply want to be a good lover, and some realize that girl's will talk, and having girls talk about how attentive you were is a lot better than having them say you were selfish in bed. So he may care, he may not, but don't translate 'good sex' into 'genuine feelings', because that's not always the case.

[Miseryprincess]

well it actually was the first time we made love...

[BearsAnswers]

Well... hmmm... that is a bigger concern.

Would he go this long without talking normally?

It is possible that he may have only been working on you in order to get laid, though that's a long time to put in to have sex once and leave. It's cause for concern though, and it's a really big sign that he doesn't really care about your emotions or your state of mind.

[Miseryprincess]

usually we text every day but communication got less as time passed so when he sent a text every half an hour before now he would send a text every hour or every 2 hours for example and he always says "work has been crazy busy" when i tell him that i noticed the lack in communication..

[BearsAnswers]

The pressure to try and MAKE time for a girl, instead of just finding time where you're not doing anything, will drop dramatically after you've had sex, if your only goal in the relationship, or your main goal, was sex.

[Miseryprincess]

so this means that if a guy was only in it for sex he won't bother to make or find time anymore?

[BearsAnswers]

Yes. Though if he is not done with the girl yet, he will try to make time when he is feeling horny again. Suddenly there will be some time, and he will just tell you that he was too busy earlier, but tonight he has some free time if you wanted to come over and hang out.

He will otherwise try to just find time when he's not doing anything. There is a difference between finding time and making time.

[Miseryprincess]

so this guy is a sucker and i'm gonna delete his number. in case he'll ever text again i'll pretend i didn't know who it was and in the meantime i'm gonna find myself a guy who's worthy of my time and affection and my heart

[BearsAnswers]

Well, I would give him another day to see, but yeah, I would really have him on a short leash at this point. If he only seems to find time now, instead of make time, or if he only seems to have time for you if it involves you two doing something that leads to sex, then you will really know what his priority is.

[Anonymous]

Making love, to me, would be when I actually love the girl. I'm attracted to her body and face, yes, but I also love her personality and soul. It's when we can have passionate sex AND enjoyable conversations. She makes me feel alive and she makes me feel like there is something different and special about her, like there isn't another like her anywhere. Like she is one of a kind.

Just sex, to me, includes love-making and hooking up. It could be with someone I love, or it could just be with someone I find hot. All making love is having sex, but not all sex is making love.

[Miseryprincess]

Thank you for your oppinion. here's another question:
why do some guys withdraw and literally ignore a girl and dont text her for a while after making love fir the first time with her? its currently my situation. my boyfriend & i made love 2 days ago and he cared about me so that i'd have the best pleasure possible but in the 3 months weve been together now he sidnt say i love you once and he always said "making love is for me the first step to feel love".. so since he pulled back or ignores me now i really wonder whats going on now because i fell really hard for him but i'm so unsure concerning his feelings towards me now :(...

[Opinion Owner]

Couldn't tell ya. It could be any number of reasons. Most likely it's nothing to worry about. You don't want to fall into the trap of over-worrying. That only pushes people away.

[Miseryprincess]

yeah over worrying is the point cuz i assume all the time that he might ignore me to think about a way to tell me that he doesn't feel the same as i do for him after we made love...
because I've got such a gut feeling since some time... and a gut feeling rarely predicts sth good

[oldanddecrepid]

To me... making love means sharing a much deeper intimate connection with my woman. When we make love it takes sex to a whole different level because we are so totally into one another. It allows me to further demonstrate my love for her and make her realize that she means everything to me.

The way I like to make love to my women, does not require me saying I love her. The way I hold her, stare deeply into her eyes and touch her body is enough to show how I feel about her. I tend to kiss her at first so gently... just touching her lips to get the taste of hers and tease her a little. My hands move over every inch of body. I prefer to take charge and have her however I want her and allow her to do whatever she wants. We finish with both our hearts beating quickly and our bodies entwined.

The caressing and talking post sex is the best part so we can rest until the next round :)

[thisguy1234]

Making love means that you are madly in love with the girl that you are sleeping with. Every time you have sex you have the romantic sex when you both are looking deep into each other's eyes. You get lost in the other persons eye while having sex. It just adds that extra emotional element to sex. Having sex is just going at it with someone that you find attractive to get off.

[Miseryprincess]

Thank you for your oppinion. here's another question:
why do some guys withdraw and literally ignore a girl and dont text her for a while after making love fir the first time with her? its currently my situation. my boyfriend & i made love 2 days ago and he cared about me so that i'd have the best pleasure possible but in the 3 months weve been together now he sidnt say i love you once and he always said "making love is for me the first step to feel love".. so since he pulled back or ignores me now i really wonder whats going on now because i fell really hard for him but i'm so unsure concerning his feelings towards me now 😞...

[Miseryprincess]

he also ignored yesterday's "hey :* are you ok"? text -.-

[thisguy1234]

That is crazy that you dated for 3 months and you just had sex. Maybe he did it to just want to have sex with you. or maybe he is just busy. I would say just give him some space and He will say something to you. It just sounds like he might feel like you are to much for him and he does not want to make that much of a commitment. I dated this girl for about 2 years and we had sex the second day that we knew eachother. So sometimes some people are compatible and want the same thing and other times they don't.

[Miseryprincess]

but how
much space is acceptable until its time to consider to walk away? he's not been replying for 3 days now! and he can't be so busy because usually he always found time

[thisguy1234]

I'd move on. Sounds like he just wanted to sleep with you. He might have made a pros and cons list. It is sad that he can't respond that is just being a pansy.

[Remonster]

Sex is just that, making each other feel good and have a hot night. Making love is more like celebrating your feelings for one-another in the form of sex. It can be sensual and slow, with lots of teasing and small-nothings, which would be awkward to do with a one-night-stand. But that doesn't rule out the possibility of rougher sex, it just feels so much more intimate when you do it with someone you love deeply.

[Miseryprincess]

Thank you for your oppinion. here's another question:
why do some guys withdraw and literally ignore a girl and dont text her for a while after making love fir the first time with her? its currently my situation. my boyfriend & i made love 2 days ago and he cared about me so that i'd have the best pleasure possible but in the 3 months weve been together now he sidnt say i love you once and he always said "making love is for me the first step to feel love".. so since he pulled back or ignores me now i really wonder whats going on now because i fell really hard for him but i'm so unsure concerning his feelings towards me now 😞... and when i texted him "hey :* are you ok?" he hasn't replied to this as well..

[Old_School]

Sex is sex. A person could be just enjoying the other person for selfish desires. Making love is different, you make love to somebody you are passionately in love with. Somebody you wouldn't mind marrying. Making love is what keeps marriages together.

[Miseryprincess]

well in my case my "boyfriend" possibly would have lied to me then cuz he said "making love is the first step to feel love for me" so he clearly didn't have any stronger feelings for me as well as he probably doesn't have after we did it cuz i read that if a guy isn't in love with a girl, not even sex will change it. damn sucker -.- this is really disappointing

[BrianSmith]

Making love means feeling the essence of a women in your hands and pounding her senseless.

[Anonymous]

I'd feel gay if I said making love. Dudes generally have lustful animalistic sex, they tend not to make love.

[Anonymous]

Guys rarely make love, we fuck what we can. Women link love and sex, we don't...

[Remonster]

When I'm in a relationship I certainly link the two. You don't?

[Opinion Owner]

certainly. when in a relationship

[sid312]

Making love takes time, sex is lets rock