How does a guy act when he's jealous that a girl he likes is talking to another guy?

[Anonymous]

So, there's a guy and I think he likes me...

I'm wondering though, what are signs that a guy is jealous? I never intentionally make him jealous and I never would do that. He works nearby and I am friends with his boss (and that's actually how I met this guy, because I started going over there). His boss is a real friendly guy with a great sense of humor, so he and I are always talking and laughing with each other. Casually of course.

The "boss" and I definitely don't flirt. I'm 18 and this guy is in his late 30's and married with two kids. When his wife is around I talk to her too.

There have been times though that this guy who I think likes me just totally ignores me when his boss is around.

Sometimes the boss and I will be talking and laughing and this other guy will be standing right nearby looking extremely focused and tense. His jaw seems to be tight, his brows furrow, he purses his lips... all, of course, making me think he must be uncomfortable or not okay with something. This guy is usually pretty quiet, but it seems like he gets really different when I talk to his boss.

He won't even say anything to me... he'll just ignore me... I don't know why he would have a problem with me talking to a nearly 40 year old man who is married with kids in a completely friendly way.

What do you think? And also for further reference could you name some other things guys do? Thanks.

[max_turner]

He is probably jealous, knowing he doesn't want to loose you. Yet, his insecurity with himself and the dreaded thought of failing has blinded him from what is reality...that the guy in question is married and has kids!

As you said, he's concentrating hard on both your and the other guys expressions, trying to figure out what is flirty and what is normal talking. He'll probably look straight at you when you make the smallest of smiles; thinking because you are smiling, you must like him. Seeing this, he will think he isn't good enough and fall into a temporary depressed state; whereby he will ignore you to show that he can 'get on which is life' without you...yet inside he will be quite upset.

Quite a vivid answer eh? How come...because when I was younger I used to be the same, what a prat I used to be.

What can you do about it? Two options.

1) If you like him and would consider a relationship in the future with him, make sure for every time you talk to your boss, you talk twice as much to this guy. This way you are feeding his insecurities and he'll be content. Don't feel like baby sitting?

2) Ignore him when he ignores you, if he really likes you he will eventually 'cool down' and approach you, only then talk to him; this would be a good opportunity to ask him why he's been so quiet lately. Don't say why he has been ignoring you lately! This will only heighten his defensive nature due to his self insecurities, he will flat out deny it and will then ironically ignore you for longer!

[Asker]

I do feel bad for him and I think I understand his behavior. What I meant by him being focused is that he becomes... extremely focused on what he is doing almost like he's trying to block out this other guy and I speaking and act cool. That is a really good suggestion though, I don't talk much to this guy because we're still kind of shy with each other, but showing him more attention after talking with the other guy is probably a good thing to do.

[Asker]

I had been wondering for the longest time why he seemed more cold to me when his boss or the other older guy he works with were working (the other guy and I talk because he always asks questions and I can see this guy looking over, less angry, just like he wants to say something almost) but he's more attentive when the younger guys are there (I don't talk to them as much, because they're more shy also).

[Anonymous]

Not an opinion but a response. My crush gets very serious looking and pays attention when I am talking to other guys at work. Even tho he claims were just friends. He just called me out for talking to another guy at work the other day. Claiming I did it to try to make him jealous. And saying he found it funny that I tried, because it didn't work. But now I believe even more that my instincts were right from your post and the other response here. And he actually was/is jealous. Maybe he just can't admit it yet?