Is it normal that my boyfriend spends more time on his hobbies than with me?

[Anonymous]

Well, my boyfriend love computer games too much. He always asked me to play too, but for me is any fun at all. Sometimes I want to chat with him, or to spend more time together, but because of those we can't. He say that he need to relax after a day, but, still, I find not fair.

In an relationship is normal to keep your hobby or to find other common with your partner?

[scbigmac07]

Personally, as a guy that loves video games and movies and whatever else. I'll most likely still be playing them when I'm 90. On one occasion I've broken up with a girl over video games because she wanted me to choose. but I digress. It is a little unfair to you however, because I find that so many women want to have a conversation, because they feel that's how they can really connect with another person and you want to share yourself with him through talking. I won't lie to you, I feel for the guy in that when I've had a stressful day, all I want to do is sit in front of the computer or my x-box or PS3. and just play some games eat and go to bed. Even though from time to time I do enjoy talking, I also find it irritating. it's just depends on my mood, how well we already know each other, the topic and whatever else. But if you want to meet your need which is definitely with in reason, talk to him and tell him that you're wants and needs aren't being met. and that he should make time for you. But you can't tell him to quit all together. because for us it isn't a hobby. it's apart of our lifestyle.

[Asker]

But you regret because you broke up with that girl which asked to choose? And did you changed ?

I want almost to do the same thing, to choose me or computer game. I am living with my boyfriend since 2 yaers. I let my country for him and he know very good that I have any friends here and I get bored all day long chating with the walls.

[scbigmac07]

I don't want for it to discourage you, but I believed that if things didn't work out with her I'd end up picking my games anyway. So I didn't really change. I did start looking for women that either enjoyed games or didn't mind them.

So just go with what I said earlier about telling him how you feel and about you're wants and needs.

[Asker]

Thx a lot

[Killfest400]

I'd have to agree with scbigmac07 that if a girl gave me an ultimatum between hobby and her, then I'd pick hobby. Like your boyfriend said, our hobby is our way to unwind. However, your boyfriend should make time for you. If he doesn't have enough time for you, his games, and whatever else is going on in his life, something needs to go. If he gives up his hobby, then he's likely going to be annoyed and frustrated all the time after a hard day. He really can't give up his day (which I assume is work). Either he needs to learn to moderate his game playing, or he doesn't need to have a girl in his life.

Talk to him about it. Tell him that you want to spend more time with him, and that he isn't giving enough time to your relationship. If he decides he wants to keep you, then he should be willing to at least cut back on the gaming. As it stands right now, he's basically expecting you to give your time to him without him giving anything back.

[AdrianaVega]

My boyfriend does the same thing I just deal with it by locking myself in my room. He clearly doesn't care enough and I've already told him about his hobby being destructive. But whatever I'm done wasting my breath on it. It's more like friendship than dating at this point we don't even go out on dates because "he's tired" or "we don't have money" or whatever. But he's sure game to buy himself more manga and videos games. But god forbid I ask for something.

He's gonna find himself single soon, not that he really cares about that either.. As soon as I get the courage to leave him. (I hate being single)

[Terdog]

A dude needs his down time. It isn't an option, it is a necessity, especially after a hard day of work. That said, he has to find time to spend with you, one-on-one quality time. NEVER put an ultimatum on a guy. He will always choose the exact opposite of what you want unless he lacks a spine. If he goes your way he will resent it forever and he won't let you forget it.

Set him aside and explain how you understand how much he likes the games but there needs to be some kind of understanding as to when the two of you will spend time together outside of his hobbies.

[cmitch]

Yeah not normal. There are weirdos out there that lock themselves into video games. Sometimes it can be apart of a larger personality flaw, manifested in this. However, guys do play games and things like this to wined down. Excessive play is not normal.

I suggest trying to get him into something, see what happens. If he clings to the video games. Take a second look at the relationship.

[KERMlT]

I have hobbies that my partner doesn't share. It's healthy and natural. I'm not obsessed with my hobbies either. I may be different than other guys in this respect. If I was propositioned for sex, I'd skip my hobby time on occasion. If she does this constantly than Houston, we have a problem. She isn't accepting me for who I am.

[PrinceOfDrarkness]

Ok, you need to tell him, how you feel.He can't always have his way.

Anser mines link

[stktder]

OK, I'm 51 years old. I love computer games like the next guy. However, when it comes to my girl she is always first. All I ask is to let me finish until I get killed, LOL

[hhH2traveler]

Its normal in that a lot of guys do that, but it sounds very annoying to me, you should talk to him about it.