Do you believe in mutual love?

[OlderAndWiser]

I posted a myTake many months ago concerning the decision of who you should marry. I received many opinions, mostly favorable, but I received a few replies which were very skeptical about love. One user said, "You should marry the one who loves you, not the one who you love." I thought that was a very jaded view of love and marriage for a 20 year old lady! If you truly respect your partner, you would not marry them unless you are really in love with them; after all, don't they deserve to be in a marriage where they are loved, too? Anything less suggests that you should marry for convenience and advantage. The user's reply: "Although I'm still young I have noticed that love is only mutual in the rarest cases."

I tend to be idealistic and forever hopeful on the subject of love. I abhor the idea of "love at first sight" because it trivializes what love really is. I respect couples who approach their marriage as an ongoing commitment and not merely as a temporary state of affairs. They embody the ideals of true love.

I have been in two relationships where I loved my partner and she loved me. I don't think that is a freakishly rare state of affairs. Have you been in love? If so, did your partner love you? Is that relationship still together?

I have never been in a relationship

I have never been in love

I have been in love but my partner did not feel the same way about me

I have had someone fall in love with me but I did not feel the same way about them

I have been in love with someone who was also in love with me but the relationship eventually ended

I am in love with someone who is also in love with me and we are still together, going strong!

[FlutteringFeelings]

Sometimes.. I sit down and think to myself while asking many questions regarding "What is love?". Love basically can be counterfeited a lot and many fall for what could be than what it actually is. I can say I agree and believe in mutual love because everything doesn't have to occur in our lives for us to finally say "yea its real". I believe in it because i felt the deep process of "growing feelings" for someone and it came to a point when i couldn't even sleep at night. The feeling was over whelming and i felt excited when it reached the moment for me to see that specific individual. I felt happy, anxious, and so many things start to take place. I knew it wasn't infatuation so i crossed that off the list because he wasn't the finest guy and there wasn't anything sexual involved. I finally see "The one" that i remember telling myself i would never fall for.. the hug had me shaking and i assumed it was just me knowing that but he felt it also. If thats just the process then mutual love definitely exist. There are times when we don't choose the one we love but the one that loves us and suddenly we end up falling in love with them. But due to inconvenience and me stressing because a nonconcentration from school , and our lack of communication it did not work out. He was 19 but i couldn't judge it as many mentioned i'am "young" but now i'm wiser and it has also been a great experience because the feeling is indescribable.

[jesshkah]

I think all of these scenarios are possible, so I definitely believe in mutual love. (I'm your last option btw) However, I also think that in many cases even when both people do love each other, there's the chance that one person loves the other MORE. Now, how you quantify that, I have no fucking idea lol. Basically, I agree with everything you said here, though I haven't read your take yet.

[jesshkah]

Thank you for MH! :)

[Sara413]

One way love is unhealthy and unsustainable. You should marry someone who is truly your PARTNER in life. Someone who loves you as much as you love them, and who you love as much as you love yourself. A good relationship is one in which devotion, love, support and honour are reciprocated equally by both parties.

[mberrie]

I have never had a relationship and never been in love romantically

[OlderAndWiser]

It is never too late for love. I am 61 years old and still looking for love; I've think I've found it!

[mberrie]

I have my doubts that it's real, I'm not looking for love.

[OlderAndWiser]

That is so muy triste!

[mberrie]

For you, not for me, I am happy the way I am.

[chc0009]

No, I don't believe in mutual love. Maybe it exists for some people, but not for everyone. Not for people like me.

I am a Korean American man with Asperger's syndrome who enjoys working with computers, listening to heavy metal and industrial music, and loves Star Trek, G. I. Joe and horror slasher films.

I also confess that I only prefer Caucasian women, but unfortunately, most white women don't like Asian men. So mutual love is not going to come for everyone, therefore, I don't believe in it.

[clampfan101]

A girl and I fell in love with each other instantly absolutely forever ago. We continued to love each other every since, however our relationship had to end because she died a few years ago...

[OlderAndWiser]

My condolences, brother!

[frozenhorizon]

Yeah it's happened to me like once. I see no point in "settling" for any relationship that falls short of that, and it is rare, you have to meet lots of people to find one where you can really connect like that, it takes time. But to me it's worth it.

[takumii]

Yea once happened I thought I was in love but she wasn't , real scary shit. Felt so anxious everyday, took a while to get over it.

[OlderAndWiser]

Unrequited love is always sad!

[Joe1997]

I desperately hope that I will find strong mutual love!

[Anonymous]

I am in E at the moment. :/ We both still love each other, but right now a relationship isn't plausible.

[jacquesvol]

I am in love with someone who is also in love with me and we are still together, going strong!

[Baconburger]

I think the rarest thing is when 2 people love each other EQUALLY, why is why I think the options with "did not feel the same way" should be changed to something more specific.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you love someone and they love you, I think it is generally a mistake to try to compare how much you love them vs. how much they love you.

[Anonymous]

All the guy votes are in the negative poll answers and the girls are in the positive. At least somewhat positive.

[frozenhorizon]

Probably based on the types of people who come to this site haha.

[anonman32]

if the love is not mutual why even have a relationship?

[LittleMissCuriousity]

I do believe in mutual love, and soul mates. I also believe that we aren't limited in how many people we love and how many soul mates we have.

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you mean love several people at the same time or love different people at different points in our lives?

[LittleMissCuriousity]

Both.

[OlderAndWiser]

For me, love means this is THE ONE that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don't see how "loving" more than one person at the same time would be the same thing. However, I understand there are some [people who advocate the polyamory concept and some of them get quite belligerent if they are questioned or challenged.

[LittleMissCuriousity]

I am one of those advocates, and I practice. I'm sorry if it isn't for you, but I believe in it.

[Marinepilot]

I'm so jaded about relationships, I don't know what to believe.

[reptocarl]

I've had both C and D. I believe it exists but is rare. I think most marriages are one sided with one of the pair just settling

[Anonymous]

All I ever had was unrequited love :(

[OlderAndWiser]

That sounds very sad!

[Opinion Owner]

I know :(

[Doffydood]

Option A crew checking in! :p

[chrisbigman]

I'd like to believe in it.