How to flirt with a long distance guy friend over text?

[falafelany1]

We have been friends for years since we met in person when we were in middle school. We used to have a mutual crush on each other but when he left to go back to his country we stayed friends because we were young and the distance was too great for a romantic relationship. I have always had a thing for him in the back of my mind but we have not brought up past romantic feelings since that time of our lives years ago. We have remained friends and recently we have been texting a lot and I still like him but I have no idea how he feels about me now. He has not brought up past feelings since we met too. He probably thinks I only like him as a friend after all this time but I still like him. Not sure if he only feels platonic feelings for me though. How can I hint that I feel more than friendship toward him without actually saying it? I do not want to come right out and say it until we see each other in person again (within the next couple of years).

Updates

+1 y

During our friendship I have gone to him with guy problems but he has never once mentioned another girl to me which is weird.

Updates

+1 y

Any other advice?

[Cassie09]

You just have to tell him how you feel. And see if he feels the same way. You will never know until you let him know how you feel. You will have regrets if you don't. Good luck I hope it works out for you the way you want it to

[falafelany1]

Like I said, I would rather come out and say it when I see him in person again. It does not feel right to do something as big as that over text. Without seeing him in person to gauge his body language and all that I could be making a huge mistake in telling him.

[posted]

Just don't, find someone nearby. Especially in a different country, take forver before one of you can potentially even live there.

[falafelany1]

I know but we make each other laugh, have the same beliefs about almost everything, like the same activities, and he is really wonderful.

[posted]

Which is all well and good, until the cons of "no physical contact, what maybe see each other a few weeks a year? or two?" LDRs are bad ideas 99% of the time, I'm sure you can find someone around you. Plus you don't have any idea what theyre doing lol.

[falafelany1]

He is the nicest sweetest guy I have met. He is a great guy. He is in a different country so I don't think we would be able to see each other every year

[posted]

So you'll see him once every 2+ years... It's just a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. Pick a loved one/best friend and imagine you'll only see them once every 2-3 years for maybe a week. Do you even talk to him on the phone or just text?

[falafelany1]

We video chat, text, send voice messages

[posted]

Ah well im guessing you haven't tried an LDR before, all I can say is it won't be near as fun as it seems. Plus if you're expecting to be in an LDR and not see each other for years at a time then it's likely one or both of you is going to be having casual sex.

[posted]

"we stayed friends because we were young and the distance was too great for a romantic relationship." who decided this to start with? It's not fair to either of you.

[falafelany1]

I never said it would be fun. I just love this guy and if when I go to see him and he feels the same way about me well it will be hard to stop that process.

[falafelany1]

And we liked each other when we met when we were young but we were also friends so we just stayed friends

[posted]

Well do what you want to do I guess, it just won't work out long term.

[falafelany1]

Okay I know that most long distance relationships do not work out in the end and I am sorry that you have not had a positive experience with this, but why not take the opportunity if both people are willing and able to put the effort in?

[posted]

Because you miss out on actual opportunities, good luck expecting someone to not bang anyone and not see you for 2 years. It's just going to be incredibly lonely in general. Either way it's your problem I'm not going to continue beating a dead horse. If you want to try it enjoy.

[falafelany1]

Why are you so damn mean? Have you never loved a girl who you miss and wish you could be with right now? That is how I feel and it is hard to hear this stuff you are saying when I feel like there might be a chance that this could work in the future.

[posted]

Honesty hurts sometimes.

[falafelany1]

But it is not the ultimate truth what you are saying.

[falafelany1]

I know people who married their LDR partner

[posted]

If I gave you $10,000 to jump of a cliff knowing you had a lets say generous 1% in this case of surviving completely unharmed, would you do it? Unless someone has a deathwish they would say no. Doesn't mean it's an ultimate truth you WILL die or become severely injured. It's common enough that its incredibly foolish to do. Some people survive 3 story+ falls without any experience/training. Does that mean people should try it? Definitely not.

[falafelany1]

Well luckily I won't die from this. The analogy does not fit because that friend I know who is married now did not have a risk of dying and of she had not taken that jump then she would not be where she is right now with a family.

[posted]

More of a metaphor really. You have one friend who is married, cool... We're all aware once in every three blue moons it may work. A lot of LDRS are different, for example dating for years and someone moves to a university/college. They probably see each other often on breaks, of course some don't. There are many types of varying relationships and the smarter ones probably figure out whos moving where and when right at the start to see if that wait is worth the time or possible. There are people who may have been in short ones, lots of contact ones and all sorts of variables in between. When you want to date someone which involves a border and a very great distance you're lowering your odds. You can't visit even annually so you're lowering those odds even further. Also you seem to be just arguing for the sake of anger over what we've been telling you. Once again nothing is really being accomplished here and you're free to try it out.

[falafelany1]

I really don't enjoy arguing so good night. Thanks for the advice

[posted]

Goodluck, goodnight.

[Anonymous]

Just don't I've tried this a few times. Its never worked out. Sorry to burst your bubble but try and fins someone near you.

[posted]

^ Dis guy knows whats up.

[falafelany1]

I understand what you guys are saying. But it is hard to accept that when you love someone and have known someone well for a long time.

[Opinion Owner]

@posted yesh I know what she's going through cuz it seems great but it sucks. If you want to be lonely in a relationship do this... but no on ever wants to be lonely in a relationship

[Opinion Owner]

I understand asker. I've been there. It sucks you just need to move on

[posted]

It's easy to love someone over the phone, the only real issues you may have is a small disagreement on POV.

[falafelany1]

I have liked a bunch of guys since meeting him but the feelings were never mutual and I have continued to like this guy.

[posted]

It's just a horrible idea, I've seen people miss out quite a bit because of this, then they end.

[falafelany1]

@posted it's not like I haven't liked other guys it is just that they did not work out.

[Opinion Owner]

Asker part of the reason they don't work out cuz you compare it to this guy. You have him on tha back burner. You need to move away from him and just be friends

[falafelany1]

No the reason is because the guys I have liked were either gay or that only saw me as a friend. It had nothing to do with me. Also we are just friends except he does not know I still have a crush on him.

[Opinion Owner]

I know what your going through and you hate us for not helping you out but we are. I only say the things I do cuz I have gone through the same thing and it was with girls in the same country as me. It never works out

[falafelany1]

I know people who have had it work out and they are married.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes and so do i. But its very rare.

[falafelany1]

But how will you know unless you try