Their happiness before mine?

Question

When you’re in a relationship (if you’ve never been in one, imagine you had one), do you put your partner’s happiness before yours, or yours before theirs?

I put my partner's happiness first. I think in a relationship you gotta put your partner first. Obviously both have to do that, if you're putting your partner first, but they're not putting you first, then things aren't gonna work out.

HOAAH · Accepted Answer

when you are on a plane, they advise you to put your mask on first, then your kids... then husband but he should do his own! he is his own adult. i make myself happy in my relationship by reading self help books, exercise and eat well, and use proper hygiene, my husband should do the same! I am not his mom and he is not my dad. Also I highly doubt one person can be your everything, you need other outlets and then come to share. My husband plays tabletop games and then he paints and I do bible studies with numerous women. We just come together to tell each other how our hobbies are coming.
We also split things in the house/finances pretty equal. I do the finances, I clean and cook but he some times washes dishes and takes out the trash.

vonasaurus · Accepted Answer

we're taught that putting ourselves first is selfish. but, if you don't take care of yourself, how can you expect to do the same for someone else?

yes, we look after each other and making him happy does give me satisfaction. i love making people happy, but investing in his happiness at the expense of my own is not healthy or normal.

ie: if i "put my partner first" by giving up my dreams so that he can pursue his, or having a kid because he wants one even though i definitely don't, it creates resentment and will ultimately lead to the destruction of the relationship.

would you offer to pay your best friend's rent if you're behind on your own? no? then you'll see what i mean.

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

yup, I do put his happiness before my own 99% of the time. I do have my boundaries, of course, and wouldn't cross certain lines solely because that's what he wants (like.. doing anal and such) but the majority of the time, making him happy will in turn make me happy, resulting in a positive feedback cycle as he's of the same school of thought. :)

hellionthesagereborn · Accepted Answer

I think the goal should be to put your partners needs above your own wants. So its important to make them happy BUT its also important that you are getting the things you need out of the relationship as well. If you would not think it was okay if it happened to your friends or family members then it shouldn't be okay for you.

Ironprimus · Accepted Answer

the point of relationship is to be happy together. so I my opinion it's not one way or the other. it's a giving and receiving the whole point of a relationship is finding somebody that you're happy with. the fact alone of being together with them is in it should be a huge difference to what you we're without them.

19magic · Answer

I don't always take care of myself in the best way, but I do all the basics to keep me satisfied. Little things makes me happy, whether it's doing work and checking it to see that it's right and I've understood, taking a walk. It doesn't matter so I've always put others first.

anonynoe · Answer

In a relationship, I tend to give everything I can. Sonetimes it's unhealthy, and I'd hurt myself, but I just can't bare the thought of my s. o. feeling bad. I'm always willing to put my need behind theirs, even when my s. o. doesn't care or acknowledge it.

JustNoOneSpecial · Answer

id give away my happiness to make someone else happy, all day

KKLKTN16 · Answer

all of the above sometimes you put yours before theirs, but if the relationship doesn't work out it's not because your didn't put theirs before yours, its because you didn't talk about whatever it is your putting their happiness before yours or yours before theirs

ThisDudeHere · Answer

Hard to say. I would like to objectively say that I would try and put their's before mine but the stubborn oaf in me tells me that this is self-detrimental.

GabrielRose · Answer

ou need to care for yourself before you do so for someone else, then when you are cared for care for others but you matter as well ^-^

Nightinggale · Answer

I don't see it from the same paradigm that you do. I think it's entirely possible to put your and their happiness on the same level. To "put them first" isn't really putting their happiness first if by doing do it makes you happy, is it?

Xoxoxooo123 · Answer

I try to put my partner's happiness first, unless they're selfish then I put my needs above theirs.

GenerationThrowaway · Answer

I do whatever I have to to make sure my girlfriend is happy even if it kills me if I'm with someone all I want is to see a smile on their face

Uncaring_Bastard · Answer

No. You're with that person because you're happy with them, and they're happy with you. But if you no longer feel happy with a person, you should leave him/her.

TheSpartan · Answer

When I'm in love, their happiness is what makes me happy.

LadyBabe · Answer

I know I have been selfish, but I'm trying to change when the next guy comes along...

Dog19 · Answer

I don't want to put their happiness first

Decentguy · Answer

their happiness comes first

catelyntje · Answer

I'd compensate

blackwolf3x · Answer

Its all about compromise

luvstoned4him · Answer

I always do..

TrollG0D · Answer

Mine first. Always.

Pimop95 · Answer

Mine comes first

Their happiness before mine?

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