How could I let him use me? now I'm hurting.

[Anonymous]

2 weeks After my ex and I broke up, I went to give him something that I bought him before we broke up. We were hanging out in his house and nobody else was home but him and I, so like old times we laid in his bed and talked. He asked me if I wanted to kiss him and of course I did, ya know we only broke up two weeks ago and I still wanted to be with him, so I said yes and so he kissed me. While we were kissing, he got on top of me and started to take my pants off, I told him to we weren't going to do anything because we aren't together anymore but he did it and called me a bitch. He only had boxers on as usual so He started to rub himself against me and when I told him "we couldn't have sex", he just told me to "shut the f**k up" and called me a bitch again. He kept kissing me and started to take my underwear off and I told him to stop and I went to push him off me but he just pinned my arm down and said "no, I'm not stopping". So I tried to get up but he just pushed me right back down. After that I just let him do what he wanted, 1/3 because I still wanted to be with him, 1/3 because I thought that it meant he wanted to get back with me and 1/3 because I didn't think I could stop him anyway, he's always been really aggressive with me in bed. (I'm a virgin so we had been only having anal sex) and when he finished he got up and went to the bathroom, I just sat and cried...I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know what it meant..I just didn't know. He was my 1st boyfriend and we broke up so suddenly, I thought he changed his mind but he didn't...he hasn't even called me since that day (2 weeks and a 1/2 ago) I'm kinda really hurting and I definitely blame myself for being so dumb and letting him do it. But why? Why did he do that to me, knowing how I feel about him? And now I just feel used.

[ladnek2009]

hun, you did it for the same reason I would have. I have a pretty terrible habit of giving people a second chance. you see a glimmer of hope in the situation and jump to it without really thinking it through. after you explained this situation, I think you are much better off without him. any person who uses you like that certainly does not deserve you. don't blame yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. you are only human. and it is simply the error in human nature that caused this to happen to you. he did that to you because he is a prick. a male chauvinist pig. I know it hurts, but the best thing you can do is the keep your chin up and if he calls or text you or anything, either don't answer, or just tell him that he doesn't deserve the time of day from you.

[D-angel]

First,no matter what he does,you must to be a virgin FIRST.

Second,I don't know such a person needs a name:womanizer?

It seems that he forgets you.He hurts you,maybe one day,you need to hurt him.(but it's not a good way)

If he didn't know you did lots of good things to him,maybe he is selfish.He only knows what he only himself wants.If he never cared about you,I think...

If he hurts you all the time,MAYBE it's not good for you to still love him.

Good luck,I think I'll never forget what you said.it also teaches me lots of things,thank you.

[jane21]

What he did was abusive, He obviously does NOT care and respect you. Abusers will always abuse you as long as they can see that you still care about them. So in order for it to stop, you need to get rid of this person ASAP. I know, its hard because he's your first boyfriend, but you gotta look up for yourself FIRST. Do NOT let him walk all over you, because if you let him, he will take advantage and abuse you more. Remember this, If you don't respect and love yourself, then you cannot expect everybody to respect and love you. Show this guy that you're strong, smart, independent woman and you will NOT put up with his behavior. KICK HIM TO THE CURB.

[shortyrock12000]

When men behave this way its really because of themselves... there was not anything you could have done. it is not your fault. this man sounds abusive and disrespectful. someone who loves you wouldn't treat you like that. this kind of stuff happens to many woman... i believe is due to lack of education on dating and choosing the right man if you know who you are and how to draw boundaries and you take your time getting to know someone you can protect yourself from these type of disrespectful men. i think you should speak to a therapist and find out the deeper underlying issues that led you to be with a man like this and also to help you cope with the emotions that result from these situations. im really sorry this happened to you but you need to know its not your fault... you did not deserve to be treated like this or disrespected and not every man is that screwed up inside

[Elliot0_07]

He only did that because it's your fault. You're a female and you had to satisfy him. But since you didn't your job (giving anal sex to him) while dating, he had to force you for that. Just learn your lesson for the next relationship and move on.