How do you know when to give up on a guy?

[UkiePrincessa]

Okay so I've been talking to this really awesome guy for the past month and a half. problem is we used to talk for hours and now he sends me like 5 texts a day.. like he'll call to say goodnight but apart from that he's really distant.

I like him a lot...but I also know he isn't the best choice of guy in the world. but to me he's one of a kind.. how do I get him to start talking to me again? or should I just give him space and let him slip away..

I refuse to text him first.. because I can only do that so many times before it gets annoying...

what are your opinions?

[Mesonfielde]

Well Ms Fairy Tale Princess, if you don't show signs of allowing him to be more than just a friend, he won't attempt to be. And I think being texted 5 times a day is pretty damn much. You might just be oblivious to the fact that he also fell for you but you were stuck up with being a woman and never initiated and you were too selfconscious to believe it was possible.

But it's not your fault, people aren't mind readers, and at your age, they also have an irrational image about how people work.

[UkiePrincessa]

:O AT MY AGE! do you think I'm a child?!?! I've been with more guys then you can count on your fingers and toes! the last thing I haven't done is not initiate things with him.. HE KNOWS that I like him.. and if you think 5 texts a day is a lot..then well you aren't a girl.. since weve met there hasn't been a period of time longer then 12 hours we haven't tlked in..I flirt.. and he knows I want him.. his friends know I want to be with him..

at my age is the biggest insult you could have given me.

[Mesonfielde]

I used to be 16. I'm currently 18. I KNOW FOR A FACT that regardless of how "old" you might perceive yourself, the way you will see things will greatly change later on. So sure, you might not be a child, but you aren't fully developed either.

Also, congratulations.

[UkiePrincessa]

Mentally maybe not fully devoloped.. but I do know that 18 year old guys think way way too highly of themselves.. its why I stay away from them. as for maturity level..i deffinetly am more mature then an 18 year old guy.. I don't know about u... I don't know u.. but average teenage guy.. as for everything else devoloped..i caught up in the department a while ago.

[Mesonfielde]

Well, I cannot argue about that. I personally sometimes think highly of myself and most often I don't, so it's sort of hard to tell. :P As I said, the reason why I said all that is because I know from experience that people change a lot. But you have a lot of experience, so all I said possibly means nothing.

[hkygirl]

Im going to have to agree with you man. sweetie if he wants to talk to you, which clearly he does because, for a guy 5x a day is DEFINITELY a lot, then he'll text you. when you said you don't talk to him that much anymore I was thinking, 1ce a wk etc. but 5x a day is a pretty big deal for a guy. we girls are wayy different. we'll talk about pointless sh*t for hours and they......won't.he may be an 18yr old guy but he knows what he's talking about and to say, "I've been with more guys

[hkygirl]

Than you can count your fingers and toes on" that's not OK and I hope you didn't tell this guy you're into because if you did, I can guarantee he'll have second thoughts...if not second thoughts, only after one thing. occasionally, initiate it but that doesn't mean send him 20 texts a day. he might have work, school, etc. you have to remember you aren't the center of his life. I mean that in the nicest way possible.

[hkygirl]

When we get involved with a guy occasionally we forget that we both have lives so if his texting has cut down, don't assume it's because of you. he sends you 5texts a day and calls you at night? the guy I was engaged to didn't do that much..granted he was military but still...we love each other more than life itself and how much he talks to you I don't has anything to do with how he feels.it could be a sign but just because he hasn't called as much doesn't mean he's done with you.

[UkiePrincessa]

Thank you for offering your opinion.. and I'm not whiny because we don't text as often as I'd like. because trust me I'm used to that. My ex-bestfriend of 8 years was always coming in and out of my life because of school and work.. I DO NOT text him 20 times a day.. I avoid texting him at all because I hate feeling like I'm chasing him.. if I do want to initiate something then I know how to get his attention.. but at the same time I want to be myself. but as for the 5 texts a day..

[UkiePrincessa]

Well I know his schedual and he knows mine because our school has the same hours and classes are the same time.. I'm friends with a few of his friends and they text me way more often then he does now. and like I know he's a teenage boy..but it's like he's entitled to bring up other girls but when he does text me it's to check in on what I'm doing and who I'm chilling with. and no he doesn't know my past with guys.. he knows the bare minimal.. but we do have mutual friends in our circle of friends.

[UkiePrincessa]

Today he called me by another girls name...because some random girl called him.. he thought I had someone check in on him.......thats just upsetting.. I'm not possive..i give him space.. I think I might be better off just sticking to the type of guy I normally go for :S

[jcarr19]

Maybe give one last effort, or even tell him how you feel.. Some guys are just completely oblivious to signals girls might put out.. Give him a chance and if not let him know, and if it doesn't change.. Move on.

[Maggalicious]

when he's not chasing you...its okay for girls to chase what they want but if a guy doesn't show interest...move on. its better if the guy likes the girl more and chases her...btw Mesonfielde is right...at your age you guys definitlely have a distorted perception. I'm 18 but I've changed a whole lot since 16...what did I learn?! don't chase guys! if they really want you, they'll make it happen!

[MissAlexandra]

OH MY GOSHHHHHHHHHH I am in the same exact position as you. I don't know what to do either, I'm thinking about calling it quits. I even talked to him about how I felt, and he apologized and said he would try harder. That was a few weeks ago, and now I'm back to square one. Oh well, good luck! :(

[Sully109]

Me too! I hate it! But we've talked for a year and NOW he's pulling away. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID!...Or if I even did anything... But he doesn't want to date until he gets his car and I know that will take a while. He's worth waiting for but only if he wants "us" to work. You know? Funny how we all don't know what to do...

Actually it sucks. Big time.

[newpeace]

You are more into him than he is into you. You can not change that. When a boy is into you, he shows it, he is showing you he isn't. Pick up your chin, because there are a million "one of a kinds" out there.

[Anonymous]

He is still showing interest with the texting but you may want to be a little assertive. I know your still young but girls need to be a little more daring. What is the worst that can happen? A little embarrassment? I'm still a believer that we women are taking over the world and we have to understand there is nothing wrong with going after the guys we want.

[DeidreK]

I think he's just afraid of starting/ being in a serious relationship...He's either lost his interest in you or he's with or persuing someone else...Trust me, been there before...

[UkiePrincessa]

Thats what I thought.. he hasn't had a serious relationship in 3 years..and I think I scared him....

[DeidreK]

Yea, maybe...try and talk things over with him and tell him how you feel, he may come around...

[Anonymous]

If. He doesn't change leave him