Why am I so different from my peers?

[Anonymous]

not to brag but I'm a lot more mature than my peers, and I'm not one to fall into the traps of peer pressure, I'm very much my own person and make choices on my own on how I act. but because I'm like this, and also a little on the quieter side, I don't have many friends. lots of acquaintances but barely any friends that I can call up and hang out with or will call or text me and stuff. and also my luck with girls is slim to none. occasionally I get a girl showing me interest or someone asks me if I have a girlfriend, and I say "no" and they seem shocked, but honestly, I'm picky with girls for one, so I rarely find someone I want to go out with, but I'm also petrified of rejection. so I never really ask girls out. I only get girls that I don't want attention from after me usually.

but I'm really mature and I'm not as impulsive and obnoxious like most people my age and I just wonder why that is, or what made me be this way and not like everyone else my age. like how have I grown up so fast? so much faster than other kids? and I just wonder if my luck with the ladies will ever change. I'm told to be a good looking guy so I'm not sure what my deal is. thanks

[ClancyJames]

You are preachin to the choir! I am the girl version of you although a lot has changed for me. If you are in college hopefully the quiet, shy side of you will learn to mesh with new experiences and people that you meet. For me, the best way to not feel so isolated, quiet and shy was to make friends that were completely opposite from me. I'm not going to lie and say it was easy because it wasn't and more often than not I found myself not wanting to do the things they wanted but by meeting them halfway and stepping out of my comfort zone on occasion I learned how to hang with boys and make new friends without feeling nervous. After trying different things and being around different people I found myself becoming more comfortable and confident around others and a lot more easy going.

If you are wondering why you are this way my only explanation would be from some kind of circumstance in your life. For me, I came from a family filled with all kinds of drama so I became inclusive and kept to myself because I didn't want others to know, helped keep my distance. That mentality also taught me to rely on myself and not trust others so I became independent and was quite okay with it. But eventually there comes a time when you, like you are now, want to be noticed and are so freakin tired of being a wallflower that you think there is something you must be doing that is wrong. All I can say, is step out of your comfort zone a little and challenge yourself to get to know different kinds of people. There's a world just waiting for you once you are willing to embrace it.

[Asker]

im getting to that point I feel ever so slowly but steadily. my family has kinda been in shambles the past few years with my dad having to work internationally and its put a strain on all of us. maybe that's part of it, but I'm also have always been a fairly religious person. but I would be judgmental of people at times, but I'm becoming more accepting of others if they do things I don't necessarilly approve of. I've always been friendly to people but yeah. lately I've felt a little more respected by ppl

[bmxerwill]

lol you sound like me : ) . let me tell you a secret , its far far better being like this lol... : ) later on in your life girls will drop at your feet, 2 things are needed ...

1) confidence.

2) an older girlfriend.

i wasn't popular at school, I did bmxing that got me into the spot light a bit but it never helped with girls. I realized in school I was above peer preasure, didn't ever have the need to smoke because other people was doing it. for an example to prove myself and the people around me ... in college where most people are getting trashed on everything known to man I gave up ... alcohol, weed and chocolate in one day ... and I didn't touche them for 4 years ! its takes a very strong person that can do that. I am 27 I probably have 300 "friends" on facebook but I would only hangout with 1 or 2 , that's because I don't like lots of people I can barely trust, id rather have 1 I could rely on and it sounds like your the same ... go find some older mates. I did your get more out of it. especially an older girlfriend.

[Asker]

Like a girlfriend that's older than me?

[bmxerwill]

yer, girls tend to grow up faster ... mentally but if you find someone a bit older you will have more in comon. if your a strong willed person I bet you get annoyed by stupid little girls ... they arnt always like that they soon grow up... also if you found an older girlfriend you would get your confidence... trust me I know

[Asker]

yeah... sounds like a good idea. and yeah most girls annoy me at my age lol. anyways, there's this girl I've seen working up at the local athletic club, she's prob in her mid 20s but I'm only 20, and I hear she only likes to date older men, but I mean, if I'm mature and all, do you think there's a chance she'd see that and maybe want to go out with me if I asked? or is she a little too old from what you're getting at? lol

[bmxerwill]

mid twenties isn't too old...

my mate had the same problem , he 21 his girlfriend is 28 , when I was 21 my girlfriend ... for a time was 34 ! even if it isn't for ever it will help you alot. Its a lot easier to get on with an older person , they won't they to play you as they've grown up.

[Asker]

ohh alright... so I should go for it?

[Asker]

so I mean... how do you approach such a situation get an older woman to want to date me?

[bmxerwill]

go for it... its not like a younger girl , just ask them if they ever want to go watch a film ... hint a bucket popcorn, possible duvet, etc... maybe a walk. something nice and easy... my personnal favorite is the film popcorn duvet one as it lets you talk while giving both of you something to watch and if its a scary one she'll end up grabbing you in freight lol... but ask her what kind of films she likes ... if she likes everything get a horror/ thriller talk to her, girls are like guys