Can an Atheist and Catholic hold a relationship?

[Anonymous]

The two are completely in love and very compatible. They see each other everyday and have fun and otherwise a good and productive relationship. However, the Atheist is insistent on convincing her that God doesn't exist and her faith is wrong. She clings to old views and way of christian life. (Stays away from alcohol, no premarital sex, exc)

He holds to his logic, she to her faith. Can this relationship actually work?

Updates

+1 y

This is not a theist vs atheist debate. My question is can the two coexist together.

Updates

+1 y

Any and all drama will be removed. I don't care what your personal views are regarding religion or the lack of. Lets be mature and friendly, stick to the question.

Updates

+1 y

Once again this is not a debate of personal belief. I'll tolerate no stabs at either views. So watch what you write or it will be removed. Last warning.

To restate: Can two the people come together and make a relationship work?

[layla223]

I just want to say that I find it really sad how many people feel they couldn't be with someone based on religion.

I am an ATHEIST, but people seem to mistake all Atheists for ANTI-THEISTS. This is NOT TRUE. Let me explain:...

I don't have a faith of my own, I see things from the atheist point of view. I just don't feel that from all the religions I know that I can believe in them and id be lying to myself if I tried to become a member of one. maybe if there is a god, for whatever reason he hasn't chosen to show himself to me in any way yet, maybe in years to come I'll have some kind of realisation and I'll find faith. who knows right?! the future is unknown. and there is no point trying to convert me now because I just don't have that feeling of belief, and from what I know of the nature of 'god', he'll know even if I tried to convert id essentially be faking it, and that would not be healthy for anyone.

I have no problem with people having religion, I don't see it as a bad thing. this is what I mean about not being anti-theist. just because I don't have religion, it doesn't make me automatically against it. this is such a common misconception, but one that I understand because I have gone on to various atheist discussion sites only to find arrogant atheists making hatred comments and just being downright disrespectful. I hate these kinds of people as much as the religious people because they do not represent who I am at all, and yet its these idiots that dominate these kinds of atheist discussions.

I am more than happy to share my views and opinions and listen to others without criticising them, and I want the same respect in return. I love a good debate, but don't have time for people on whichever side of the fence that just want to argue and argue and force their opinion across!

As for my love life. I do come from a family of atheists, and my boyfriend is from a family of Christians. he believes there is something out there, I'm not so sure. but when you love someone you don't care about stuff like that, its certainly not enough to stop us being together. maybe some people won't understand how it can work, but it just does.

neither of us want to try to push our ideas onto the other, we love each other exactly for being who we are. and I hope more people in the world are able to overlook religious differences and concentrate on the love they feel for each other, because ultimately, if you have the love, everything else falls into place, even if its not right away and even if its not always easy.

[Tamikaze]

Your updates demonstrate the real problem with this relationship. It isn't the fact that he is an atheist and she is religious. The problem is that he feels the need to convince her she is wrong. So, much like the responders to this question who feel the need to debate who is right or wrong, a relationship where there is a struggle over who is right or wrong is doomed not to work until that dynamic is removed.

Couples need to agree to disagree. Relationships that are competitions to prove who knows best degrade over time. Love cannot thrive in an environment like this. Think about it. How much do you want to hang out with people that tell you that you are wrong? Not long.

If they can both truly let go and respect each others' opinions, it will work. However, if you harbor resentment and later it surfaces when you have kids and Dad won't let Mom baptize the kids or something along those lines, you will have big problems.

[selfishstars]

It can work, but not if the people involved don't respect each others' beliefs.

That said, it's probably more likely to work if its a relationship between two people who don't hold their beliefs very strongly. If you're a strong Catholic, it would probably be hard to date someone who doesn't share your views/values and someone who you think will go to hell if they don't start believing in God. If you're an atheist, it might be hard dating someone who believes in something you think is stupid.

[Asker]

THank you. That is a very well thought out answer. I'd also like to thank you for keeping your answer about the question at hand.

[SeeingEye]

Yes the relationship can work because you can't force Faith on a person.

It comes down to a test of needs though. I would suggest researching some psychology of the matter and of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Try and relate to his wants and needs and understand deeper.

On that same note if he is trying to dissuade the existence of a god and faith, than explain that he doesn't have to believe in god, but you do. That is your choice as an adult. If he can't understand this simple statement, than it cannot work because he cannot respect what you think and believe.

[bioweapon154]

Well, the only way I see it working out is if you two STFU about your religious or lack there off views and just stick to being happy and having sex. Don't marry if this is the case, by all means, that would make things worse. Especially if you happened to want children also. That would be a mistake. Perhaps pray to God for some help on this one. :P

[bubble_bobble]

"My question is can the two coexist together."

Coexist, yes.

Be together in a serious relationship that one day may lead to marriage... no.

If you're planning on just dating and enjoying each other for the time being, I think it could work for that.

If you're looking for a serious relationship think about it... this is someone you want to eventually spend you're entire life with, you're supposed to share everything with and who will be there as your support for every major decision you make. How can that work out when the fundamental beliefs who make you the people you are don't match up?

[Deep_Thinker]

well first things first faith comes after fact. as far as logic your Christian faith is far more logical than his atheism so don't let him pull any atheistic wool over your eyes. you keep strong in your faith and keep praying. show him that atheism is not logical and never will be. God Bless

[Oliviawinters]

Nor is Christianity. Nothing in it is proven - it's faith.

Parts of Athism ARE proven (read the God delusion) therefore it's MORE logical.

I am not atheist at all. I'm spiritual but find organised religion makes people stupid. Come on, Christianity is not logical. Faith is not logical. Jeez.

[Sparrowhawk]

Without meaning to start a debate.. Saying that a perfect universe is created out of chaos just by accident isn't exactly logical, either

[Deep_Thinker]

well said sparrowhawk, I did not see your reply olivia until now. Christianity is fully logical and this truthful. it is based on fact not just faith lets get that straight.Dawkins God Delusion is seriously flawed don't go buy him as to what or who God is or what is logical because he is anything but logical and does not understand Theology nor Philosophy.Atheism is a denial of any mind or design and goes against logic. in fact atheists have more faith than Christians.

[drpinky]

Well I think it should be able to work out. However if the athiest keeps pressing the religious one (or the other way around) then perhaps if even after talking about this it won't. If there was true love you would accept the person for who they are, even if one thinks the others beliefs are wrong. Especially with something like religion. To have a discussion on it is fine, just as long as it doesn't constantly end up as a you should be like me thing.

[Isobel86]

I agree with the above poster. For a while yes but when it comes to marriage and having children, things will become very difficult. I would want my children baptized in a catholic church, I would raise them in my faith until they become old enough to make their own choice. If both are willing to compromise, then maybe. But it should be discussed before things get that far because if both are unwilling to do that, it's going to cause a lot of pain.

[Samanosuke47]

Imo, It could work, but when it comes to those issues I think it would get a little rough. He should probably not try and change her views. Also if he's got a high libido, he should probably keep her as an option for possible relationship down the road. Because well yeah obvious reasons, I'm thinking she's not one to put out. lol

[Pancakes]

I'm not even friends with any religious people so I doubt I could be with someone romantically if they were Christian. I know this seems closed minded but religion is something that people are VERY passionate about and if they 100% disagree with the others beliefs they will no be able to coexist.

[scar1]

there is no reason why they can't as long as both people are respectful of each other oppinion and there isn't a clash of morals. the only thing I don't want manipulated into religion or anything else for that matter (not I plan on kids) but if it was a serious relationship I would concerned about this

[Arcanus]

No, it can't work. It will be causing fights, mainly because for the reasons for the lack of premarital sex. The atheist may feel that her god of choice is more important in her life than him.

And LOL @ the answer stating that Christian faith is more logical than atheism.

[Deep_Thinker]

of course it is. can you please state how atheism can be logical at all.

[d3vang]

To say one is more logical than the other is ridiculous... Whether Atheists want to admit it or not.. they are both based on faith. Faith in science to explain everything within the physical and sensual capacities of human beings. Or instead, faith in a higher power that put forth the world as we know it.

And that basic defining line of faith is what will cause tension in some people who are truly defensive of their position.

[Deep_Thinker]

well I'm glad you admit atheists have faith. I don't have enough faith to be an atheist because it takes an immense amount of ignorance to be one I think. however many Christians can be ignorant to of course but the point of atheism is demonstrably fallacious and illogical Christianity sir is not. that's the point.

[d3vang]

The creationism story has many "flaws" if you wish to look at them that way.. The explanation for how the universe was started on the Atheist side is surely still wide open and unknown..

[Arcanus]

No, I don't have "faith" in science. But if you still insist I do, then assume all modern science is wrong, and I have really no answer for the world around me. How does that validates your position?.

I didn't reply because the QA stated she didn't want an atheism - theism debate. However, if you're interested in having one feel free to message me.

[0ddjob]

It can work, but only if each respects the others' right to believe what they want (or not believe, as the cae may be), doesn't disparage the others' views and doesn't proselytize.

Otherwise, it will never last.

[d3vang]

I couldn't be with an atheist unless she was open-minded to converting... I would just end up trying to convince her time after time.

I also have a big personal problem with the atheist thought process.. So it would be a personal struggle aligning with her

[Deep_Thinker]

that is a very fair point

[Oliviawinters]

It's terrible to try and 'convince' others. Without evidence there's no convincing. I hate organised religion however, I'm spiritual (very). I would find it, however, insulting to have an organised religion etc forced on me.

[d3vang]

interesting that because I said convince that you immediately go to some kind of forceful missionary work of organized religion... I am not into organized religion.. .

What I meant is that I would constantly be in feud in why believing in a greater power is better than believing there is no point to life and we are a product of randomness and phenomena.

[Deep_Thinker]

i am Christian and against organized religion. there is also no compulsion in faith. love is grace not rape.

[Anonymous]

im an atheist with a protestant man. we don't bring our religious beliefs into our love life. anyone who didn't know wouldn't be able to tell what either of our religious beliefs were. its a shame so many in society are kept apart because of religious reasons. I truly believe love conquers all. its never been a problem for us, we just understand each others needs.

[Anonymous]

I can't offer any theory or opinion, but I can tell you that my parents have been married for thirty years. They get along great and are very loving toward each other, my brother, my sister and I.

Dad's an agnostic, Moms a Christian.

[bioweapon154]

What is agnostic though?

[Sparrowhawk]

An agnostic is someone who believes there might or might not be God, and requires solid proof before becoming completely convinced.

Someone whose values are in between an atheist and a religious person, I suppose.

[Sam33r]

Relations spoils not due to religion or beliefs but due to incompatibility and lack of respect.

If they have the will to be together then they can be, otherwise it doesn't matter!

[Blackkid2011]

Yes, actually. If religion is not a major issue and there's no particular clash of morals then there's no reason why it could not work.

[Thiezz]

No, it can't. Logic beats Faith, it's somewhere in the rock-paper-scissors rules.

[Asker]

Its not a question of theist vs atheist. My questions is can they coexist

[Thiezz]

That is for them to decide.

[Sparrowhawk]

Logic beats faith just like paper beats rock, right? So the next time I see you, let me throw a rock at you, and you defend yourself with a paper.

[Thiezz]

Trying to stone the heathen? I see you've truly taken the bible to heart.

[inevitably_yours]

I'm sure it's worked for some people, but it most definitely would not work out for me.

[chatforfun]

IF they really have mutual trust , this should be an ideal pair

[AgentWD40x]

It sounds to me like they are unequally yoked.

[Desires]

Faith is bs

[Asker]

Intelligent answer. Thanks for the comment.