Are friendships and romances mutually exclusive?

[Boppy]

Do you mentally sort people into "friends" and "lovers," treating both groups separately, or does a relationship with a best friend you're attracted to "evolve" into a romantic one?

My friends and my lovers are totally separate in my mind.

There is some overlap between my friends and my lovers.

[Hurlyburly]

Umm I can imagine a friend to became a partner in the future (me and my boyfriend have been friends for years). But I also do threat both separately as in if I had to name my friends I wouldn't name my boyfriend or maybe name him extra if this makes sense.

[Boppy]

I think it makes sense. Naming him extra is kind of what I was getting at, like a partner being kinda like a friend with extra romantic love.

Was there some sort of sudden shift where you began seeing him as a potential partner, or did it sort of feel like a natural progression in your relationship?

[Hurlyburly]

I was kinda attracted to him from the beginning but haven't thought much of it. But yea it kinda developed over time that we began to spend more time together, text and one day he just kissed me and asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Obviously I said yes 😅

[Boppy]

Hey! Sounds like a happy time.

[Hurlyburly]

It is 😊

[Boppy]

I'd put your response in the second category.

I'm hoping to see if there's a gendered difference in how people see friendship vs. love, or if it's based on something else, like personality or cultures. If there was a frequent difference because of genders, it may explain some of the "friend zone" and "rejected but he won't stay as my friend" stuff. I only have 2 votes, so... foo.

[morimeme1]

Separate, that is why I struggled with dating. If I meet a person in a friendly setting I automatically group them into friend category and re-grouping them is a mental challenge.

[Tannhauser]

Unless you've known someone since childhood, or you're incompatible sexual orientations, it's practically impossible for a man and a woman to be "only friends", without any potential or element of romance.