Why do some people always try to deflect the blame of their actions/behavior/mistakes onto someone else?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

We are all human. "To human is to error".
It's not always the mistakes people make I have issue with.
It's when people try to deflect/blame someone else instead of admitting/taking the blame for their actions or mistakes.
In my 47 years I've made plenty of mistakes that I will admit to, take responsibility for. I will not however take the responsibility or blame for someone else's mistakes.
And, there are some things in any relationship that can be forgiven.
But to work past it and salvage the relationship, well that can't happen if someone won't admit or take responsibility for their wrongdoing. That's bad enough.
But to turn around and try to blame the other person, that's so wrong If you consider yourself grown or an Adult, be "grown" or 'adult" enough to own up to your mistakes.

[Porcelaine]

1) they are spineless. they are afraid of the responsibility that comes with owning up to their actions and all the negatives that come with it
2) they are narcissists. they genuinely do not see anything as their fault, they always have excuses and think what they do is justified by some reasons
3) they are selfish. They might know something is their fault and do not fear the consequences but just don't feel like dealing with them so they project it on the first possible candidate

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Once again your wisdom shines through in your response. You have it dead on... Couldn't if said it any better. Thank you

[NightFlirt]

Because they don't want to take responsibility for their actions

[theCobbler]

Its because , No one wants? to admit they're:
Wrong
Made a mistake
Gotta put them diwn so i can get ahead
The "ME" generation
Givers & Takers..(. F'ing Takers )
Upbringing?

We are living in a society where no one wants to be held accountable...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Couldn't agree more. Especially the accountability.

[theCobbler]

Thank You ! Sad. ... isn't it?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yes I hate living in today's world. I don't fit into it, nor do I want to if it means compromising my princaples

[theCobbler]

Amen! I know i was born 200 years too late! Don't give in... there's too few of US to the Fight !

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Omg I've always said I was born in the wrong era. And thanks, I won't. Glad to know there is still decent people out there, just wish there were more. I really fear for the next generation as I think things are only going to get worse not better

[theCobbler]

Yes! the Human race is destined to Fall by its own Greedy-Perverse hand. ... All we can do is keep Shining our light in the Hope that other's will see it !!!

[ronaldo75]

Because this generation are immature and have zero self-accountability.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👏👏👍🏼I do see this more and more in the younger generation.
Older people more likely to be" yeah I fucked up again" or "Damn my old ass knew better"😀

[broken_heart_at_48]

I think sometimes it comes from their childhood for example my wife was spoiled and always the center of attention and it seems like majority of the town she grew up in always made a big deal of her. At least everyone I met still dodes over her. She not a bad person but she definitely shifts the blame everywhere else. A lot of the stories her family tells when we'd hang out was about her and half was about her always putting everything on her little sisters. There cute stories but I think that's where she gets it from. With me I've always figured on certain things if I know the truth about something important I would even confront her that way she wouldn't lie to me. One time their was a situation where someone was trying to contact me off Facebook and she started acting pretty squirrelly I believe she was nervous the person was going to tell me something she didn't want me to know but I already knew I just never confronted her. She was get worse so I told her just to listen and no need to respond. So I told her what I knew and have always known and I didn't care so not to worry. Well she started speaking I told her no need but she kept on and the final outcome after denying and blaming everyone under the sun except herself she said she didn't remember that week. I wish I would of left it alone because her answer did a lot more damage and no good. Of course I hate it even more than anything when they cry or throw a fit to divert the issue. It's a bad stall tactic that little kids try pulling

[Internarchitect]

I think it is hard to accept the shame of being wrong. Even if we agree that we are wrong, our brains will constantly search for a possible excuse. We may even accept an excuse for our selves regardless of whether we have admitted wrong doing. I struggle with this myself.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Well said, my friend

[Internarchitect]

Thanks. :-)

[bklynbadboy1]

I think everyone has a part to play there 3 sides to every story your the other party involved and the truth nobody wants to except there wrong that's just human nature but that goes for everyone

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Some people do admit their faults. I do because I know I'm not perfect I'm human...
If I'm wrong, I will apologise
If I make a mistake, I will admit it and try to fix. Some mistakes can be fixed, some can't. Some wrongs can be made right, some can't.
That's why think about your actions before making them anyway, but especially if your actions hurt others as well as yourself 🤷

[bklynbadboy1]

True

[BlckGrl]

Childish people deflect they're playing and others because they really just feel bad about themselves. So they want to make you feel bad about yourself so they're not in the same boat.

[COMMODOREII]

Because they don't want to believe they are at fault.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

We all have faults. Far better to admit, than to blame others.
That just makes it worse.

[COMMODOREII]

True but you can not change what people do. Lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No but I can choose not to deal with those people... People can only keep treating you bad if you keep letting them, this I admit I'm guilty of. But, work in progress.

[COMMODOREII]

Yep i agree.

[Anonymous]

They can't admit fault. Always have to own up to your shit.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly. I'm 'I'll take responsibility for mine, you take responsibility for yours"

[Anoniemus]

I know some do it because they can’t manage stress or feel like someone else is stressing them out.

Another is like you said: lack of accountability.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Accountibility I agree. Stress is no reason to blame someone else for why you lie, or cheat, or abuse someone. We are all responsible for the choices we make. I'm stressed, very stressed. But I'm still not going to cheat on someone or hurt someone just cuz I hurt But if I did, I'd own up to it, take responsibility, apologize.

[Anoniemus]

I thought this was about deflecting blame in general. People do it all the time due to stress which, if improperly managed, can be toxic in relationships. This is where you get people blaming each other or refusing to listen.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I do mean in general. But while stress might be contributing factor for choices, still have to take responsibility for how we choose to deal with it.
If someone is really stressing me out and I knock a couple drinks down. Is it their fault or mine? Theirs for stressing me, mine how I chose to handle it. Cuz could take a walk instead, or work out, or just not deal with that person. We're gonna have stresses in life, but it's how we handle it... And who we blame...

[GreenGold1992]

so they can play the victim

[Shamalien]

We are children

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Some more than others

[lena_matryoshka]

psychology of guilt 👍

[Liam_Hayden]

Lax parenting.

[Steve37]

Immaturity

[rockrewls]

Narcissism.