How can I stop my boyfriend from buying a motorcycle?

[Anonymous]

Okay so my boyfriend has been riding dirt bikes for years but has never owned a real motorcycle. He also doesn't own a car. Now granted we live in a place where the weather permits owning a motorcycle in lieu of a car (no winters) but still, I don't want him getting one. For one thing he won't be able to take me anywhere because I'm certainly not getting on the back of one, and also I hate the idea of him being out there on one because they're so dangerous. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep this relationship going if he does buy one. So how do I stop him? And please don't tell me it's his choice to make, because part of being in a serious relationship together means having to run major life decisions like this by each other.

[Anonymous]

He's gonna choose the bike. I just got into a crash with my boyfriend 10 days ago and we were on a motorcycle, a sports bike. We flew, i flew further than he did. I got road rashes, my hand is messed up, and it now leans to the side, i got scars & he got a crack on his skull, internal brain bleed and a broken rib cage and he flew less than i did. We are lucky to be alive, we went to the trauma center at the hospital and i was released the same day late at night, and my bf was released 5 days later, but he still wants to ride, he has his chopper to go fix his sports bike at his step fathers place and that's al he does.. he doesn't even use his car.. he's gonna choose the bike over you. I gave him the choice, me or th bike, he said bike, he said he's been riding even before he got into serious relationships, he's gonna pick the bike.. its his passion.. i told him i rater see him die by a random reason like old age, or a random heart attack, but not a motorcycle.. he said, he would be pissed if he didn't die on the motorcycle.. i don't even know if ima keep going with my relationship but just get ready for that... i told him, ima not getting back on either bike and he got mad and said he wanted a girlfriend who wants to ride with him... my best advice... if he picks an inanimate object over something that will be there forever.. then there's no point to it.. let him be happy with his motorcycle... there's other of fish in the sea.. but when he's 65 years old and can't ride motorcycle anymore and he's alone without a wife.. he"ll relize a girl will realize that at his old age, other than a stupid motorcycle than he doesn't have the strength to ride anymore..

[Cailleach]

His life, he can do whatever the hell he wants. Just because you’re his girlfriend, it doesn’t mean you can control/decide on what he does. You can express your opinion, certainly, but ultimately, the decision is up to him. If you’re worried about him not taking you anywhere, get your own goddamned car, or if you do have one, drive yourself, it's there for a reason. And motorcycles aren't as dangerous as you think. I've been riding them since I was six.

And if he can already ride a dirt bike, then he can certainly ride a motorcycle made for road purposes. Dirt bikes are made to go over rough terrain, and if your boyfriend does ride them over such terrain, then he will have no problem going over flat road surfaces. All he has to do is learn road etiquette and rules and then he should be good.

And if I had you as a girlfriend, and the decsion was you or a bike, I'd go with the bike 100%.

[Olya363]

omgggg why would you want to stop him ? so mch fun! you should just try it for once and you would love it!

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

You just like the vibrations, don't ya? :P

[JohnnyBlaze]

WZ is right - telling a guy that it's either the bike or you is a dangerous proposition. You have to be fully prepared for the possibility that he'll chose the bike over you. For casual riders, they may well give it up, but for serious bikers, the phrase "when you take it from my cold, dead hands" applies. Just be aware of that.

I don't think either of your arguments are going to sway him, and I'll explain why.

As for giving you rides, as much as the media may play it up otherwise, the truth is that we don't usually take our OL's (i.e. girlfriend/wife) with us, unless we're going to a party or on a road trip. Most times, when we ride, we want it to be just us, the bike and the road, so you not being willing to ride back-warmer isn't going to have much of an impact on his decision.

We know safety is an issue; crashes can happen at any time. There's a saying; "there are two types of riders - those who have gone down and those who will." Heck, you can even get a Broken Wings patch for your cut, to show that you've gone down and gotten back up to ride again. I earned mine last fall, and almost got them posthumously. But yes, even though it almost killed me, I desperately want to heal up so I can ride again. It's what we live for. If you look at my profile, I have a saying in there. "Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives." Until I started riding, I never fully understood that.

So the short of it is, tell him how you feel, but unless you're ready to lose him, don't give him an ultimatum.

[WeaponZero]

I don't know how old you are but contrary to what you may believe, this isn't something he has to run by you. Most guys I know who ride would drop their girl before they dropped their bike. Asking a man to give up his passion, his main hobby for you is uncalled for and only makes you seem like a demanding bitch.

[Olya363]

yep yep!

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

It's his money, it's his decision. All you can do is suggest he not get one cause you refuse to ever get on the back of one (I agree, they are dangerous, my supervisor lost his leg cause of riding as a passenger of a motorcycle) and tell him the dangers/problem with it. But if he REALLY wants one oh well. You shouldn't be forcing your boyfriend to do anything. And if you're willing to break up over him buying something he wants with his money, you clearly shouldn't be in the relationship anyways.

Getting a motorcycle is NOT a major life decision... your priorities are out of whack. I will agree that if he doesn't listen to you at all then that is a problem and, in fact, the key problem.

[FlightAuror2]

He'll buy the bike whether you want him to or not. HOWEVER, you will have a much better chance of changing his mind if you talk to him about it and state your case, and how it's about how you don't want him injured not because he's a terrible rider, but because other people can't drive, and whereas a car has four wheels to balance on and four walls to protect the people inside, you don't have that with a bike.

[hALLDAY]

If he purchases a motorcycle its for himself, not to cater towards your needs. Unless you are married, joined banking accounts and the whole nine yards... his money, his choice. If you don't want to be in a relationship because of some materialistic possession, then be shallow and leave. You want a form of transportation? Then buy one with your money.

[WalterRadio]

Tell him you don't want to be a girlfriend widow.

If he buys it anyway, dump him and find someone else who doesn't have such dangerous interests.

[watuneed]

Taking him to an emergency hospital and visit the spinal and brain injury ward and let him chat to some bike riders

[Anonymous]

if you're trying to "stop" him from doing something, you know he'll enjoy

you're likely not in a good relationship. couples support each other, no matter what

[nermalinda]

You're dating the wrong guy.

[Brand-O]

I think your boyfriend needs a new girlfriend.

[Swisscide]

The answer is easy: YOU CAN'T

[Anonymous]

U can't.