Girls! Do you believe in equality in your relationship? Like... If your man pays for lunch, would you pay for dinner? If he pays for the movie tickets, would you buy snacks? If he buys you a shoe, will you get him a nice suit? If he is having a rough day, will you help HIM OUT!!! 50/50
STOP expecting to be treated like A QUEEN 👑 while you are not treating him like A KING?
We already split everything 50/50. I do most of the cooking, cleaning, etc. don’t worry, my man is treated right and he treats me right. We are in a healthy relationship with lots of love.
I have a string of bad relationships before him. And I didn’t realize that I could be treated so well by any man. He’s a gem and I make sure he knows that I appreciate him.
Yes, but he doesn’t expect to get something whenever he does something for me that that is what is important. If you do things for someone and expect them to get you back or get mad if they don’t, that’s disingenuous and manipulative.
I'm not trying to argue, but how can you agree with this post and say that @MzAsh? Again not trying to argue, just don't understand how you can have both perspectives? For example if your guy takes you out for lunch as stated, he shouldn't expect dinner (which I get) but I feel you're implying that it doesn't even have to happen? (Which is the vibe I get from a lot if not most girls too) so how is that being fair and treating eachother equally?
A lot of girls I make this point to just laugh it off which is where I can see they are actually the disingenuous and manipulative ones... But if you have a genuine counter point, I would honestly love to hear!
It’s all about the intentions and attitude. If you do something nice for someone only with the intent to get something back in return then you’re being the manipulative one.
@MzAsh I would argue that's controlling in my opinion. To assume you can tell EXACTLY what's going through anyone's head when they do anything is naive, and if you are basing your reciprocation on that alone, I feel you are essentially saying you will decide as and when you will reciprocate.
Not trying to argue though, was just seeing if you could provide a perspective I hadn't heard or thought of myself on the subject but that was not the case! Hope you have a good day and thank you for answering :)
How is it controlling? If a man takes a woman out for dinner expecting sex at the end of the night, he’ll likely get angry if he doesn’t get it. That’s when a woman can tell that he’s being disingenuous and that’s her clue that she should probably move on.
@MzAsh I agree with you on that one, but it's a completely different argument. This post is discussing reciprocation. You shouldn't have to have sex for having dinner paid for, but if you agree with this post you should have to pay for the next meal or something similar.
From your earlier reply you would only pay based on your interpretation of his intentions by buying you dinner, which again in my eyes is controlling for the points i stated earlier :)
I would pay for the next meal IF I felt like it at the time. If for some reason I didn’t, and he gets mad about that, I wouldn’t continue seeing him. If he doesn’t make a big deal about the one time I didn’t pay, then that’s good. I wouldn’t deal with anyone who would expect it though.
You said: “you should have to pay for the next one.” No I shouldn’t. That’s the expectation to seeing it like you’re paying someone back. That’s so unromantic. A date is a treat. If I treated a man to a date, I would hope he doesn’t feel he has to pay for the next one.
@MzAsh, as you can tell from the reply above most men have dealt with this view of things. The issue comes when it's not just 1 time.. but the nice things you do NEVER go reciprocated, or very rarely... And as and when you feel like it... That isn't fair in my opinion and I'm pretty sure most men would agree :)
Yes, if nice gestures never go reciprocated over a longer period of time then of course it needs to be addressed, but I wanted to make the distinction between that and if it happens one time every once in a while because generally I think there's confusion about that. In so many years of marriage, I’ve learned the importance of picking your battles. Not every little thing should be made a big deal about.
@MzAsh completely agree there :) thank you for clarifying. I think everyone's threshold to what they will put up with in this regard is different but like you said if it's once in a while, anyone worth their salt should understand that people have their own issues and lives to deal with even in a relationship! 👊🏽
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