Boyfriends friends exclude me from gatherings yet invite the other girlfriends? Please give me some advice on what to do?

[Megannomiddlename]

My boyfriends friends always exclude me from their gatherings and parties. They invite the other girlfriends except for me and one or two others. I've never been rude to them and I've always tried to engage in conversation with them from time to time.

It's upsetting because my friends include my boyfriend in gatherings and parties. In order for this relationship to work long-term, I'd like to see some mutual respect from his friends towards our relationship.

Please give me some advice on what to do going forward?

Updates

+1 y

Hi all,

Didn't expect such a response. Spoke to my boyfriend who spoke to his friend, the friend conveniently 'forgot'. Is there such a thing as 'forgot' in this situation?

Updates

1 y

Hi everyone! I've just logged back on this after two years. Just as an update, the guy and I broke up. Too any of the ladies (and guys) begging for this, it doesn't get any better regardless whether you try to make his or her friends feel comfortable or attempt to get to know them better. Love yourself enough to walk away! Sending love and light! X

[NarutoUzumaki007]

you should talk to your boyfriend and tell him its either them or you

because its very rude. they can at least invite you to the party , no one is forcing them to talk to you

and it seems like your boyfriend is a retard as well showing up there without his girlfriend. If my girlfriend is not invited, I would take it as a personal insult and never show up to their party unless she is also coming

its your boyfriend's fault as well. make it clear to him that you demand reasonable respect and he should stand up for you when he can clearly see other gfs are there but you are not

[NarutoUzumaki007]

just like you have ensured your boyfriend gets along well with your friends
same way its your boyfriend's responsibility to see you are getting along with his friends. He has to be the one to take initiative and drag you to those parties , you shouldn't be the one asking to be included.

just talk to your boyfriend.

[__inkRat]

If someone will tell me those words its me or them, I will choose them. You think its insult not to invite SO, I think its huge insult and red flag to make choose between relationships and friends. SO isn't part of what you are, so it doesn't mean your friends must like SO or must want to see her.
I think its insulting to think I will take girlfriend with me where ever I go, I had life before her, and will have after her, meaning I dont need to take girlfriend with me where ever I go, or should she be invited to all events. Im my own men, I have my own friends, my own hobbies. I dont expect her to like them. I dont need puppy who gets pissed everytime she doesn't get to do same I do.
Also you cannot demand respect, you earn it.
About your comment, no its not his responsibility to babysit her. Guy should know where to draw line, but he isn't required to get out of his skin just so his girlfriend gets along at party she isn't invited to.

[LinaLuv]

@__inkRat the difference here is that it's not just a Normal hangout with the "Boys" which I'm sure this girl wouldn't even want to go to if it was going to be all her boyfriend's guy friends and there was no girls... buuuuut at these events the other girl friends are invited but she's not. So that is like a disrespectful thing on their part and her boyfriend to not invite her. If you don't understand this then you don't really get this situation and you probably also don't like having a close intimate and respectful relationship with women.

[Megannomiddlename]

@NarutoUzumaki007 if I could make you my favorite answer, I would. Your words are so mature and responsive to the situation, thank you! Your first response and comments are exactly my mindset. 🙏🏼

I've given my boyfriend freedom more often then not for boys nights etc, but this situation was not on and not only was disrespectful to my relationship with him but to me personally 🙏🏼

[KrakenAttackin]

It sounds like she is insufferable to be around.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I think that's extremely rude and fucked up on their part and especially from your boyfriend. I feel like maybe he has a side chick or something going on and he doesn't want anyone to slip up and expose him on accident. What if he's hiding something from you that his friends know about? Or of he's cheating and they know about the other girl or girls he might feel weird having you there around his friends when everyone knows what's going on... I don't know it could be something else but this situation is messed up. You need to talk to him about this. Be brave and stand up for yourself. We women more often then not let men take advantage and step all over us because we are afraid of upsetting or losing them but this time put yourself first and feel sorry for yourself. Take action and see what's going on.

[FunTastyLady]

Huge red flag! Have a talk about this not being normal... and see what he comes up with... and whether he makes any changes... if not I am sorry girl but you are wasting your time with this guy... run for the hills before he wastes more of your youth and takes more precious years away from you! Good luck

[FunTastyLady]

Still shady if you ask me...

[KrakenAttackin]

You say you have never been rude to his friends, but something sounds wrong. For some reason his friends do not like you.

[Megannomiddlename]

I have met them once or twice and engaged in some kind of conversation with them. I've even exchanged Instagram handles with them and they follow me and I follow them.

[Megannomiddlename]

So I have no idea what's the problem

[pervertedjester]

Maybe you're the real party or at least the one your boyfriend really wants to be at. So he could just be placating his friends by showing up to the parties. Or he may think you're too good for his friends to meet. Introducing my friends can take weeks of explaining beforehand and I am usually uninterested in making excuses for their behaviors.

[Kha0tiic_xo]

Talk to him about it, how are things supposed to change for the better if he doesn't know you feel this way, communication is key literally, in a relationship, there is some reason they don't invite you, like... your a new girlfriend, you seem snobby or you bitch at your boyfriend to much, always down his throat, if your new then show them they can like you, and try and get to know them, you invite them to a gathering switch things up:)

[lilyanony1]

It's a clear sign, you're not welcome unless resolved you won't last in your relationship

[lilyanony1]

No forgetting when inviting he would have extended the invite or perhaps your is at fault if you're a thing just bring you along. But it's tough sometimes it might be a boys night thing you know. People need to be clear

[chapawapa]

I say you leave in style *snaps finger* do it gurrrll

[sensible27]

If you're new maybe it isn't that much of a red flag, maybe they just aren't comfortable with you.

[SphynxUK]

Maybe he’s asked them not to invite you.
Perhaps someone else is also at the party...

[SphynxUK]

Forgot?
Unless he’s simple, he didn’t forget.
What a poor explanation... or is that just what your boyfriend told you? Did you hear the conversation?

[Megannomiddlename]

I agree with you wholeheartedly - it is a poor excuse for disrespectful behavior.
I was sent the screenshoots of the whatsapp chats between my boyfriend and his friend.

[rienna888]

you should talk to him and make sure he includes you in their activities

[not329446]

Speak up and ask what the issue is.
These people don't sound like freinds.

[COMMODOREII]

Why haven't you talked to your boyfriend about this?

[Despina98]

Sounds like he’s cheating. Maybe you need a new boyfriend.

[juliacavvy]

My boyfriend is doing the same right now and I keep pleading with him to see how it’s so messed up but he doesn’t get it. He says “they’re my friends”. I don't know what to do we have almost broken up twice over this.

[talulahbee]

Shouldn't it be your boyfriend inviting you along?

[genericname85]

leave the guy xD easy fix.

[jimmy2]

Dump him