My crush always invites me hang out in a group, will this lead to friend zoned?

[Anonymous]

but I already set 2nd date with her next weekend.

Updates

1 y

She forgot our date now we knew.

[DoctorSex]

It's bad news either way.

Most girls, even the super shy ones (especially the super shy ones) would like to spend time with you 1 on 1. If you were an amazing guy in her eyes, a rare gem, then she'd be protective and defensive over you.

Women are VERY competitive. It's far more likely she'd keep you far away from her friends but talk about you to them until she's formed a strong commitment from you.

Let's say she does like you, then these are worse signs. It is a clear indication of her decision making abilities or lack thereof. If she needs her friends to validate you first and assess you on her behalf, then she's a poor judge of character and you may find trouble with a girl like this later down the line concerning other men.

In this situation The emphasis Or the ranked importance in her life is:

1) What other people think of her and how she's perceived by others.

2) How she's perceived by you.

That's one of the worst positions to start a relationship from as a man. It would be like building your home on top of quick sand.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[RangerBlue22]

I would keep your guard up.

One good way to test her is to not contact her first after this “group” date. Sure do the group date if you can handle it. But don’t contact her first afterwards. Again wait for her to contact you.

If she doesn’t contact you then your friendzoned and she’s stringing you along (run). But if she does contact ask her for a one on one date. If she mentions bringing any of her friends along then again you are for sure friendzoned.

Your choice on what to do with that shitty situation. If it was me I would walk after that.

[RangerBlue22]

Saw your update. Sorry man. No woman “forgets” a date with a guys she likes. But you got your answer.

I know this sucks but on the bright side it could of been a lot worse. She could have thrown you “a few bones” just to loop you in to do all sorts of bullshit for her. At least you can cut this bs off before it got worse.

[Asker]

Thank you man, It's hurt somehow I even arrive at her home and she's sound asleep didn't remember anything, but It give me more clarity like you said and make me move on easier.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Not necessarily. Did you consider that maybe being with her friends makes her feel more comfortable than being out alone with you right now? Basically they're her "wingwomen" group.

Or her friends might be feeling you out. She might want their input on you. Believe it or not, some people put a lot of emphasis on what their friends and family think of potential partners.

Or you could just ask to hang out with her... alone? You know, like on a REAL date.
You said "crush" implying she probably doesn't know how you feel about her. So yeah, keep it up, you might fall into the friendzone.

[Asker]

from the pro/con, I think I'll go with Real date. Thank you.

[Lowiu]

One thing she might be more relaxed if its not a one on one situation so she wants her friends around or she uses them to get their opinion on you too

[Anonymous]

Sweetie, most women know if you're headed for Poundtown or Friendsville within 30 minutes of meeting a guy. While it is definitely possible to change paths, it's difficult. If you're on the way to Poundtown and stray, that's it, you don't even get to go to Friendsville, you're just dead to her. If you ever actually make it to Friendsville (even kicking and screaming) go ahead and get your mail forwarded because if you DO some how start towards Poundtown, it will be YEARS.

[A_Bell]

Yes. Likely.

If you aren't tag as a sex interest that spikes our heart and makes our knees week, we start to think of you as a brother. Sex will ruin the valued relation at best and at worse feel like a brother.

[RangerBlue22]

Thats why he needs to respect himself and disassociate from her.

The problem is you women are purposely vague and tricky about this in the early stages.

[Stay-hungry]

Have you told her how you feel?
she could probably be doing this because she likes you but doesn’t know how to ask you out so she asks you to join the group thing to encourage you to ask her out

[Asker]

Thank you, if it turn out like that it should be good. I didn't tell her, because I already asked her out (I think that it's like neon sign on my head from me 'I like you' ).

[Rania05]

Two possibilities here:

1. She's just being nice

2. She's interested too but shy

[RangerBlue22]

It’s never “nice” to friéndzone a guy when you know he likes you (and women do know 99% of the time he’s interested). Rather it’s cowardly and selfish thinking that he will accept being an “orbiter” for her own benefit.

To him that’s very insulting. He wants to be respected as a real man. Respecting him doesn’t mean you have to date and have sex with him. But respect is being (tactfully) honest about where you stand with him so he’s not wasting his time, effort, heart, money, hope, etc.

She’s now a liability to him because instead of wasting focus on a girl who doesn’t really like him he should be trying to date other girls who do.

When it comes down to it, it’s a respect issue not a sex issue.

[Rania05]

Then what do you think is definition of 'nice' when acting around someone that like us. When he hasn't confessed yet? I think rejecting him before he ask you out is harsh.

Sometimes I feel even breathing around whom like you is making them misunderstand.

Whether she's hinting it or making sure he likes her, it's honestly none of our business. I don't know why I was even answering this question when I never minded getting friend zoned by my crush.

[RangerBlue22]

He’s got to make a direct move somehow. He works with her which makes that more complicated. So I see where he is coming from there. Unfortunately asking out a coworker nowadays is much more risky especially if you are a man. But on the flip side if doesn’t do anything it’s a lost opportunity for both of them.

I say he should ask her for a one on one date and see how she responds. If she mentions bringing other “friends” he should have an excuse ready to cancel it shortly after it’s planned. That will send a message.

I’ve been in this position before and it sucks. I asked out a girl to get breakfast that I liked at my local gym. She smiled and said she had a boyfriend. I responded that I understood. She still wanted to talk when I saw her the next time but i kept it short and sweet. I do not want her thinking I am okay with the friéndzone but I wasn’t angry/rude either.

[SolitarySolace]

At least your crush actually includes you. My high school crush who I used to be friends with in elementary school before I developed the crush on her when we started middle school wouldn’t give me the time of day. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Dominique95glee]

It could but if they are no love connection on the other side lucky to be friends better than nothing

[dustybiker]

Depends on how you play it. Act around her. Etc.

[Anonymous]

If you're also dating privately, I would assume it's just because she wants to spend time with you and her friends. Are you in the same friend group?

[Asker]

Yes, we work in same office. but most of her friend is gay. Personally, I don't want to spend time with group of her friend because I fear of becoming one of her gaymale girlfriend. not her boyfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

I would omit that part lmao. If you dont want to hang out with them, then dont. You don't have to just because she wants you to. Maybe it's important to her that her friends like you, but that doesn't mean you have to go hang out with them all the time. Just tell her youd prefer to spend one on one time with her

[Anonymous]

It depends. You say you have a second date. Was the first date just the 2 of you, or were you in a group? Is the second date just the 2 of you or are you in a group?

[Asker]

For 1st date It's just 2 of us. But she became wishy washy so I did cancel until she reach out and I set 2nd date.

[Opinion Owner]

How did the first date go? And how did she become wishy washy afterwards? What is your plan for the 2nd date?

[Asker]

It went great, I let her do 80% of talking. except she brought up her all of past ex stories. She suddenly went hot and cold I think her ex might reach back of sth.

I plan for afternoon to dinner date, and I'll keep looking for sign and invite her out more. if she put me in friendzone, I'll plan to walk away anytime.

[Opinion Owner]

Did you kiss?

[Asker]

no, now i felt like i'm friendzone territory lol

[Opinion Owner]

It's not the end of the world on the first date. But make sure you go for the kiss on the second date. If she won't kiss you then, you're 100% friendzoned.

[Opinion Owner]

Whoa! She "forgot" a date? lol!

[Asker]

I'm Blown Off & Stood Up by her pretty bad, she even set this date herself. I'm not mad but kinda disappointed with her core. and she did offer re-schedule but unsure of her own schedule.

I think now I have to walk away and respect myself.

[Opinion Owner]

She set the date and then forgot about it? lol! Yeah--keep meeting other girls and setting up dates with them.

[TonightYouu]

Break things off with her immediately or start blowing her off and be super rude to here friends

we date women to get to know them not their friends

[Wise4myage]

Not necessarily. It might her a few dates to feel more comfortable around you. But if happens after several dates, then you should ask her.

[Anonymous]

Women fall in love slower than we do, so try not to rush it but feel free to tell her how you feel about her.

[Kiran_Yagami]

Lead to friend zoned? You are already friend zoned.

[nickaboy]

If you meet up it is you 2 only if not she not worth it

[boggboss]

Impossible to know at this stage

[Asker]

Thank you. I think I'll stick with one-on-one date. since it's better to build intimacy anyway right?

[boggboss]

But she might be trying to get the opinions of her friends on you

[jshm2]

You're being used, most likely.

[Jamie05rhs]

I always wondered about that as well.

[Heolurt]

You're already in the friendzone