Do you think people who keep getting into toxic relationships, do so because of their own bad choices or is it just continuous bad luck?

[thehorriblesheikh]

Most of us have come across people who again and again end up with toxic men and women when it comes to relationships, and complain all the time how their luck is terrible or how it's all the fault of the opposite gender.

From what I've seen, most of these people tend to be quite narrow minded, highly demanding, generally rude to people they don't believe have a high social status, you get the gist. These sort of people attract those who are quite like them, and end up getting treated the way they treat some others.

What do you think though?

I think it is because of their own bad choices

I think it is continuous bad luck

[btbc92]

Genetics, bad chocies and how they grew up.

If they have a family history where they have toxic relationships, then that is a generational curse, and that can affect a person depending on whose genetic they take.

Bad choices can simply come from anywhere. It can come from the influence of the family. The influence of their classmates or friends, even extended family. Oftentimes is due to social conditioning from the media. Like movies, tv shows, news, magazines, websites, novels, etc. I can also safely say demonic, because sometimes it may not be in a person to do it but it can be a demonic influence. Then you also have situations where they just simply do it because they felt like it.

But I believe most of the influences is not just those two but it's how the person grew up. If they grew up in a toxic home would it have a toxic lifestyle, and toxic parents, usually they end up being in a situation with it to start mirroring off what they desire based on what they grew up in. That happened to a few family members and friends of mine. If you not healed from The Situation's been sadly that's exactly what ends up happening. You end up becoming who you don't I want to be. And you end up becoming who you end up attracting if you aren't already like that.

[Hazelstar99]

We keep on getting into a toxic relation because we try to recreate that situation ( maybe we saw our parents doing to each other, maybe we share that kind of dynamic with our parentxmaybe some kind of past) and hoping that the outcome would be better this time. Hoping that we'll finally get over the loop. We date people out of familiarity. When someone keeps on getting into toxic relationship. What do you think who is the common denominator in all of these relationships? Of course the person who chooses to have toxic relationship. If someone has to get over that toxic relationship loop, that person needs to acknowledge the problem and whenever in the dating scenario he/she feels that he is getting into same dynamic. That person needs to leave.

[CallMeDave]

I think almost anyone can get into one toxic relationship, so I wouldn't assume anything based on just one.

If it happens repeatedly though, then I think there's likely something about that person that keeps getting them into that kind of relationship. It could be that they're attracted to certain characteristics of toxic people or that something about their own personality or behavior makes it so the only kind of person they can get into a relationship with is someone that's toxic.

Bad luck can happen once or maybe twice. After that, anyone that's paying attention and really wants to avoid it should know the warning signs and stay away from toxic people if they really don't want a relationship with one, so if it happens repeatedly I think that means something about the person is at least partially causing it.

[The6ix]

it could be both but i find toxic people are those who do stupid things and live life each day not really caring except for stupid things. I think you can someone is toxic by how they talk, what they post and where they hang out. If their social media is all about them, if they only focus their life on themselves without asking u how you are doing. If someone is kind hearted, doesn't live a weird life style and lives life not trying to show off to others that's a decision someone can make to not be in a toxic relationship. It is also the choices we make as well.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Call me cynical, but i really do think that it is more likely to get into a "toxic" relationship than a good one. This isn't just about "self esteem", it is about perfectly healthy people without the learned relationship skills to change an argument into a learning curve or about two people looking for similar (but not the exact same thing) with different value codes. We are so quick to blame others for not "speaking or communicating properly" and we dont consider how our own reactions could be viewed as equally harmful or at the very least unhelpful with creating the space for a healthy relationship.

[SjE78]

sometimes people get into a relationship thinking everything is ok, but later it turns toxic... not everyone willingly goes into a relationship with a narcissist knowing they are gonna be abused...
but after a while of the influences and subjected abuse... when they do finally get free they are used to being treated like crap, so many who try to move on too soon, often end up back in relationships that are just as bad, if not worse than the ones they were in before...

this is why everyone needs time between relationships to adjust to being single... accept being single, and then be comfortable with who they are... and when ready, then start looking but dont come across as desperate or worried about being alone... as this will draw the attention of yet more narcissists and toxic people...

[Nawlins34]

People who don't care about setting, respecting and acknowledging boundaries will attract that same type of person over the long-term.

People who DO value boundaries will drop'em as soon as they cross it, that simple.

There is no luck here and if it is, we "create" our own luck with choices.

[SphynxUK]

It’s not bad luck.
You’re making the choice to date them, probably overlooking the things they say and do because it’s early stages.
You let things slide as you’ve been them a few months, and then a few years down the line you start moaning about it because your not happy!

[Lliam]

I tend to think it's because they make bad choices and have personal issues that they haven't worked out. They, themselves, might be the toxic part of the relationship without realizing it.

[Andy_Lee]

Im not an expert but if that is a constant for that person, then it has to do with their upbringing. Something must have really messed them up, causing them to sadly be dependent on whoever it is, no matter that said person of dependency intention is good or bad. Unfortunately I think if someone found themselves in this situation, then it is the lack of being taught to pick themselves up and learn from their mistake.

[triff]

I've been unlucky in love but the reward I have is two wonderful children and now 2 grand children I live alone so I guess I will die alone but at least I have someone to say goodbye

[lemontart]

You may encounter good and bad people everyday, but to be in relationship and stick with them is a choice

[genericname85]

it's mostly the own character flaws or psychological issues that make people end up with abusive partners over and over again. it can be something as mundane as low self esteem.

[pleasestopthis]

Bad choices as they continuously feel attracted to the same kind of people and date the same kind of people over and over.

[douride2]

In my opinion life is all about choices. Unfortunately many people make the wrong ones time after time.

[MissSporty]

Toxicity may mean familiarity to some people, especially if they seen that same dynamic with their parents in their important developmental years.

However, if they see red flags and choose to ignore then its their own fault.

[British_Empire_1707]

The 2nd maybe just bad luck but after it bad decisions.

[bulletbob555]

Yeah i think we give off conscious and unconscious signals to people and people pick up and are drawn to these ceartain people good or bad

[imfreeze95]

I don’t leave in bad luck I believe in the consequences of bad choices. It’s a result of decisions you have made. Don’t blame anyone but yourself

[ThreeSheetsToTheWind]

There is no such as luck. It's likely a combination of things from poor judgement, low self-esteem etc.

[admles]

There's no such thing as luck, it's just bad choices

[legalboxers]

I was in a bad one.. and Im an asshole who wants back in...

[noleafclover_3]

Bad choices and low self-esteem. Bad luck has nothing to do with it.

[Siavash_1990]

Their own bad choices.

[Hanzyxw]

Bad luck

[austinbooth]

bad choices