Why do people stay in toxic relationships and hope things will be better someday?

[Anonymous]

Why do people, both men and woman stay in toxic relationships with no end to abuse for years thinking things will get better for them someday. Even when they find someone good they still think someone they are with is probably better. Why does people just go and find the one they love in the world?

I am talking about things where one hurts the other because marriage isn't about hurting each other but to protect each other and the children

[Rei02]

It is going to sound old, but remember Pavlov and the conditioned behaviour. In the end, we are animals, creatures with habits. We get used to the current environment and if we tried and failed in changing it, we become despondent, hopeless and accept that it cannot be changed.

The thing we need to work out is to overcome our fears: fear of danger, abandonment, being alone, get hurt or killed, or people whom you care as well.

Some are just in our mind and in reality nothing will happen, but some are real threats, and in that case one has to act smarter to overcome them, or someone from the outside has to find it out.

[Paris13]

I Can Tell You First Hand on My last One, hun. It Never Really Gets Better And Can even Worsen. Toxic And Vile At Times. xxoo

[Asker]

You bet

[Inbox]

Yeah, you don’t go into relationships trying to change the person.

[Paris13]

Thanks to Gag. xxoo

[AviatorTom]

Maybe because it's easier than breaking up and trying to find a new relationship.

Plus, a toxic relationship may not be toxic all the time... there may be good times too.

[rosemilk]

probably because their love for that person overpowers the way they are being treated. it's really unfortunate. or they're scared. if they leave, some have nowhere to go. their whole life will be turned upside down. some are married and it's even harder to leave. they have every little bit of themselves attached to their partner. or they feel like it's their fault they're being treated like that. it's a vicious cycle and one that's not as easy as it seems to get out of. and if they do get out, they will likely be threatened, stalked, etc. it's a long process that many people just feel like it's easier to stay.

[Joshydavid25]

Simply because they have gotten attached to the person but most importantly the idea of the relationship.. Abuse doesn't always happen in abusive relationships.. They are good times, and the person being abused gets a little taste of the relationship they want.. So they endure it thinking maybe one day it'll be much more like the glimpse they get.. They also somewhat get too used to the abuse and anything that's not unhealthy scares them. These types of people usually come from unhealthy backgrounds themselves..

[kmg9150]

There are many reasons for people to stay, but the cause of those reasons is us. Its behavioral psychology that creates the reasons for our actions. Its hard to that because the events that created the behavior are often buried deep In dark parts of our subconscious mind. Its said that from the time we are born till about 7 or 8 with determine who we are and how we behave for the rest of our lives, unless we go through some reprogramming therapy. Our brain is nothing more than a biological super computer, house in a mobile vessel….. most are set on autopilot…. Why the cycle reoccurs…

[Anonymous]

Been in a relationship for more than 3 years now and he’s always been toxic since day 1. He love bombed me in the beginning and now he says I’m a materialist person when I ask for the things he used to give me. Toxic, but I keep getting back to him and I wish he changes or he becomes the person he was when we first met. Sometimes lol I mean most of the time when I voice out my opinions I end up apologising if he doesn’t like what my opinion is. I still stay with him because he’s the only person I’ve ever loved and I don’t know if anyone can love me as much as he does. I also stay because I don’t know how to be alone. I also stay in this toxic relationship because I grew up with a father, who did not hug me or tell me that he loves me as a child, not putting any blame on my dad but I truly believe it would’ve been easier if I had a good support system.

[crystalline0909]

Because people don't give up on someone they truly love. Doesn't make it right either.
One can be in love with someone wrong or bad, that doesn't change the fact that they are in love and they will always hold a torch of hope for the other person.

[Leowolf13]

I dealt with this as the person who met a girl who was in this kind of relationship. We grew close as friends for a good part of a year, and she confided in me about her problems. Then we fell in love but she stayed with him. Even after I offered to help her start a new life if that meant I wasn’t in the picture either, she didn’t choose me or my help, she just stayed. I was broken hearted, it’s tragic and so hard to understand.

[lightbulb27]

many reasons. they have their own. Love can be a twisted thing. It's in essence... about control, is it not?

If daddy was an alcoholic abuser... then she may marry same kind... for that was her version of familiarity and love. Why leave what she loves... other than the ensuing pain?

That's just one example. Some people are very dedicated.

[Nikki1989]

Fear of being alone and a lack of motivation to find someone better.

[exitseven]

I always laughed at people but then i end up doing it too. I really thought that eventually she would realize that I was worth the trouble. I had a lot of time and effort invested in the relationship and besides I did not know if anyone else would ever love me. Eventually I broke up with her but it was a hard thing to do.

[abitcurious2022]

Each day you hope things will get better. Well my first relationship wasn't working out but each day I hope things got better. It didn't. I ended up staying for five years.

Another reason it took you a long time to find someone and if you leave you really don't want to go through that process of looking again.

[Lyndsielee666]

Trauma bonds are very real and hard to get away from.

[Asker]

Seems like it

[strateguy632]

because they are scared of change and loneliness

[syncheart]

Depending on who you are, and where your located, it can me extremely hard, or even impossible to find anyone who will even remotely love you.

[WhitneySnow]

They keep hoping things will get better

[Asker]

Saddest thought

[sheikalana]

Toxicity can be addictive for some people who never experienced non-toxic relationships.

[purplegage]

I think maybe it's what they've gotten used to and it's that they feel attached to this person, they can't imagine themselves with anyone else. It could also be that the relationship is very different and they know so much about one another.

[noohair]

The only person that you have any chance of changing is yourself. Most people dont realize that.

[kmg9150]

Right, you can't change anyone but it is possible to induce someone to change themselves.

[AndrewAzul]

Some people don't want it to get better they like the toxicity

[DreamLife7]

Mental illness, low self esteem, and no respect for themselves

[khyalove22]

I have no idea why people do this. But maybe they stay in toxic relationships, because they don’t want to let go or separate from the person?

[nicole411]

Because they don’t want to start all over again with someone new

[bededazzle]

because they have personal issues

[Al_Musafir]

Attachment and or fear of being alone.

[OddBeMe]

Expectations from families and religions,

[driven159]

afraid of being alone

[Kingofkings1992]

Because people are stupid

[kmg9150]

And you are people. Self projection ain't just in mirrors.

[Kingofkings1992]

No need take it personally. Go grab some Vagisil if I hurt your feelings

[Teabaggin]

They love the person