Is it ok for your girlfriend to travel with another guy?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this girl Ashley for about a year. She has this guy friend named Brad. She’s known brad for years. She met him because Brad was married to her friend. Brad is divorced from Ashley’s friend, Ashley isn’t even friends with that girl anymore , but she’s still close to brad. When Brad was going through his divorce. He and Ashley travelled to Dubai together as “just friends”.

I’ve met Brad. He was extra nice to me. Brad told me that he n Ashly are innocent, and nothing has ever happened between them. He’s always inviting us over. Now they might take another trip together.

I told Ashley that’s inappropriate, she’s gets defensive and says “I’m just jealous”. I haven’t told her yet. But I’m gonna break up with her if she goes.

The reason for that, is. I personally don’t believe nothing has ever happened between them. I mean travelling together after his divorce, he’s, emotional, lots of alcohol and partying involved. Second, even if they’re telling the truth and nothing ever happened. It’s still kind of disrespectful travel with another dude while you have a boyfriend.

Am I in the wrong? please give me your honest opinions!

Yes it’s wrong

No it’s not

[Nawlins34]

Answering your immediate question, if she's traveling with another guy? She's not my girlfriend. 1.) I’ve been seeing this girl Ashley for about a year. She has this guy friend named Brad. She’s known brad for years. Red flag #1

2.) She met him because Brad was married to her friend. Brad is divorced from Ashley’s friend, Ashley isn’t even friends with that girl anymore , but she’s still close to brad. Red flag #2

3.) When Brad was going through his divorce. He and Ashley travelled to Dubai together as “just friends”. Red flag #3

4.) I’ve met Brad. He was extra nice to me. - Out of respect for Ashley, so it doesn't count. Red flag #4

5.) Brad told me that he n Ashly are innocent, - Every innocent person I've ever met had one thing in common; they never had to tell me this, it clearly showed. I don't believe words, I believe actions. Red flag #5

6.) and nothing has ever happened between them. - Red flag #6

7.) He’s always inviting us over. Because inviting just her over looks suspicious. Red flag #7

8.) Now they might take another trip together. - ... to go be "innocent' somewhere else? ... okay... Red flag #8

9.) I told Ashley that’s inappropriate, she’s gets defensive and says “I’m just jealous” so instead of trying to see it from your point of view, she immediately defends him? Flag #9

10.) I haven’t told her yet. But I’m gonna break up with her if she goes. - Honestly? Drop the "if" and just let her go. It's won't get better because she doesn't go. I also want you to know... I threw a fist pump and said, "HELL YEAH" upon reading your decision.

11.) The reason for that, is. I personally don’t believe nothing has ever happened between them. I mean travelling together after his divorce, he’s, emotional, lots of alcohol and partying involved. Second, even if they’re telling the truth and nothing ever happened. It’s still kind of disrespectful travel with another dude while you have a boyfriend. - Remove the "still kind of" and I 100% agree with you on this. Also, you got this pretty much figured out, this is what I get for not skimming ahead. I broke this down as I was "live" reading.

12.) Am I in the wrong? Hell no!

13.) please give me your honest opinions! You already have it, I just want to say, thank you for knowing your self-worth/value.

Seriously? Drop her anyway. Her staying will not improve the relationship it will immediately deteriorate. You don't have to believe me, read the evidence you typed out: She immediately defended him and called you jealous.

You don't have to tolerate that, there are plenty of women out there who wouldn't pull this. Drop this woman, process your emotions, clear your head and go find that woman.

[Miristheiss]

Yeah, he should have dumped her when she traveled alone with him overseas the first time.
What the hell?

[RemoErdosain]

Don't take the results of this poll into account. You worded it badly. I answered "Yes it's wrong" as in "it's wrong that she goes with this guy", but your title says "is it OK?" and then the description says "am I in the wrong?", so who knows what people think that "yes" means when they answer.

Anyway, my answer to your question is this: You're MOST DEFINITELY NOT in the wrong, and cheaters will always tell you "you're jealous", "we're just friends", and all that sort of crap. This has red flags all over. Even if there weren't such a trip, what business does she have remaining friends with the ex husband of the friend that she's no longer friends with? Doesn't make any sense.

So yeah, you're absolutely right in your suspicions, and in breaking up with her. In fact, I would tell you to break up even if she doesn't go on a trip, because in my opinion she's totally banging that guy. I wish I would've had as much self-respect as you do when I was in my previous relationship, but I waited until I had proof of her cheating before I left. Should've left way sooner

[mamasan]

I'm not sure which voting option to choose because the title asks if it's wrong for your girlfriend to travel with another guy (YES) and your final question in the post asks if you're in the wrong (NO).

In my opinion, it's definitely wrong for her to travel with this guy, especially since she knows you're not okay with it. I would've ended the relationship after the first trip, to be honest. Also, if it's just an innocent, friendly trip, why aren't you invited?

[DizzyDesii]

Super unacceptable. Like either i come too or we’re over. Like he's not even HER friend. he's the soon to be ex husband of HER friend. His wife prob divorcing him because he chooses to spend alone time with HER friend 🤣

[Miristheiss]

Hell no I wouldn't let my wife or girlfriend travel with another guy.
She's an asshole for expecting you to be ok with this. Shows how devoted she is to you that she is asking you to trust this much and putting this much strain on your bond and plans to spend so much alone time, seeing exotic places with another man and bonding with him further through the experiences.

Have some balls.

I'd divorce my wife (I am married) or dump my girlfriend the moment she drove to the airport to start her little adventure.

[Miristheiss]

Many will probably take it that you must assume they'll have sex and that is the only issue.
Even if I knew for a fact there would be no sex I'd still divorce her. There is just a level of intimacy, closeness that is way too far over the boundary to be traveling alone for days upon end to a foreign place with another man.

There isn't a chance in hell I'd stay with her for pushing the boundaries that far.

[anonChineseMale]

I guess I'm the devil in this case? This just comes down to trust. And yeah, maybe there is sexual/romantic tension between the two. Address it. Talk to her about it. Nothing can be done if you already think she's cheating on you. Yeah it hurts, shit happens, and hopefully we can grow from it. Does she love you any less? is she actually leaving you for him? I can't answer that. But it is something to confront her with. She needs to know how you feel about everything. After talking about it with her, and she does love you and stay with you and says she's not going to cheat on you but still wants to go on the trip then...

It falls on you of what you make of it. Take the leap of faith and trust her? or End everything?

[RemoErdosain]

Of course she will tell him that she's not going to cheat on him but wants to go on the trip. Do you think cheaters tell you they don't love you and are cheating on you to your face? You sound like you've never been cheated on

[anonChineseMale]

@RemoErdosain okay

[MountAverage]

I'm sorry, but you're definitely wrong. You say you don't believe her. So why on Earth are you with her then? If you don't trust her, you need to break up regardless of whether she goes on a trip with him or not. Because without trust you can't have a relationship. And why don't you trust her?
And if you do trust her, then there shouldn't be a problem. Nothing "inappropriate" about going on a trip with a close friend. The only issue here is you. Either because you have general trust issues that you need to work on, or because you decided to be in a relationship with someone who isn't trustworthy. Whichever it is, you messed up.

[RemoErdosain]

You're an idiot for thinking that way. Good luck going into a relationship with that "it's all trust no matter what she does" mentality. When there's suspicious behavior, he's right to suspect, and going on a trip with someone of the opposite gender is inappropriate. Of course he chose wrong by going into a relationship with someone who isn't trustworthy, but picking the right person isn't as easy as it looks, and you shouldn't bash someone so hard for it

[MountAverage]

@RemoErdosain Are you retarded? He's been with her FOR A YEAR. If you're in a relationship for a year and still don't trust your partner, your relationship is shit one way or another. Either because your partner is dishonest or because you have trust issues. Either way, the relationship is shit.

"but picking the right person isn't as easy as it looks, and you shouldn't bash someone so hard for it"
- I'm not here to sugarcoat things, princess. Nobody said picking the right person is easy. It's actually very hard. But again - A YEAR. My god you people are dense.

[RemoErdosain]

I'm not saying the relationship isn't shit, what I'm saying is that you're a moron for saying he has "trust issues" when he's not OK with this. You can insult me all you want, but the fact of the matter is your words just show you're talking out of your ass. "Trust issues", yeah right

[MountAverage]

@RemoErdosain The moron here is clearly you, because apparently you can't comprehend my very clear and simple words. If you had paid attention to what I wrote, you'd know I never said he does have trust issues. I'll break it down for you once more:
Scenario 1:
He has valid reasons not to trust her on this. What could those valid reasons be? It must have been either something she has done before, or something about her in general. Either way - why on Earth was he still with her then? This is not a fresh relationship, it's one year old. If she hasn't done anything in that year to make him lose his trust, then what is the reason he doesn't trust her now? And if she has done something in that year, then why did he stay with her?
Scenario 2:
There's no valid reason for him not to trust her on this. She never lied to him, never did anything to betray his trust. If he still doesn't trust her, then he by definition has trust issues. That's his problem, not hers.

I'm not saying scenario 2 is the one that's happening. I don't know what's really going on. I'm only saying it is one of two options and that both options mean he messed up.

[RemoErdosain]

You're out of your mind if you think I'll even bother reading your essay, which starts with: "The moron is YOU, blah blah blah". You're like those little kids that when told "you're this", instead of coming up with a witty answer, they just say "YOU ARE". Damn, you're stupid

[MountAverage]

@RemoErdosain Ahahahaha, so you have no argument left, I see. :D And quite ironic how you whine about me acting like a kid for starting my comment with calling you a name... when in reality that's what you did. You started this whole conversation with calling me a name, you hypocritical imbecile! Haha.
Well, let me know when you are going to actually address the points I made in my last response. Otherwise, thank you for admitting you were wrong! :)

[Koalamate]

I think it's wrong even if she's not cheating she would be emotionally cheating as most mixed gender freinds do.
The only way I would let that happen is if it was a work trip or I was with them or it was a group trip.
In my opinion if they put themselves in a position that they could have cheated on you and you wouldn't know breakup with them.

[Andy_Lee]

yeaaaaa i mean it would be better if she opened the trip to you coming along. The same with her "friend". If neither of them has no done that then that should be a red flag. I'd say drop it if she can't seem to understand that. Partners often do things together and this seems to be pretty exclusive. Something isn't right about it and she might be lying about it not being anything more than what she claims it to be.

[Anonymous]

No I wouldn’t let my boyfriend travel with another girl and I wouldn’t be traveling with my male friend alone either. If he were to come with us sure but it could be awkward, so I’d ask another friend to come and make it a four people trip.

[Wise4myage]

She's definitely in the wrong here. Its not like this a business trip, where she has no choice. She should have the common sense to say no.

[IlluminatiExposed]

You're right in refusing to be a cuck. Even if they aren't having sex (which they probably are) it's emotional cheating.

[RemoErdosain]

Funny how you got two dislikes from speaking the truth. Probably cucks

[Anonymous]

100% wrong and I would also dump my boyfriend if he decided to go travelling with some other girl. That’s a no.

[Unit1]

Yeah, there is such a risk and it's not a small one😐. And it sounds like you don't trust her.

[mich15smith]

i think going traveling to a different country with some random guy is a bit much

[spartan55]

She would no longer be my girlfriend.

[Liam_Hayden]

It is wrong because you have an issue with it.

[Siavash_1990]

You are correct. She is not worth it.

[Tiffyk]

Depends what brad looks like

[dudeinohio]

You are right.

[postaldudePL123]

Wtf!!!

[Anonymous]

Agree with you.