Is it right for my boyfriend to travel with his platonic female friend since he has a girlfriend (me)? or is it OK since were not married or engaged yet?

Question

My boyfriend and I are together for a year and 2 months. We are very close and have met each others families plus we cuddle a lot and he's always very affectionate with me and all over me (even in public) and we do sleepovers, and we both love each other very much...

He also has this platonic female friend which he knows for a long time now (way b4 he met me). She always uses him to the maximum and asks him to buy her things and ask him for favors and she yells at him if he doesn't do as she says. She is a fighter type of a girl who yells ans she's very feisty (totally not his type and way too much of a fighter for him, plus she's of a mixed breed which he can't marry or bring into the family - he even said so himself, plus he has said that he would never marry her or date her).

I discovered that were planning a trip together to Quebec or somewhere around there (he didn't tell me anything about it - I discovered it myself, and I've met this girl and know about her and he has told me about her when I asked him)

Is it right for my boyfriend to travel with his platonic female friend since he has a girlfriend (me)? or is it OK since were not married or engaged yet?

tohrment · Accepted Answer

The only issue I personally would have with his behavior is the fact that he didn't tell you he was going on the trip. That isn't okay and it's either just blatantly disrespectful or he's trying to hide something shady.

However, from everything else you said it would suggest he isn't interested in her and you have nothing to worry about (of course your obvious bias should be taken into account). I don't think words like "allow" and the like should be put up with in a relationship - you're his partner, not his warden - and I don't think marriage changes that. At the end of the day he should be able to travel with his friends. If you have a problem with it, talk to him about it - ask why he didn't mention it, why he didn't ask you to come and/or explain that you feel uncomfortable.

Also, wtf @ "mixed breed"?!

samhradh_leannan · Accepted Answer

Trust is important in a relationship. But you are only human. If my boyfriend was planning a long trip alone with a female friend, it would definitely give me a pause. I don't blame you for being bothered by it- most people in committed relationships wouldn't do that. And it wasn't very considerate of him to not tell you about it, either.

I think you should tell him how you feel. It's reasonable for you to feel a little uncomfortable with it and it's only fair hat he take your feelings into account. Ask him how he would feel if you went on a trip alone with another guy. Maybe he will consider bringing you along or changing his plans. And if he won't, well, I guess you have to decide what that means for the two of you. You have to decide whether you can be comfortable with his behavior or not.

Freetobe007 · Accepted Answer

Hell no.

I would not allow that situation to take place.

Guys cheat on their girlfriends all the time and just because she has a boyfriend doesn't mean she's 100% happy with him and that she may not have feelings for your man. I've heard of selfish, skanky girls trying to move in and steal another girl's man all the time; boyfriend or no boyfriend involved. Wtf, why do they need to go on some exciting trip to a place like Quebec together anyway? That whole situation is entirely inappropriate and very fishy.

kholland65 · Accepted Answer

Even though there is likely nothing going on based on what you said, its still not right. It shows a lack of respect for you since he should know that it would make you uncomfortable, just as it would if you went out of town with some other guy. I also find it odd that he's taking a trip and not preferring to take you. If I had a GF, she would be the first person I would want to come on a trip with me.

katylaura · Accepted Answer

you asked about this girl yesterday - if you're that unhappy in your relationship and unable to trust your boyfriend, you shouldn't even be with him.

i voted C, assuming that he has never cheated on you in the past and there is no actual evidence that he is in love with this girl. platonic friendships do exist, and he's known her for much longer - why should he have to give that up?

UberTroll · Answer

"she's of a mixed breed which he can't marry or bring into the family - he even said so himself"

Wow he sure sounds like a winner... personally I think that whole situation sounds really sketchy. Why would he plan a trip by himself with another girl while he's in a relationship? And then why not talk to his girlfriend about it first? I think you should definitely talk to him about it if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think you're overreacting by having concerns over it. I couldn't imagine my boyfriend doing this because he knows if the situation was reversed, he would not like me traveling alone with a male friend. Ask your boyfriend, how would he feel if you did that? Also, if my boyfriend did, he would INCLUDE me in the trip. First, to ease my worries about him being with a girl friend and two, because he would want to have me around for such a fun trip. So, you can either try to get your boyfriend to see why it's upsetting, or maybe ask if you can come along?

Anonymous · Answer

Why's she got a hold on him? >:[

I wouldn't want him to go with her, why is he her friend, does he like her that much to tolerate everything else? or does he like that too? eh, it's just weird, I don't get it.

It seems alright but I just don't get the point so I'd say he shouldn't go with her.

carinabina820 · Answer

No. I would not feel comfortable with that, unless they were both going with family.

ManWhoDropsTheBall · Answer

He shouldn't be doing it, especially since he never told you. Plus its wierd. I wouldn't agree to my girlfriend doing anything of that nature and I've reinforced that thought process to her many times

Is it right for my boyfriend to travel with his platonic female friend since he has a girlfriend (me)? or is it OK since were not married or engaged yet?

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Is it right for my boyfriend to travel with his platonic female friend since he has a girlfriend (me)? or is it OK since were not married or engaged yet?

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