How can I 21M open up to my girlfriend 24F?

[techrat_2]

A little about me, I work and study in College, along with practicing Mixed Martial Arts in my downtime. I'm purely a hobbyist and have aspirations to be an engineer. Anyways, I recently got a girlfriend before the pandemic kicked off. Things were great in the beginning. But lately my girlfriend has gotten mad at me because I don't confide in her about the things I've been through. I was bullied for a lack of a social ability things like having shoes thrown at me, being shoved into closets and lockers until I fought back. I've also got a strained relationship with my dad, and my mother was very abusive to my mom and brother. My brother got addicted to drugs and alcohol, while I moved in with friends.

I've had girlfriends but they ultimately cheated on me after I trusted them with this info on me. As a result I became avoidant when it came to talking about my folks, past relationships and upbringings. Overall, the only form of loyalty I've ever received was from my friends and instructor at the gym. When I've gotten into bar fights, they had my back. My past girlfriends always left when trouble ensued. Overall, I've explained to her why I struggle to confide in others outside of my MMA instructor and teammates. But I can't name anyone off the top of my head who's actually been there for me through rough times besides my training friends.

Any thoughts? I do feel like I'm falling in love with my girlfriend but at the same time, paid the price for getting too deep.

[imanf7]

I didn't have a rough childhood like you but I'm like you , I don't trust people easily and I don't like talking about my life. I think talking should come natural and not forced. She should understand this , don't force yourself to do or say things you dont like. As I said it's a natural feeling , when you feel safe with someone you will do it naturally

[Anonymous]

If she’s mad at you for not telling her it shows she wants to know. So I don’t think telling her is bad. Also bar fights are not that nice even if she loves you, I wouldn’t want my boyfriend to be part of bar fights but that’s just my opinion

[techrat_2]

Probably should've specified a little more. I never got into a bar fights with any gfs I've had.
I'm just saying, my teammates have had my back more than any gfs I've had who claimed they loved me. Not gonna lie, I'm superstitious as heck. So, I figured if I opened up to my girlfriend things will go downhill.

[havingfun101]

She's probing for weakness and she'll resent you when she finds it. This is a mate fitness test. Either deal with your issues psychologically and thereby become invincible or tell her nothing. Confide in other men, not women.

[techrat_2]

hence the reason why I only confided in my MMA teammates and coach. Many of the guys at my gym I train at all have similar stories. My team is comprised of all men too. Never really confided in too many girls I know.

[havingfun101]

Are you for real? Make friends with men; the mma gym thing is an arbitrary barrier. You're really asking if she's like the other girls. Wake up!

[Avicenna]

Good communication is absolutely essential in a relationship

[techrat_2]

I'm aware of that, but I'm sorta stuck on a two way street. If she didn't wanna talk about something right away I'd respect that and back off for the time being.

[Anonymous]

Stay yourself and treat her sweetly. Keep trying to talk to her because sooner or later he will surely melt with your efforts to seek forgiveness from her

[AmeerX]

She is older than you. Trust her she will take care of you. She probably has mother instinct. Talk to her but do it in person. Don't feel weak

[Iron_Man]

Just talk to her nice and friendly you guys will open up sooner or later