How do young 20 year old girls get in relationships with 40 and 50 year old men?

[good-looking-geek]

I have seen some girls here post questions about their relationships with older men and with men who are twice their age. How do such girls end up with a much older man in the first place? What did he have to do to get their attention and make them actually want to talk to him? When he asked them for the first date, was it easy for the younger girl to say yes? Do younger girls (who have at least graduated high school) find it exciting to date a man old enough to be her father?

I know that 40 and 50 year old guys can still be good looking if they take care of their selves and maintain good health. But I am not sure if looks were the number one thing going for the older men. In some cases money is the answer, but money is not the answer for all such girls.

[archer86]

When you think about it, boys in high school have a way of acting like barbarians while older men are much more civilized. Younger men are trying to find their identity and careers while older men already have all that. Until our jobs get outsourced that is! Older men have a greater perspective on life, take things carefully first before going forward full speed and finally have the life`s experienced to have many answers. In addition, older men normally don`t try to get into your pants with such outward eagerness as younger men do unless he is a complete sicko. So in essense it boils down to this:

Car

Job

House

Money

Maturity

Wisdom

The cons is that I personally feel it is unfair for a young hottie to love a man who is already gray haired and wrinkling while she remains pretty and smooth skin for many years. In additon, the gap in knowledge and life`s experiences is too great for any relationship with couples with such a large age gap. Sex-flings don`t count here, completely difference animal. Finally, I want to be albe to go in public with my lover with pride, not feeling like a Dirty-Old-Man. I`m not Hugh Heffner and never will be

[AJtogo]

Don't be hating :) I love going out in public with my girlfriend and she with me.

[AJtogo]

From the older guy's (47) perspective, I have dated many younger women, the youngest being 23 and my current girlfriend of 4 years is 30. The other's ages were in between those extremes.

Like any relationship, the attraction is multi-factorial, and, as you note, physical looks and finances are a part of the equation but not the answer.

I do believe that there is a "being taken care of" notion with some younger women and I did experience that. Being ok financially and fairly well established in employment and the community were considerations in their attraction I'm sure. But this becomes obvious quickly into a relationship and I ended two because of that.

I think that the older guy is more confident in themselves and doesn't have many of the growing up issues (immaturity if you will) of the younger guy. This is a big plus.

Honestly, I think that the older guy appreciates the attentions of the younger girl (it is flattering to be attractive to younger ladies) and then treats them very well. What girl wouldn't want attention lavished on them?

[Simple-Simonette]

It was nice having a man that treated me so well. I felt like I didn't have to compete with anything for his attention, it was 100% on me. I've never dated a man that much older than me after that, so I don't really have a fair comparison.

[Brazilian-Girl]

Yes let's not lie.girls LOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE gentleman guys.of curse it means the man will spend some money on her.but I involves attention , caring, if he is affectionate too.

Im saying for me I don't want to date with a red neck guy who just takes me to drink beer in crap bars.( first because I don't drink second women should be treat well)

but if you think its just money its not.

I can tell once that I guy asked me out and he let me know in a discret way tht he couldn't pay for me and I go out with him the same way causeit demosntrated to me good intentions that he wanted to do but he couldn't and I went out with him the same way cause it was respectful.

So it not all about money its a goodtreatment that means you care and value a woman.

if I find a guy who doenst have money enogh to take meto the place I think I deserve but shows me a genuine intention we is willing to do this in the future and will effort for this.aaaaandddddddd if he were cute , affectionate I would take him even if he wasbroke at that moment.cause I'm visionary and I want a guy for my future who will be my friend and will care about me.

[Simple-Simonette]

I dated an older man 20 years older than me years ago (I was in my mid 20's). We met at my job where he was a supervisor (not mine). He initiated a conversation with me, I'm pretty sure he was attracted to me. Conversation led to lunch, which led to an exchange of phone numbers, which led to dating. I was very attracted to his aura of authority, his confidence and the fact that his life wasn't a mess. He was mature and good looking. He treated me like a lady, with the upmost respect - I really like that. Of course it didn't last, our differences were too great, but I truly did enjoy his company for as long as we dated. We remained friends for years afterwards and finally lost touch when I moved. Money wasn't a big thing for me, I had a good job - but he was a true gentleman who paid for everything.

[Akikosmile]

It's pretty clear that money was everything. You just hide it behind euphemisms like

'air of authority' and 'confidence.' You slept with the boss. Ever wonder why women don't have much respect???

[Simple-Simonette]

I guess if that is the way you want to read it, it's your prerogative. The man asked a question and I answered it, take it for what it's worth. As women not having a lot of respect - every woman I know in my life (including myself) get a lot of respect, I'm sorry it is not the same for you.

[coolguy93939]

Aww they say uhh.

. a black man is a pimp

Well let me tell you the biggest pimp

on planet motherf***in Earth, is her momma

It's her MOMMA that told her,

"Get a man that got a good job gurl!

Make sure he got a good car gurl!

Make sure he can take you out and buy you somethin gurl!"

What happened to just fallin in love with a nigga with a bus pass --

-- just cause you love the nigga?

But +I'm+ the pimp motherf***er!

I gotta be the player!

- EDDIE GRIFFIN

that girl said "a true gentleman who paid for everything."

i don't get it, how is paying for someone make

that person "a true gentleman"?

a gentleman is a man of good family, breeding, or social position

so I'm broke right and like the song "The way I are" by timbaland

basically describes my situation (cant buy no flowers, no car, no

big ol house, no money for date) now I still do gentleman stuff

like hold the door open, and all that other crap that I can't think

of now cause I'm typing in a hurry.

does that mean I'm not a true gentleman? I don't think so

i think most of them are just gold digging. but their obviously

not gonna admit it.

hey ill admit I don't hold the door open, nor let the lady

go first if she ugly. I rather have a nice view in front

of me

ima- og

[good-looking-geek]

I totally hold the door open for a girl with a nice ass just so that I can see her ass as she walks in front of me! Also if there is a nice girl walking beside me on the sidewalk I will deliberately walk slower so that she will eventually walk in front of me so that I can see her ass! Also in the grocery store if there is a nice girl who gets in line at the same time I do, I let her go ahead of me so I can stand behind her and look at her ass! I am a true gentleman!

[Simple-Simonette]

Him paying for everything didn't make him a true gentleman, he was a true gentleman that paid for everything. Juat wanted to clarify.

[melsmala]

You funny!!! I don't understand why some girls think guys who could be their fathers are a great catch. Honestly I think that a guy don't have to buy me stuff or have a set job just to make me happy as long as he respects me, treats me right, listens to me, is my best friend, and has a future in mind its all good with me. I don't need anything extra to clutter my house with to know when someone loves me, I just need trust, honesty, humor and love and I'm straight. you can't use money 6ft under...

[surfingthehorizon]

My ex girlfriend was a stunning tall bombshell who when in her mid 20's started a 3 year sexual relationship with a guy 20 years older than her. No exaggeration, she looked like a model out of a Victoria's Secret (one of the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on let alone dated) catalog and this older man was a balding ordinary looking guy (except that he was tall), who just got a divorce and moved back home with his parents (but he had a vacation cabin about an hour away which is where they would go for their sex filled rendezvous).

The only reason why I found out is because I happened to notice her receiving a strange text message on her phone (wasn't spying but her phone was laying on the counter and the message preview popped up). I went through her phone and found very sexual conversations between them. She was apparently still hanging out with the guy as "friends only" according to her and swore to me that they weren't having sex since she had been with me.

What's more is that we all work together and I knew this guy very well and had a lot of respect for him. He came across as Mr. Responsible and come to find out he was boinking the hottest girl in the office for 3 years!

Till this day I don't understand it, and she never gave me an explanation as to why a gorgeous woman like her would let her self be used for sexual purposes by an ordinary looking older pervert. All she says is that she regrets it terribly and would even tell me she found him gross (They why sleep with him for 3 years?) I guess everyone has their issues.. I still am friends with her but every time I think of what happened it leaves me feeling gobsmacked.