My boyfriend send and receives good morning and goodnight Snapchat’s from female friend everyday am I wrong to think this is inappropriate?

[Anonymous]

[tross4]

Let's think about it...

Getting good morning and goodnight texts seem pretty innocent really.

If he's starting to turn his attention towards any other girl it could be a problem.

And you will know there's an issue if he starts CHANGING. If your relationship starts to become more negative, there might be problems. But if, generally speaking, everything seems to be going well between you two, I wouldn't worry about good morning and goodnight texts.

Let's face reality for a moment. We live in a world where there's competition for our attention coming from all sides. We tend to focus on those people/ things that give us the most pleasure, stimulation and excitement in our day to day life.

That stimulation needs to be coming from YOU and not other women. So long as the best part of the "feminine attention" he gets is coming from you - you'll have nothing to worry about because even though he's talking to other women he knows he can only get that level of joy from you.

That's why it's important you learn what makes a man feel feelings of joy in the relationship, which leads him to feel committed to you.

If you're solid with your relationship with him, then it's all pretty harmless if you ask me.

[Asker]

Yeah suppose that’s one way to look at it! Thing is things haven’t been that great last few months for different reasons. I feel like sometimes he is different with me and things are not the same as before so probably why this bothers me more!

[KrakenAttackin]

No, it's not innocent. Who sends GM and GN texts to anyone they are not in a relationship with? Perhaps I am old school.

[RemoErdosain]

Yeah, that's way too much attachment for just friends when you're in a relationship. There's a huge threat of at least emotional cheating there. If they see each other in person, they're already fucking for sure

[RemoErdosain]

And no, that's not just being friendly. Trust is alright, but don't be stupid either

[Asker]

They had a thing years ago and apparently have just been friends since which I am fine with. I don’t mind that they send snaps everyday as I know most people do with friends. It’s the fact that it’s went from now n then to all this good morning goodnight snaps! Makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t feel he has any interest in her as we have spoke about it but I think it’s more on her. He says it’s not and it’s just friends

[RemoErdosain]

Just because he tells you he isn't interested doesn't mean he isn't. Of course he'll tell you that. "They had a thing years ago... have just been friends since". You shouldn't be fine with that. Those are some red flags

[RemoErdosain]

I know he's your boyfriend and you want to defend him, but don't make the girl the villain of the story: They're both at fault

[RemoErdosain]

In fact, if she's single, then he's more at fault than she is

[Asker]

Apparently she has a boyfriend too and he’s fine with the contact according to my boyfriend

[RemoErdosain]

Classic story. That boyfriend is as clueless as you. She probably tells him the same about you

[Espresso-Grande]

It is strange to do. I've had many good male friends over the years and my first thought on a morning has never been to message " them good morning" or a "goodnight" before bed. Hell, female friends don't even do that.


While it's okay to have friends of the opposite sex, it's still naive to ignore red flags. Anyone who says that it's okay, I guarantee, if they were in your situation , they wouldn't feel okay about it. It would raise suspicion.

He may be sincere and innocently messaging her, but she could have ulterior motives

It's a red flag in my opinion

[Asker]

Yes I also have male friends on Snapchat which I hardly ever snap. I don’t message any other guys friends or not morning or night. I said to him don’t think he would like it if it was the other way round and he just says I’m over reacting and don’t trust him

[Espresso-Grande]

You aren't overreacting. He's saying "you don't trust him" but he has given you a valid reason to doubt him.

The thing is, you have no idea what her motives are. So even if you can trust him, it doesn't mean you should trust her.

I've only ever heard of people messaging goodnight and goodmorning everyday, when there's a romantic interest. It's unusual for "just friends" to do that.

Who initiates contact?

[Asker]

I just feel like he makes me think I’m over reacting to something I know he wouldn’t like if it was me

As far as he says it’s her that snaps him first most of the time but he replies anyway.

He says she’s happy for us but I don’t think that’s true as he has her on Facebook too and she only ever likes or comments on posts I’m not tagged in!!

[Espresso-Grande]

I'd feel exactly how you do if i was in your situation. He may be sincere, but I wouldn't trust her. In my opinion, it's weird to text someone else's partner goodnight and goodmorning everyday. No matter how hood of a friend someone is, it's unusual to text a friend like that. He should take how you feel into consideration though

[iseekpinetrees]

I mean is he allowed to have female friends in your opinion? Because that's just being friendly in my book. Also why do you know he says this daily have you been snooping? Lol have some trust in your man without trust there is no relationship.

[Asker]

I don’t have a problem with them being friends at all, I just think that sending good morning and good night messages are inappropriate when he’s in a relationship. Never snooped on his phone he has opened the messages in front of me and also replied but it’s went from every now n then to everyday which I find weird. In my opinion

[Puppies1234]

No but just don't tell him it's not ok bc he might think you don't trust him or he might think your trying to control him.

[Asker]

It’s not about controlling him I honestly don’t mind the fact they are friends but just think that’s bit too much if they are only just friends

[Hangry22]

It is inappropriate. That's what you do with someone you like or your girlfriend

[Asker]

My thoughts exactly. He won’t see my point and never does. Basically I have to trust him whatever’s going on or end it he says as he’s not putting up with my trust issues!!

[Hangry22]

That's another red flag. People who cheat actually tries to blame it all on trust issues of their partner as in putting up a wall. Don't let it go. Ask him how he would feel if you do the same thing

[Asker]

He says he would be totally fine with it as he trusts me... but then he knows I’m not contacting other guys or hiding anything from him so he would feel secure about it

[MareBear93]

Its inappropriate if you express your discomfort with it and he didn't stop it.

[Asker]

Exactly I wasn’t saying he shouldn’t be friends with her just think the snaps every morning and night are a bit much! Different if you are single but I think that’s crossing boundaries when in a relationship and he doesn’t

[MareBear93]

Even if he believed its not he should care about you and your feelings.

[Drumlin2001]

Its unusual. How long have you been together? How long have they been doing it?

[Asker]

We been together just under a year. As far as I know they been snapchatting since before we met now n then and now it’s been everyday for like the last month.

[Drumlin2001]

So they not friends in real life? Just online?

[Asker]

As far as I know they used to meet up for coffee once in a blue moon not very often but this also caused problems in his last relationship! And as far as I’m aware he hasn’t met her since we have been together. It just concerns me now that in the past few months the contact has become more and more frequent and I personally feel that good morning goodnight messages everyday should be between the person you are with not other females whether just friends or not but just wanted to see what others opinions were as he doesn’t see it as a problem so why should i?

[KrakenAttackin]

How old are you? You know this is inappropriate.

[Asker]

Yes I defo think it’s inappropriate 100% just wanted to see other peoples opinions as he says I’m crazy!! 😂

[KrakenAttackin]

This is our fucked world of social media.

[Asker]

Sure is 😫

[Iron_Man]

It’s not right

[Asker]

He says it’s nothing and I’m making it more than it is. Friends or not I agree that this is not right. Don’t have a problem with them being friends at all but it’s went from every now n then to everyday and now this good morning goodnight snaps!

[Iron_Man]

It’s way too much don’t tolerate that