Would you ever delete your social media for your partner?

Question

Let's say there's someone you've been talking to or seeing non-exclusively, and you want to things to get more serious. However, when you bring it up, they say "I don't get into relationships with women/men who are on social media. Want to be with me? Delete your instagram/facebook/snap, etc."

Would you cooperate and delete or would you stop seeing that person?
Would their view on social media change the way you perceive them?

Personally, I would never delete my social media, especially since it's part of my business strategy. And if anyone ever asked that of me, it would be an instant turn off.

Arivor · Accepted Answer

Hey, I'm having some friends over to stare at their phones tonight, want to come?

Interesting... I guess it must depend on what you spend your time on Social Media doing. I'm kinda interested to know what you consider your social life to be. Since, for me, it's the actual time that I spend on Social Media that my spouse actually has a problem with. She has free access to anything of mine whenever and however she wishes to check out and even participate in herself.

Granted that can be a bit awkward when she answers a question or comments on things under my name, 🤣 The hilarious part about it is I wouldn't have a clue until someone replies to her answer thinking it was mine... then being notified and trying to figure out why anyone thinks I have a husband... 🤦‍♂️.

To cut to the chase... Yes, I have considered deleting my rather large number of SMS accounts... because I really love her and want to make her happy. It's hard though since I have had these accounts for so long and a few have rather large followings... That is the one I'm trying to wean off of by using this SMS site.

We have been married for over 28 years now, and we are way past the point where hurting her would be just be hurting myself. If she straight up asked me to delete them all... I would do it in a heartbeat! But she knows that for me to do that would hurt me and in turn hurt herself... so she never will... Knowing that, I am willing to acknowledge her concern and do what I can to make it less of an issue.

Floppy2112 · Accepted Answer

If you are getting more serious in a relationship and the partner asks you to start changing things about your self, like your social media presence that seems like a red flag to me. Requiring you to remove your social media account says to me that person is insecure and controlling, from the get. This person is trying to assert control over your life, already and you haven't been on a first date, officially as a couple. You're just thinking about getting together and there are already rules? I say run.
So if you want to be a puppet for a person with self esteem and control issues, knock yourself out.

The one caveat to the situation would be in an established relationship where the social media account is affecting your relationship, then the discussion about removing it is appropriate.
However, this is not that case. You're not even in a relationship and he's already drawing arbitrary lines in the sand? Are you going to bend to the next demand so easily?
This is the type of thing that breeds resentment in relationships. There has to be equity and rules and guidance for the relationship that are based in facts and truth, not made up conditions.
Ditch the bum.

simply_trash · Accepted Answer

That person who is asking for "you" to delete your medias has some insecurities that they need to deal with themselves. Ultimatums are never a route to take when it comes to relationships. The person receiving the ultimatum will begin to resent the person who gave it. Tracking back to the insecurities even if/when you delete the medias for that person it won't be enough since its something going on with their trust and not yours. There will always be something else they want you to delete or stop doing all together to help calm their insecurities till they find something else to take away. So therefore no I wouldn't delete my medias for someone.

AutophileAngel · Accepted Answer

Potential abuser behaviour. Personally I would never. i live abroad, 2,700km away from my family and am often homesick. Social media lets me communicate with them, and no man is worth more than my family.
Even if I wasn’t living abroad and didn’t need social media, I still would not delete just because someone told me to. If he feels more comfortable being with someone that does not use social media, then the doors are opened for him to leave and find someone who does not use them. So he can be comfortable while not destroying someone’s lifestyle. 🤷🏻‍♀️

pervertedjester · Answer

I'm not the best in dealing with ultimatums like that. If I don't end it then and there, I'll start to resent that person for every little thing they do that annoys me in the slightest. At that point it just becomes revenge/one upsmanship.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

Nope. My activity is already limited, but I can block her if she wishes.

Paris13 · Answer

Mine deleted this ONE, Hun, Because of Me. lol!!! xxoo

TruthBringer · Answer

Well, since I'm not so active on social media and don't have posts that can bring problems to the relationship, it will take a very insecure girl to tell me to delete my social media. So in that case alone it's a red flag. And I've dated one in the past.

Now imagine if I'm active on social media and am directly or indirectly inviting other women on my pictures or into my DMs, then she has more reason to tell me to get off of it. But then again, why would she get with a person who uses social media in such a way, to begin with?

I personally wouldn't get with a girl who uses social media in a sense to seek validation from other people. (regularly posting selfies, gathering as many followers as she can, throw a few sexy pics in there etc.) Because let's be real, people use them to get validation and a dopamine shot. According to studies, those who aren't (extensively) using social media are leading happier lives and relationships.

The only time I see myself remove social media is whenever I'm completely done with it myself. Or when we have made a mutual agreement to get off of it whenever we get engaged or married. Until then, she is free to have her social media accounts and so am I. If someone wants to cheat, they will find (easy) ways to cheat. It's not like forcing your partner to remove their social media will eliminate the chances of them cheating.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. I use Facebook mostly for business and some games, but I'm not on a lot. Instagram, I'm on mostly to check out cartoonists and support other artists. I don't follow Instagram models - that's not my thing. Twitter, I barely post, respond, or comment any more, but again, most of that is posting for business (and sisnce I get very little business, I don't post a lot).

Now, if I could farm out my business writing to a professional who knew my "voice" and knew how to promote me, AND this woman was somehow getting me enough work to where I didn't need social media, I could see cutting down... but I doubt it, and getting rid of it completely is out of the question these days (Besides the fact that I don't respond to ultimatums very well).

Like if she said "You're not to hang out with your friends (or family) any more," then we wouldn't be together. I'd understand it if everyone was on drugs, and all my friends/family were bad influences - sure, she'd have a point. But most of them are decent - and some friends are like my family. It wouldn't happen.

ThePinkKnight37 · Answer

Not a fan of the computer let alone, social media. I do not hate it or fear it. I do not think it is socializing. You can be anyone you want on a computer. Most people who hang out on social media are lonely people, looking for their fantasy world. So in short no, Because the girl I date will be into living life and not hanging out on her phone or computer. Because I will have met her in real life and not on a computer. But if she has social media that is her thing. I would rather walk away then deal with that type of person.

cunnilinguist · Answer

Delete my social media? What social media? You either have a life, or you have social media. I don't see why anyone should choose to read about what some stranger had for breakfast. How about you throw away that smartphone of yours and climb a mountain or something, I dunno, go for a swim in the sea. Have you ever had a walk in the rain? Lie down on the ground and feel the rain on your face?

Never mind, you'd just be taking photos to post on your social media, instead of being present in the moment.

Jjpayne · Answer

It depends on the level of relationship. We would have to be serious and committed for that kind of action but even then, a person that controlling is not good at the start anyway. There has to be freedoms and rights that both are entitled to and I think you should have a freedom and right to be on social media. But I will say this, if some relationships are toxic on their to you or you and him as a couple then it might be worth getting a different account and leaving some of those people behind. But again, you need to be careful here because I've seen far to many true life crime stories where a partner, male or female was separated from their family and friends only to be completely consumed and controlled by their partner too...

OmNomaly · Answer

Depends on what type of social media. Instagram and Snapchat have really bad reputations as far as cheaters using them to hide things.
I would delete all of my stuff or not use it. Funny thing is. I already dont use mainstream social media applications. It's way too toxic and generally just isn't all that healthy to use a lot.

I already allow my partner to go through my accounts if we've been together and need to build trust.
If you don't want to delete your accounts then I would allow your partner to go through them. If you don't have anything to hide then there shouldn't be an issue. Whatsoever.
Major red flag to me would be someone that didn't allow me into their messaging areas of their accounts.

Skankhunt · Answer

I'm not sure. I don't use social media often, so I can stay away from it for weeks. Can someone depand someone to delete their social media if they want a serious relationship? Yes and no.

Yes: Someone can have their own opinions, but that doesn't mean it's reasonable.
No: You can't ask or force someone to delete their social media just to be with you.
Compromise: You can choose to delete your social media or you can assure him/her that you won't cheat. You can also give your partner permission to see your social media messages (once a week, month etc) or something else. Meet in the middle

kaylaS91 · Answer

No, I wouldn’t delete my social media accounts.

I can’t think of a single reason as to why such a demand would be justifiable. Also, being with someone who gives such ultimatums, especially ones that socially isolate you to some extent sounds like a bag of red flags.

loveslongnails · Answer

As a non social media user, which means I check FB twice a year because of a specific event, don't use Insta, don't use Twitter or snap, etc, it's a non-starter for me. However, people I know use FB for many reasons, the very least of which is flirting. For some folks, getting their parents or grandparents to use it was a big accomplishment and that's how the family shares things when they don't call.

So, if someone said that to me, I'd say "don't catch your butt hole on the door knob on the way out". Now if you met on a dating app, I'd think you'd BOTH voluntarily get off it. Neither one should have to ask the other. But social media? No... kiss my ass !!

krysten02 · Answer

No. Absolutely not. They could absolutely hit the damn road. I use social media to keep up with my friends & family along with just having it because I want to have it. I feel like anyone that would ask for me to delete my social media is insecure and isn’t ready for a relationship to begin with.

Adam1978 · Answer

Partners requesting you to delete dating profiles are okay, social media must come from the owner, if you don't like people using them make that clear and don't date them. I don't like it, because it's a worthless timesink and encourage bad personality traits, ie addiction of hunting likes and follower counts.

Elsa143 · Answer

I'll run away and will stop seeing them. I'll also be linked professionally with my social media after some time.
What if he has double standards by having a secret account to stalk people but is trying to refrain me from using Instagram or Facebook?

Hobbert · Answer

I've been manipulated by some girl 4 years ago, I ended up quitting my job of 6 years, lost respect from majority of my coworkers and deleted my Facebook account that I had for 10 years.
In the end, she still left me.
Then again, she was a sociopath.

Everything happens for a reason, I found a job that I enjoy and met some fantastic friends and have a lot of confidence talking to girls and now we are good friends.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

Yes, I would.

It really depends though, on the specifics and such.

If you can’t do something as delete social media, especially for another person that could be your future husband, wife, etc.

Then what would you delete social media for?

Again... specifics matter.

thatchick1010 · Answer

That depends on how much you like the person. Also on whether they would make sacrofises for me as well.
I'd also ask them why they want me to get rid of it, am I on my phone too much? Do you talk to strangers or do you scroll cute animal videos for days.

I think it will depend on the reason, how attracted I am to said person and if they are willing to do the same.

proNutro · Answer

Nope. My family and friends all live over 10 thousand miles away from me so I use social media to see what they get up to. I get to see photos of my family and friends accomplish things or hit new milestones and so on. If I didn’t have social media then I’d have hardly any contact with family. Also, a lot of my family and I use Facebook messenger to message each other.

courtney06 · Answer

That sounds too controlling. I’d rather just be with someone who already doesn’t use social media and doesn’t feel the need to tell me not to. I would like to use social media less, so being with someone who doesn’t use it will inspire me. But them telling me to delete it is a bit much.

Would you ever delete your social media for your partner?

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Would you ever delete your social media for your partner?

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