Would you ever delete your social media for your partner?

Question

Let's say there's someone you've been talking to or seeing non-exclusively, and you want to things to get more serious. However, when you bring it up, they say "I don't get into relationships with women/men who are on social media. Want to be with me? Delete your instagram/facebook/snap, etc."

Would you cooperate and delete or would you stop seeing that person?
Would their view on social media change the way you perceive them?

Personally, I would never delete my social media, especially since it's part of my business strategy. And if anyone ever asked that of me, it would be an instant turn off.

Arivor · Accepted Answer

Hey, I'm having some friends over to stare at their phones tonight, want to come?

Interesting... I guess it must depend on what you spend your time on Social Media doing. I'm kinda interested to know what you consider your social life to be. Since, for me, it's the actual time that I spend on Social Media that my spouse actually has a problem with. She has free access to anything of mine whenever and however she wishes to check out and even participate in herself.

Granted that can be a bit awkward when she answers a question or comments on things under my name, 🤣 The hilarious part about it is I wouldn't have a clue until someone replies to her answer thinking it was mine... then being notified and trying to figure out why anyone thinks I have a husband... 🤦‍♂️.

To cut to the chase... Yes, I have considered deleting my rather large number of SMS accounts... because I really love her and want to make her happy. It's hard though since I have had these accounts for so long and a few have rather large followings... That is the one I'm trying to wean off of by using this SMS site.

We have been married for over 28 years now, and we are way past the point where hurting her would be just be hurting myself. If she straight up asked me to delete them all... I would do it in a heartbeat! But she knows that for me to do that would hurt me and in turn hurt herself... so she never will... Knowing that, I am willing to acknowledge her concern and do what I can to make it less of an issue.

Floppy2112 · Accepted Answer

If you are getting more serious in a relationship and the partner asks you to start changing things about your self, like your social media presence that seems like a red flag to me. Requiring you to remove your social media account says to me that person is insecure and controlling, from the get. This person is trying to assert control over your life, already and you haven't been on a first date, officially as a couple. You're just thinking about getting together and there are already rules? I say run.
So if you want to be a puppet for a person with self esteem and control issues, knock yourself out.

The one caveat to the situation would be in an established relationship where the social media account is affecting your relationship, then the discussion about removing it is appropriate.
However, this is not that case. You're not even in a relationship and he's already drawing arbitrary lines in the sand? Are you going to bend to the next demand so easily?
This is the type of thing that breeds resentment in relationships. There has to be equity and rules and guidance for the relationship that are based in facts and truth, not made up conditions.
Ditch the bum.

simply_trash · Accepted Answer

That person who is asking for "you" to delete your medias has some insecurities that they need to deal with themselves. Ultimatums are never a route to take when it comes to relationships. The person receiving the ultimatum will begin to resent the person who gave it. Tracking back to the insecurities even if/when you delete the medias for that person it won't be enough since its something going on with their trust and not yours. There will always be something else they want you to delete or stop doing all together to help calm their insecurities till they find something else to take away. So therefore no I wouldn't delete my medias for someone.

AutophileAngel · Accepted Answer

Potential abuser behaviour. Personally I would never. i live abroad, 2,700km away from my family and am often homesick. Social media lets me communicate with them, and no man is worth more than my family.
Even if I wasn’t living abroad and didn’t need social media, I still would not delete just because someone told me to. If he feels more comfortable being with someone that does not use social media, then the doors are opened for him to leave and find someone who does not use them. So he can be comfortable while not destroying someone’s lifestyle. 🤷🏻‍♀️

pervertedjester · Answer

I'm not the best in dealing with ultimatums like that. If I don't end it then and there, I'll start to resent that person for every little thing they do that annoys me in the slightest. At that point it just becomes revenge/one upsmanship.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

Nope. My activity is already limited, but I can block her if she wishes.

Paris13 · Answer

Mine deleted this ONE, Hun, Because of Me. lol!!! xxoo

TruthBringer · Answer

Well, since I'm not so active on social media and don't have posts that can bring problems to the relationship, it will take a very insecure girl to tell me to delete my social media. So in that case alone it's a red flag. And I've dated one in the past.

Now imagine if I'm active on social media and am directly or indirectly inviting other women on my pictures or into my DMs, then she has more reason to tell me to get off of it. But then again, why would she get with a person who uses social media in such a way, to begin with?

I personally wouldn't get with a girl who uses social media in a sense to seek validation from other people. (regularly posting selfies, gathering as many followers as she can, throw a few sexy pics in there etc.) Because let's be real, people use them to get validation and a dopamine shot. According to studies, those who aren't (extensively) using social media are leading happier lives and relationships.

The only time I see myself remove social media is whenever I'm completely done with it myself. Or when we have made a mutual agreement to get off of it whenever we get engaged or married. Until then, she is free to have her social media accounts and so am I. If someone wants to cheat, they will find (easy) ways to cheat. It's not like forcing your partner to remove their social media will eliminate the chances of them cheating.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. I use Facebook mostly for business and some games, but I'm not on a lot. Instagram, I'm on mostly to check out cartoonists and support other artists. I don't follow Instagram models - that's not my thing. Twitter, I barely post, respond, or comment any more, but again, most of that is posting for business (and sisnce I get very little business, I don't post a lot).

Now, if I could farm out my business writing to a professional who knew my "voice" and knew how to promote me, AND this woman was somehow getting me enough work to where I didn't need social media, I could see cutting down... but I doubt it, and getting rid of it completely is out of the question these days (Besides the fact that I don't respond to ultimatums very well).

Like if she said "You're not to hang out with your friends (or family) any more," then we wouldn't be together. I'd understand it if everyone was on drugs, and all my friends/family were bad influences - sure, she'd have a point. But most of them are decent - and some friends are like my family. It wouldn't happen.

ThePinkKnight37 · Answer

Not a fan of the computer let alone, social media. I do not hate it or fear it. I do not think it is socializing. You can be anyone you want on a computer. Most people who hang out on social media are lonely people, looking for their fantasy world. So in short no, Because the girl I date will be into living life and not hanging out on her phone or computer. Because I will have met her in real life and not on a computer. But if she has social media that is her thing. I would rather walk away then deal with that type of person.

cunnilinguist · Answer

Delete my social media? What social media? You either have a life, or you have social media. I don't see why anyone should choose to read about what some stranger had for breakfast. How about you throw away that smartphone of yours and climb a mountain or something, I dunno, go for a swim in the sea. Have you ever had a walk in the rain? Lie down on the ground and feel the rain on your face?

Never mind, you'd just be taking photos to post on your social media, instead of being present in the moment.

Jjpayne · Answer

It depends on the level of relationship. We would have to be serious and committed for that kind of action but even then, a person that controlling is not good at the start anyway. There has to be freedoms and rights that both are entitled to and I think you should have a freedom and right to be on social media. But I will say this, if some relationships are toxic on their to you or you and him as a couple then it might be worth getting a different account and leaving some of those people behind. But again, you need to be careful here because I've seen far to many true life crime stories where a partner, male or female was separated from their family and friends only to be completely consumed and controlled by their partner too...

OmNomaly · Answer

Depends on what type of social media. Instagram and Snapchat have really bad reputations as far as cheaters using them to hide things.
I would delete all of my stuff or not use it. Funny thing is. I already dont use mainstream social media applications. It's way too toxic and generally just isn't all that healthy to use a lot.

I already allow my partner to go through my accounts if we've been together and need to build trust.
If you don't want to delete your accounts then I would allow your partner to go through them. If you don't have anything to hide then there shouldn't be an issue. Whatsoever.
Major red flag to me would be someone that didn't allow me into their messaging areas of their accounts.

Skankhunt · Answer

I'm not sure. I don't use social media often, so I can stay away from it for weeks. Can someone depand someone to delete their social media if they want a serious relationship? Yes and no.

Yes: Someone can have their own opinions, but that doesn't mean it's reasonable.
No: You can't ask or force someone to delete their social media just to be with you.
Compromise: You can choose to delete your social media or you can assure him/her that you won't cheat. You can also give your partner permission to see your social media messages (once a week, month etc) or something else. Meet in the middle

loveslongnails · Answer

As a non social media user, which means I check FB twice a year because of a specific event, don't use Insta, don't use Twitter or snap, etc, it's a non-starter for me. However, people I know use FB for many reasons, the very least of which is flirting. For some folks, getting their parents or grandparents to use it was a big accomplishment and that's how the family shares things when they don't call.

So, if someone said that to me, I'd say "don't catch your butt hole on the door knob on the way out". Now if you met on a dating app, I'd think you'd BOTH voluntarily get off it. Neither one should have to ask the other. But social media? No... kiss my ass !!

kaylaS91 · Answer

No, I wouldn’t delete my social media accounts.

I can’t think of a single reason as to why such a demand would be justifiable. Also, being with someone who gives such ultimatums, especially ones that socially isolate you to some extent sounds like a bag of red flags.

krysten02 · Answer

No. Absolutely not. They could absolutely hit the damn road. I use social media to keep up with my friends & family along with just having it because I want to have it. I feel like anyone that would ask for me to delete my social media is insecure and isn’t ready for a relationship to begin with.

Adam1978 · Answer

Partners requesting you to delete dating profiles are okay, social media must come from the owner, if you don't like people using them make that clear and don't date them. I don't like it, because it's a worthless timesink and encourage bad personality traits, ie addiction of hunting likes and follower counts.

Elsa143 · Answer

I'll run away and will stop seeing them. I'll also be linked professionally with my social media after some time.
What if he has double standards by having a secret account to stalk people but is trying to refrain me from using Instagram or Facebook?

Hobbert · Answer

I've been manipulated by some girl 4 years ago, I ended up quitting my job of 6 years, lost respect from majority of my coworkers and deleted my Facebook account that I had for 10 years.
In the end, she still left me.
Then again, she was a sociopath.

Everything happens for a reason, I found a job that I enjoy and met some fantastic friends and have a lot of confidence talking to girls and now we are good friends.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

Yes, I would.

It really depends though, on the specifics and such.

If you can’t do something as delete social media, especially for another person that could be your future husband, wife, etc.

Then what would you delete social media for?

Again... specifics matter.

HawkPerception · Answer

No. I would not. I'm not doing anything shady on social media and it's a means to communicate with friends and family. If your partner does not trust you to be on social media, that's on them. Unless they have grounds to believe you are doing something behind their back on social media (in which case they should either confront the issue or not even be with you), there's no reason that you should be asked to delete it.

thatchick1010 · Answer

That depends on how much you like the person. Also on whether they would make sacrofises for me as well.
I'd also ask them why they want me to get rid of it, am I on my phone too much? Do you talk to strangers or do you scroll cute animal videos for days.

I think it will depend on the reason, how attracted I am to said person and if they are willing to do the same.

proNutro · Answer

Nope. My family and friends all live over 10 thousand miles away from me so I use social media to see what they get up to. I get to see photos of my family and friends accomplish things or hit new milestones and so on. If I didn’t have social media then I’d have hardly any contact with family. Also, a lot of my family and I use Facebook messenger to message each other.

courtney06 · Answer

That sounds too controlling. I’d rather just be with someone who already doesn’t use social media and doesn’t feel the need to tell me not to. I would like to use social media less, so being with someone who doesn’t use it will inspire me. But them telling me to delete it is a bit much.

angelgirl7 · Answer

To me that kind of seems like a red flag. I understand not wanting to be on social media, that's a personal choice and I respect it. But why do they want me to get rid of my social media? It seems suspicious to me so I probably would break up with them.

Kaneki05 · Answer

If that was tic tok then yes not like i use that anyway. But a person who don't date someone who has tic tok is.. right away better by miles.
But otherwise no, that's just a indicator of an abusive controlling person. I don't use social media much anyway so Ig it would be even more of sign them been petite and really controlling.

modelUN242 · Answer

Well, the guy I'm seeing doesn't have social media, but I only have Instagram for Art purposes and school, and Facebook for school and clubs. I also have very few friends and actually blocked the guys who were being flirty with them even though I thought they were my friends, but they were prob interested in me in that way.

Alyssa11 · Answer

I hate social media when it comes to dating and although I am well-behaved, I hate the debate around men following different women and liking their photos, and messaging them while they're supposed to be committed to someone else. I'd rather just not involve myself into that. So if a guy doesn't have social media, thats automatically better for me.

However, I think it's just best if we trust each other all round and enjoy the benefits of social media.

MrOracle · Answer

You mean my FB account that I haven't logged into for 3 years? Sure why not? I'd lose probably a dozen posts over 10+ years. Oh no! You might have guessed that I'm not a huge user of social media...

rjroy3 · Answer

I respect it, but I would not. Can't even see a context I would consider it because it seems unreasonable. Not even sure what she would need to be, say, do for me to think about it seriously.

To make an ask like that you need to provide a lot. Just bring my girlfriend doesn't cut it. I could easily have another girlfriend who would be cool with me on social media.

___nik · Answer

no, i wouldn't delete my social media for my partner. i think i have a pretty healthy relationship with social media, and them asking me to delete my social media right off the bat may be a red flag that they could be very controlling over me. i think i would actually avoid the relationship just because of my past with controlling partners.

pikachu337 · Answer

Yeah, I don’t care much about the social sites in the first place.

I am rarely active in Facebook or any other form of Social networks. So, I guess I would do it if she wants more time from me.

But ofcourse, not to the extent that I can't connect to anyone. I might keep necessary contacts connected via other means. Or something like that.

TeeBar · Answer

Given that the world's population seems to be crazy about social media interactions, your partner is rather behind the times. Granted the first move a female makes once she thinks she's reeled in a male is to get rid of his male friends and isolate him from as much social contact as possible. If a new squeeze tried that on me I would tell her to Get a rifle and "F*ck Off At The High Port".

broken_heart_at_48 · Answer

I would think that they have issues and are probably trying to cut you off from friends and family but if you're talking or flirting with a bunch of dudes on there or acting a certain kind of way I could understand it more but in that situation he should just move on anyways because it's not likely she's gonna change for him

JakeS00 · Answer

A definite turnoff. I would quit talking to them because that's a ridiculous request. What does social media have to do with a relationship if the person is loyal and faithful and has limits? I'm not going to let anyone be a hindrance like being on social media then want me to delete it for them to pursue a relationship. They're crazy for thinking that because I use it for a lot of things professionally.

Biancatsumi1991 · Answer

Why would I delete it for him? Social media is a great way to communicate with peolple you know, especially those who are far from you. If I delete my fb account, that means I lose the only means of communication with my old friends. So the answer would be NO, I won't delete it for him. He has to know that My world does not revolve around one person only. I have other friends too and I have family too.

Abtraction · Answer

lol, what's your business? is it like most of the women who exploit their bodies for money?
Also business existed before social media.

I guess social media is more important than a partner to you, sad.

don't forget to "SHARE" this...

vintagegirl90 · Answer

No I’d never delete my social media for anyone. It kind of removes my way of communicating with people outside of my relationship. I’d like to keep it going and if they aren’t okay well then it’s not going to work.

JKingOff · Answer

You can't delete social media. You can stop using it, but once you create a profile and make posts you can't get rid of what's already there. that's why people warn everyone about the security in the golf when it comes to social media and your public professional image. There you go. It has absolutely nothing to do with your would-be partner.

NoblesseObligeKK · Answer

There shouldn't be an issue as long as you're not one of the girls whom take random stalker picks of your boyfriend and post them. I had one girl from school constantly do that "Say hi to dean playing blitzball on TV!" *side butt pic of dean doing his thing*

- to the girls reading, dont be like that

AdithyaR · Answer

I can stop Facebook and I don't use snap but instagram is like my only methods to stay in contact with quite a few of my friends, I love reading stuff on Quora and I use twitter for keeping myself updated about stuff. I wouldn't be able to delete that.
Plus I need insta for memes.

magiusX26 · Answer

delete, no. once a complete commitment stop using most or all of them yes. i say most because some of my friends i only talk to via some sort of social media platform and my current job has its own non-public social media app we are required to use from time to time. as for still just talking and requiring a deletion would be an end to any dating prospects.

Finchie40 · Answer

No I wouldn’t , but I definitely could limit my time on it and barely use it , which I kind of do now , I mainly only come on when I am having my coffee or in the evening , but I can go hours without it

Hangry22 · Answer

If i love the guy and if he doesn't have it and we have a strong relation, i would do it. In this case, i won't because that sounds controlling and you never know if that relationship would last or not

Inquisitive3 · Answer

Yeah I would because social media doesn't mean anything to me whereas he would. Most people on social media are complete idiots, my guys wouldn't be one.

cjgsu · Answer

Nope, that's a first sign of someone who is controlling. The only way i can be with them is if i stop doing something i enjoy because they decided I am not allowed to be on it.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

No, I would still keep it. I'm not changing something like that for someone and let them control me.

If they want to be with someone who either would delete it or someone who doesn't use it, then I'm clearly not the person for them.

Screenwriter · Answer

When someone demands you change something about yourself for them, it's a giant red flag. That's manipulation. And if they ask for one thing, they'll ask for another until they control you completely.

Get away, to a planet far, far away.

V4mp315 · Answer

I opened my Facebook account when I became a single mother almost 3 years ago lol. And yes I've deleted it for my ex partner because I hate the issues we had for that reason even though I never go on my page or post anything he thought otherwise 🙄

imjustadude · Answer

Honestly, I am thinking they have insecurity issues that I don't want to have to deal with. This may just be the tip of the iceberg. Don't want to spend life a hermit so that would be a strong no for me.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I left GaG in 2018 for my partner but i came back whenever he pissed me off. Its the only form of social media i have but no guy can make me delete it. If im married, i’d delete in a heartbeat

Mystic_Nova · Answer

Nope. I do t really use personally, but when in bored I like to watch things on instagram or laugh with friends on snapchat.  I never give those up for a person

Newhead · Answer

Social media is the love of my life, so no. If your partner wants you to delete social media all together, this means you are a hostage. It is not good to be a hostage in your relationship.

slackbabbath · Answer

No I wouldn’t. I enjoy my social media and that sounds so controlling to even ask someone to do. I’d probably break up with that person as that is a huge red flag

Cataphract · Answer

I might. But if i do, i will make it clear that i expect the same favor from her along the road, no exeptions. P. S. Too long, did not read.

anonmon4 · Answer

not as an ultimatum with someone you have just met. that would be a major red flag. if i was in a committed relationship and they said social media brought out the worst in me (e. g. if i was becoming addictive and being inattentive) then i would likely listen

__inkRat · Answer

No, I dont have time nor wish to play jelosity games. Bessides only social media Im in is instagram, and considering to delete it to, as its becoming annoying with all sugestions. I get that they need to show ads, but in no way I support showing other account sugestions or random posts.

redscar · Answer

I'd not delete my social media. I won't get in a relationship with someone who wants to change who i am. Who thinks they have a right to manipulate my personality to their desires. I may decide to delete my social media some day, but that would only be on my own decision.

humanearth · Answer

I would never have one for them to delete. This site is the only form of SM i use.

And if they wanted to be a bitch about it. I would open more just to piss them off.

No one is going to tell me what to do.

FateSpeaking · Answer

It depends on the reason. If they just don't like social media - then no, I certainly wouldn't delete my social media for them.

If we were in a serious relationship and his job required a lot of security and privacy - be it for safety or any other reason - then that's a different story.

Koalamate · Answer

I would delete my snapchat as everything gets removed in 24hours and is shady. Facebook, insta, ext nope I'm keeping them. I'm not a fan of sharing passwords but they can login and look whenever.

Kuba-kun · Answer

Not really, for be fb is the main way to keep in touch with highschool friends. Tho I would not mind sharing the acces to my account if it would make the feel "safer".

jshm2 · Answer

That is a red flag as it hints at a control freak. Unless the person is shitposting or trolling, then I would never even talk about a person's social media.

Would you ever delete your social media for your partner?

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Would you delete your social media accounts for your partner?

Would you ever delete your social media for your partner?

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Would you delete your social media accounts for your partner?

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