Will my boyfriend appreciate that I waited for him?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating a guy for about 5 months now. He's studied for a career determining exam since before we met. When we got together, I asked him how often we would see each other. He said once to twice a week. Ever since, his parents have been riding his butt and I've been lucky if we have seen each other once or twice a month. Now... He's on the last part of his testing. He has 2 weeks left.

Will he appreciate me for the fact that I waited so long and worked with him/gave him space to study? Especially since I compromised with his original once to twice a week meet up? I'm just... of course nervous that at the end of all this, he'll take me for granted or not appreciate me. Especially since I've invested so much time and love for him. It would absolutely devastate me to the point that after this... I don't know if I'd be able to trust another man again if he dumped me. Especially since we talked about marriage, kids, and him seeing my family later this month and me meeting his next month.

[RedChaoticPanda]

It should be in the clear friend. 5 months and he's been doing hard school stuff. He should definitely be appreciative over you after the fact. That's how it was for me and mine. You were willing to wait and be there when he finished which shows dedication and loyalty. He will probably be all over that as you were there in tough times such as schooling.

[Asker]

Thank you, do you have any suggestions for coping while waiting/how you managed any sort of anxiety, and be supportive to him? How did you handle decreased communication closer to test time and not take it personally? And how did you stay strong and grounded in your emotions without burdening him? Not gunna lie, I get worried or insecure sometimes but I've tried very hard to hold it off and not add stress to him.

[RedChaoticPanda]

I will tell you it is extremely difficult. My anxiety was through the roof so I would try and throw myself into my own work, hobbies and just work through it. I have extremely bad anxiety where I need medication sometimes but there were times when I didn't have a dose and I could swear to the moon he was going to leave me and that the studying was another girl etc... complete nonsense. But he will appreciate the leveled head you can keep while he is working on this.. I had a knitting group and I would spend hours knitting and chatting to the other people of my knitting group to help relax myself. Same with a reading group etc.. Send encouraging messages here and there. Reminding him that I am here and am going to smother him with hugs and kisses afterwards regardless of scores etc.. that he can do this! And you are so proud, impressed etc over him.

But most importantly giving him the space he needs to focus as he will come back after it is done. Maybe once every couple of days to show him that he is on your mind and you support him. I used to also plan dates that I think he would like and wrote them down to give myself an idea of possible choices after the tests etc. What I did when he finished was get his favorite food, his favorite flower *purple carnation was his- *but only one. And whatever his favorite show was etc...

Surrounding yourself with friends and chatting about other things can also help distract yourself. Just two weeks right? XD you can do it! I believe in you. Video games are a helpful distraction. So are books and movies. Things that can help you pass the time usually make your anxiety cool off a bit. You can get through this!!!

How I managed not to take it personally was to remind myself that he is focusing hard to eventually get back to me. *even if he isn't it can be comforting to think that while not with him.

[Asker]

Omggggg I'm not going to lie! Same here and I take anxiety meds! To add he has a lot of female friends and hd wasn't the best communicator before! So... sometimes I also worry its preference over another girl versus myself. But I'm sure I'm just being silly too. At least I'd hope he'd dump me and not make me wait for nothing! Haha!

[Pete671]

Only time will tell, but right now his exams are the priority, not your ego!,,,

[Asker]

Obviously, hence why I'm not pestering him and asking on the forums for reassurance. I'm scared that he'll hurt me but again, I've been trying to be good and supportive to him. I just hope after all of this, he won't break my heart. I've literally sat my heart on the back burner for him. It's not an ego thing. It's a please don't hurt me and I hope this shows you I love you and makes our relationship stronger thing. I'm sacrificing my feelings and time for him. If it were my ego, I'd be asking something totally different.

[Pete671]

I apologise for misunderstanding you,,,
Imho only time will tell, perhaps he's focussing on the exam in order to be a good provider in future,,,