Was the ''forever girlfriend'' phenomenon common in the old days too?

[Anonymous]

I know the reasons seems to be happening for the past decade. There are some unfairness going on and if only one person benefits, then it's a risk for the other.

Was maintaining a relationship forever a common thing in the old days too; in which the girl finds herself being a guy's forever girlfriend and there are no plans of ever forming a family, no timeframe (or it gets postponed), no nothing? The relationship is only superficial; going out on date, living together, cooking together, go out hiking, frequent sex, romance, saying ''I love you'' to each other, etc but nothing serious... and it stays at that position for 5-10 years; going nowhere.

Updates

+1 y

I think some additional things favoring only one person is making it hard for relationship to actually progress. I've seeing this phenomenon in Spanish speaking couples too; 8 years wasted of nothing.

[abc3643]

In some cases, this was so because one or both partners got screwed in some way and so they don't want to or can't commit to (possibly for legal reasons) marriage again.

My mother is sort of in this situation. She is a widow and my "step-father" (they are not married) is a widower. They have been shacking up for 15 years because they both get medical / insurance / legal benefits from their deceased spouses that they would lose should they get married again.

Some women (or men) won't remarry for a similar reason - as long as they are divorced, they can continue to collect alimony which they'd lose once they got remarried.

[Goatmeal]

in my opinion this happens because women can date out of their league, so they end up with guys who aren't in love with them.

It is very politically incorrect to criticize women, so they grow outsized egos and don't notice that they're imposing on someone who isn't that into them.

[Asker]

I feel sorry for them when they think moving in with a boyfriend means it's closer to getting engaged. It's not. It's just living together; same trivial things mentioned on my post and nothing about the serious matters of forming a family. Those girls will find themselves 5-10 years in that same position; time they wasted for nothing.

[kyleelyn199723]

Well I am not getting married to my boyfriend, however we would be if it wasn’t for religious reasons and also I would prefer not getting married as I always been intimidated by weddings because people these days are more into the wedding itself than the actual being married part. I think being married is typically the same as a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. Marriage these days does not determine if somebody is committed. They are committed in the moment but that does not mean they are committed 10-30 years down the road

[Asker]

I've seen atheists get married too. People can get marry at court houses too. I do agree with your statement about people getting married for the wrong reasons. Those people got carried away by the wedding day itself rather than the responsibilities.

[kyleelyn199723]

We aren’t atheist, but to your point, I can see a regular everyday couple not getting married as absolutely ridiculous. They’re exceptions to everything and I think religion is a big one. At the same time, they’re plenty of married people that do not keep their word and sneak around on their husband and wives. I don’t think marriage determines whether you are committed or not. It’s a commitment for the moment, but not for the long run.

[taboomaster]

Olden days?

Up until 2000's, dating was mostly to find a someone to marry and build a family. Not anymore. That's why there are so many problems in society

[Asker]

It's a sad reality. That's the real purpose of a relationship; it's basically a trial period to see if you're compatible with someone and if that's whom you'll marry. Otherwise staying in a relationship for 5-10 years is really a dead-end already; there is no point. That's like a rotting apple tree that'll never produce apples; a tree that's there for nothing and will die out.

[taboomaster]

Only for you. The rest of us have health relationships

[Sam_The_Savage]

Forever come with expiry dates.

[Asker]

yes and that means a break-up after 5-10 years those girls wasted
That's the point in a relationship; it either grows and flourishes or it runs its course