Would you date someone 10-20 years older or younger than you?

Question

How many of you have dated someone way older or younger than you and what was your experience with them, what did you take from the relationship positive and negative and what advice would you give someone in a relationship with a relatively big age gap

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

My boyfriend (whom I have been dating for about 6 months now) is actually 22 years older than me. I have a LOT of thoughts on this, so this will be a long post

The relationship I have with my boyfriend is easily best relationship I've ever had in my life. I think a major reason (although clearly not the only reason) why it's been the best relationship of my life is actually BECAUSE he's so much older. I had 4 boyfriends my age before my current boyfriend. However, in each case they were far too immature to be good relationship material. They often aren't interested in ever getting into a real committed relationship. They're not really interested For a lot of them the 'relationship' was more of a job they had to do in order to get to the 'sex', and when we did have sex my pleasure wasn't much of a priority to them. I also many of them are prone to cheating. (I'm not saying all guys my age are like this, but a lot of them are. My BFs were (to varying degrees) pretty much all that way).
HOWEVER, my boyfriend is very much the opposite of that. He's drastically more mature then the other losers I dated. Despite being way busier than any of the other dorks I dated he always manages to make time for our relationship. I didn't have to hound him about wanting more commitment. He wanted to be in a committed relationship with me/completely committed totally on his own. He goes out of his way to do super nice things he doesn't have to do. Moreover, when I pretty much denied him sex for the first 3 months of our relationship (as I was trying to make sure he wanted to stay for reasons beyond just sex) he was completely cool and supportive about it (even though I could tell he wanted it super bad). He told me he was willing to wait as long as it took because being with me was worth the wait without question. When we did have sex he wasn't selfish. My sexual needs are a major priority for him in bed. Consequently it's easily the best sex I've ever had. In fact, I can pretty confidently say I want sex even more then he does (which is a first for me in the relationship world)

The only negative I can think of from dating someone so much older is the societal judgement that often comes with it. It does sometimes bother me, but I've learned to just let it roll off my back and dismiss it as a bunch of people who don't understand (or may even be jealous). I often give him a massive, sexy smooch whenever I can tell someone is judging us for the age gap. That's always a lot of fun!
However, when it in our family it was more difficult. My parents flipped out when they first heard I was dating a way older guy. Dealing with that was hard. However, over time (and with a lot of patience) they eventually figured out that he wasn't just using me/taking advantage of me but really cared about me. They also figured out that we're actually really great for each other even if we have a massive age gap. His parents flipped out too, but they weren't quite as over the top with it and actually accepted me fairly quickly. He still has a sister that thinks it's really weird, but she's more or less accepted it and is still pretty friendly to me.
It also was a bit nerve racking when I first met his kids, but I think that probably happens with anyone dating a single parent regardless of the age difference. I actually get along pretty great with his kids, so it all turned out OK for me.

I finally found someone (in my boyfriend) who loves and cares for me like no one ever has before. I am so lucky to have him- he means the world to me. Again, I think that it in part is due to older men being more mature and more interested in real committed monogamist relationships. Again, I'm sure there are exceptions both ways, but I also think there's a strong pattern there.

nella965 · Accepted Answer

Statistically the bigger the age difference , the higher the chance of divorce.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/phys.org/news/2017-08-spousal-age-gap-affects-marriage.amp

Over time, the people who are married to a much older or younger spouse tend to have larger declines in marital satisfaction over time compared to those who are married to spouseswho are similar in age," said McKinnish, who is also a research associate at the Institute of Labor Economics (IZA) in Germany.

Browneye57 · Accepted Answer

Women are considerably more mature by age then men, so that's why it's common to see the guy a few years or more older.
An older woman will never properly respect a younger guy - she's just way ahead of him in life experience, maturity, culture, etc. She might enjoy doing him, but an LTR is extremely rare cuz she'll just never properly respect him, be in awe of him. She'll always think less of him. Some women like to feel superior, so they'll date way down, instead of an equal, or someone superior. In many cases, she gets bored and goes looking for CHAD THUNDERCOCK.

For the younger set, up to thirty or so, five to ten years is common. For forty and over up to twenty years. But a severe mis-match just never quite works like you want or thing it should.

bamesjond0069 · Accepted Answer

I had sex with much older women before. Mainly when i was a bit younger. Dating I've been in a few relationships and casually dated quite a few girls 10+ years younger. The biggest gap being 16 years.

In my experience age gaps for casual sex are meaningless if its just sex fuck any legal age you want. For relationships id strongly encourage it to only be older men and younger woman. A 16 year gap was no big deal. It works great because we had so much in common. The other way around there isn't much in common with the older woman. Im not talking about movies and music but life goals values and things like that, child planning etc.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Yes to 10 years younger and yes to 20 years older.

HawkPerception · Answer

20 years younger would make them 7 years old, so no. 10 years younger would make them 17, so most likely not. I WOULD date a woman that's 47 years old though if she had my ideal personality. So yes I would date a woman 10-20 years older than me if we had chemistry. Age matters less and less as you get older.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

Not a chance. I'm fine with more significant age gaps when people hit their 50s because is there really much difference between the life experience of a 55 year old and a 45 year old?
But when you're young, there is a huge difference between 18 and 25. I wouldn't even date a 20 year old now that I'm 23 because I know how much people grow and change from their late teens to mid 20's

Mayajenks9 · Answer

When I was 21 I dated a guy who was 30. There were definitely pros and cons. We had a lot of fun together, and sexually it was amazing. Problem was that when we started hanging out he gave off casual vibes, which at 21 I was cool with, but after a few weeks he started getting a lot more serious about us than I was ready for. We were just in very different places in our lives.

onahole-san · Answer

Older women took advantage of me when I was younger and it was incredibly traumatic to me. I was passed around for drugs at a point. I'd date a girl a few years older than me, but I think that's the max.

Older women started scaring me when my mom traded me for crack.

summerfox · Answer

I've kinda made a rule not to date anyone more than five years older (might one day have exceptions once I'm a bit older) because I made a mistake of getting into a relationship when I was 17 with someone 7 years older... it was very toxic and ended in sexual assault... and even though the age gap I think I technically legal in my country, I don't think it was okay...

Hathor · Answer

older men are more chivalrous and generous. Younger men are better looking most of the time

Anonymous · Answer

I've been in a relationship for 13 years with a woman 20 years older than me. Although we recently ended our relationship as a couple, we still are great friends. When we first started dating I didn't expect anything long term, considering she has children of my own age, and are my friends. As things went on, it only made sense to stay together. We have been through so much in life, and I couldn't imagine going through such trying times with anyone else. Follow your heart, age is just a number (of legal age of course)

Anonymous · Answer

I like younger but normally would be ok with from 2-3 minimum to maybe 7 max
With 5 as really nice but hmm maybe could this 10 years younger or close to it if it really would go that way
But well not now
That wouldn't look the best with my age just really bad for people so couldn't yet lol

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

I can only imagine going 10 years up, maximum.

My maternal grandparents had a 9-year difference and were together for over 50 years.
It was only toward the older years they really felt it - especially because my grandfather got sick.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I prefer same age. But highest i went was 9 years. Only because we looked and acted the same age but at the end of the day, i couldnt get past his age. Plus he was too damn old not to be ready to do adult things

igaveyouanickname · Answer

Inadvertently, I always end up with a similar demographic: smart, hot, 18-25, looks very young, hilarious, actually mature (not pretending), sensible, and fun. Never had any problems or complaints.

There's a name for it: age gap relationships.

BCA6010 · Answer

Nah, that's too much. Furthest apart I've ever dated was 7 years and simply being at different stages in life ultimately ended it. Ideally I'd try to stay within 3 years and maybe stretch to 5 if I thought it was worthwhile...

suisuiola · Answer

Nope, I always joke about it because my celebrity crushes are like +30. But I'd never actually date someone with such a large age gap.

Account · Answer

10 years younger would be weird as fuck, I wouldn't date a 19 year old. My limit is 24. No I wouldn't date someone 20 years older than me, since I don't like older men.

normalice · Answer

Dont know about 10 years younger. Seems like if im going to go through the agony of dating outside my generation i may as well go for the hot 20 year olds.

NathanDavis · Answer

10 years younger... yes 10 years older... yes 20 years older... yes I would, but I just haven't yet... almost ended up in a relationship with someone that was 10 years older than me

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Younger, because girls my age can't have kids anymore.

Avicenna · Answer

I've dated some women 16-25 years younger than me. I did have a fling with a woman 11 years older than me, but that's probably as far as I'd go now on the older side.

Ninani · Answer

I actively date men both younger and older than me (21-60 yo atm)

hhadeshatesme · Answer

would depend on the relationship. Long term would be 10 years max. Casual I’d be willing to go significantly higher, and younger is just a no

ChasingAmy01 · Answer

10-20 year older sure younger no that get me prison time. 20 years they don’t exist yet.

IveGotNoName · Answer

Younger sounds sort of problematic 😂, older I wouldn't dp either, too different in terms of what stages of life we'd be in

Rahuliyer4977 · Answer

If there is enough commonality, and overall a good relationship that both parties wish to pursue, why not?

Blackcupcake · Answer

Not 20 that’s too much...  10-15 max. But never younger, I’m not into that.

Peege23081985 · Answer

No in short. 5 years either way is okay. Any more it may go sour.

Aquariusmystery · Answer

No, my limit is 6 months older than me to 6 years older than me. Any older or younger than this bracket and it’s a no

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

Probably older than me considering I am only 23 and dating a girl 10-20 years younger than me would realistically get me thrown in the slammer.

JennBITx · Answer

I would date older. I am too young to date someone younger

karaspara · Answer

Now that i'm grown yes I would older though not younger

exitseven · Answer

I think ten years is about my limit. Maybe I would go a little more depending on the person.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yes, I would date someone 10 years younger than me. But only if she was emotionally and intellectually mature.

AdithyaR · Answer

Nope, anything more than one year older or younger than me feels wrong.

MelissaMarie9614 · Answer

10 years older, yes I would that's the highest I would ever go for. Younger, no.

dwaltsr · Answer

I have certain qualities I seek in a woman.. has nothing to do with age, so yes..

jeffryrobertbabb · Answer

I have dated several girls quite a bit older than me, but we broke up. They liked having sex with a younger man.

Shiningtempest · Answer

@shangval I'm willing to date a woman who's 10-20 years younger if she shares the same hobbies & values.

Marioz86 · Answer

I date in general 10-20 years younger girls. Women my age are mostly scarred by terrible marriages guys who hurt them amd are always bitter.

Anonymous · Answer

Currently w/ someone 9 years younger. If I end up on the market again, I'd almost certainly go for someone younger.

Twalli · Answer

10 years. My current girlfriend is 5.5 years older than me.

Pterodon · Answer

I’ve dated cougars as much as 15 years older when I was younger and I’ve dated 25 years younger

keirl · Answer

Age is just a number the older you get you will realize it more

Zygum · Answer

So far you are OK with your relationship, age does not matter

mirdy · Answer

No more the 5 years younger and 10 years older for me

Anonymous · Answer

That is not ideal lol ideally they would be around my age

Tiptoetamm · Answer

Yes my ex if 10 years older than me

Anonymous · Answer

Pound older milfs and cougars yes Date younger woman yes

MCheetah · Answer

Yes, but it wouldn't be ideal?

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Yea id try it if we vibed

humanearth · Answer

No have to be the same age as me

Starwitch23 · Answer

Nope, he'll be a child.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Older sure Younger never

Wise4myage · Answer

Yes, definitely older.

Anonymous · Answer

Ill shoot for 35 younger...😳😱😂

JamesBlame · Answer

If the chemistry is there

Slim57 · Answer

Yeah no big difference all immature

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Yes I would 🙄

Anonymous · Answer

If I want kids I'm not dating anyone older than 25

nxxxxxxxxxxxa · Answer

Yes, definitely.

Coulis · Answer

Sure, why not?

Would you date someone 10-20 years older or younger than you?

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