Boyfriend won't share his Facebook password because "it's against the T&C", is that a stupid reason?

[Anonymous]

So, we've been together about 3 years, and while I know the PIN to his phone, I don't know his FB password (or IG or twitter) and he doesn't like me reading his mesasges.

I sat him down and told him, calmly, that it's important to me we share passwords because I feel it shows trust, but he refused, stating that it's against T&C, and that he won't be sharing. I feel this is just an excuse, am I right?

Yes, it's a stupid reason, he should give you the passwords

No, it's a valid reason.

[Jake99999]

This is an individual thing, but honestly there needs to be trust in a relationship and there need to be boundaries. People need some personal space. If you need to audit all of his communications, I would say there is a fundamental lack of trust that goes beyond just reading his FB account. Is that healthy?

And him wanting to have some boundaries, you think its "an excuse"... an excuse for what? because in reality he has several women on the side and he doesn't want you to know? If you suspect that and are worried about that, is he giving you reasons to worry? Maybe its your own insecurity that is driving this? Maybe you deserve some space and some privacy too. I wouldn't give him your PIN and all your account info. Why? You have a right, as a person, to some privacy.

And if he REALLY wants to have secret hidden communications because he wants to cheat on you, do you think he can't or wouldn't create some kind of other account that you don't know about?

I have been with my partner for 4 years. She is a hottie. But I know she loves me and I trust her. I don't need to read her email or her texts, etc. Maybe there are personal things there with her friends, her family, etc. Do I need to demand to read it all? That just seems wrong. And she trusts me. I don't want her email password, I don't want to read her FB account, etc. People need some personal privacy. She feels the same way.

If she is going to leave me, she will leave me, and no amount of me checking on her is going to stop that. And to demand to check it all, all the time... its just too needy. The same for your situation. If you constantly must audit everything - that is unhealthy and a turn off really. I think its much sexier - and a better sign of a real, healthy relationship - to give your partner some personal space and have some boundaries, and TRUST them. You auditing them constantly is not going to keep them with you - but you loving them and trusting them and giving them some personal space might.

[MotorcycleMan]

My personal opinion is that you have some boundary issues. His messages are for him, not for you. Giving away a password to social media to a partner can end up a nightmare if anyone turns out to be vindictive after a breakup. Additionally, I feel like when someone sends me a message, they believe that this is a private message to me and may say things that they don't want known to the general public. It would be a betrayal of trust to share private messages with anyone else.
Not sharing a password is not an issue of trust, it's just common sense. You should not share passwords. His messages are for him, not for you.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

My wife and I share our logins for everything. That being said, it is only meant in the case something happens to one of us and she needs to access my accounts for deactivation or notification to my friends kind of thing. It is not meant so she can go read my messages. If I saw her doing this I would change my passwords immediately.

If you have that many trust issues then maybe it is time for some self reflection. If he has given you a reason to doubt him then maybe it is time to give the relationship an evaluation and, no, him just not sharing his password does not qualify as reason to doubt.

[Dinklex3]

I don't know what T&C is, but he's entitled to some privacy.
That's so invasive to want to read his messages.
If you trust him then you shouldn't need his passwords. There are some things he probably doesn't want to tell you, and you shouls be okay with that.
I'll share netflix accounts or whatever, but never messaging accounts. Those conversations are between my friends, familu, and myseld. If I wanted my s. o in that conv then they'd be in it.
You sound like you're being pretty unreasonable. Respect his boundaries.

[Dinklex3]

Ignore the small typos as my phone hates me.

[Little_Bumblebee]

You needing his password shows distrust on your end and need for control.
It's toxic and I would not be okay with a partner that insisted on this.

[JamesCarrington]

The answer is no, he shouldn't share it. You say it shows trust. You wanting to know it shows distrust. Fatal flaw in your relationship.

[JamesCarrington]

Someone blocked me? Jeez! Only been here 2 days! Probably not worth staying if that's the attitudes here.

[Birdlegs]

Get used to it I get blocked all the time I find enjoyment in it

[JamesCarrington]

@Birdlegs As my sister says, it is his loss. I might just have the only answer to a question of his. He will never see it. Shot himself in the foot! 😂😂😂

[Stan_Control_]

Why tf would you need his password? Sounds to me like you've got trust issues on your end. If you need a Facebook account, just make your own.

[BlacklightShade]

If you're asking for a guy's password and he says "no", he's not the problem.

[spartan55]

He should dump you for this... passwords? Are you fucking kidding me?

[admles]

Please tell me this is a joke...

YOU. DON'T. NEED. HIS. PASSWORDS.

Grow up.

Oh, and it's a perfectly valid reason.

[Nick473]

Everyone deserves to have at least some privacy. he's not wrong for saying no and it doesn’t mean he's doing anything its just comforting to have your own space

[Anonymous]

You're very crazy. Don't you respect others privacy and security? Holy fucking shit. 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
if anything requiring sharing passwords alone is a good reason to break up.

[dreamstar72]

My wife and I know must be odd then, because we share all our passwords.

[dreamstar72]

Take know out sorry

[admles]

and that's fine, if that's what works for you, and you both decide to do it.

But OP's partner doesn't want to, and that's his right - it should never be something demanded in a relationship, or required.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't want to feed your need to be in control of every aspect of his life. It's his personal account. You are not married.

[Tommyy12]

You're not entitled to your boyfriend passwords to his social media accounts. You're looking very insecure by demanding it.

[Iron_Man]

Give me a break I can’t believe you put up with that

[OddBeMe]

C. It’s a stupid reason. But give him privacy. Also he’s a dummy who’s flirting with other chicks.

[Anonymous]

If my girlfriend asked for my password I would push her down the stairs and then break up with her. but that's just me

[Anonymous]

no he doesn't have to give you his password he doesn't have to give you shit

[TheFlak38]

what a nice control bitch you are

[Nachowedgie]

Mind your own fucking business

[Hulk30]

it's true