How do you get over someone who used you?

[Anonymous]

How do I get over someone who basically used me and who I gave my virginity to? Especially when he is calling saying he misses me but I know he doesn't want a relationship?! I love him but he only loves the sex :( Help!

[gettinittogether]

That sucks, sorry to hear that. I really liked this one girl too, after things went wrong with us I decided I wasn't going to let it affect me. So I quickly started going out and seeing other women as soon as possible, and it has helped greatly, I hardly think about her and I've got my mind set on a different girl. I would recommend going after other guys right away. You said 'he only loves the sex' (that's not you, that's your body). You also said that he used you. None of that is love. So if he calls you and says he misses you, be upfront and honest with him. Ya know? Say what you really feel, get everything out of your head, it'll put things to an end and will clear your 'feelings' that you have for this guy. Because if he's going to keep saying this stuff and you fall for it, you're probably just going to continue getting more and more hurt. And does he care? Probably not, because as you say he's in it for the sex. Sorry to say and sorry it's happened to you, especially if it was your first time. But as the others have said, you can either dwell on this guy, or you can do something about it and find guys 100 times better than him. I think you deserve someone much better. Good luck!

[DominateDating]

The only way to get truly over this is by confronting him about how you feel and do not let him manipulate what your intentions of the conversation are. After you confronted him about this issue. Give yourself A LOT of space (no phone calls, e-mails, messaging.etc) let time do it's job. The final, and most important, thing to do is forgive yourself and understand you are still valuable and priceless. Build your self esteem and confidence through this. Learn and move on. Your virginity doesn't define who you are as a person, you define who you are. Don't let this become a burden for the rest of your life. Do not dwell on the past because it won't change but the future can. He is a dog and dogs don't live very long.

[Reeses-pieces777]

you both should sit down and talk. try dating him without sex. if he stays then he's worth it. if he doesn't still want to be with you seriously, it isn't something you want. it might work out but if it is just a one way relationship (only you care), then it won't. some guys don't care, that's just the sad truth. I agree, don't let him play mind games or distract you while talking to him about the main objective, state what you want, see what he thinks/ responds.

[forever]

Be straight up with him saying how you feel and if he still does not want to commit then dump him for your own good. The longer you wait and keep on giving yourself to him, the harder it will be for you. He will keep on using you until he is bored and find another girl. To get over him, you should do NO CONTACT. It is the best way! Don't answer his phone calls, e-mails etc too. Hope it helps =)

[Raven42]

With all due respect.you probably don't love him. Everyone thinks they love the first guy they slept with. I'm going to be honest its going to take a while to get over him. How do you know he used you for one? And if he did and you really do need to get over him start checking out other options. Don't stand for that shit, you're better than that.

[Anonymous]

Tell him what you expect from him and if you can't come up with something that's ok with both of you then forget about him. I personally think he doesn't deserve you though, and you can find someone much better.

[A-Soldiers-Wife07]

IMO, I'd cut him out of my life. Stop answering his calls, don't read any emails or texts he sends you. You already know all he wants is sex, so stop putting yourself through this. You deserve so much better than that!

[JeVousAime]

Cut him off! Forget the guy. You can do better.

Don't let him worm his way back in with calls/texts/any other form of communication.

[lock90]

run, run away don't talk to him don't even see him he doesn't care for you he only care's for your body nothing more.

[ILoveCefalu]

Hey, I've been in a prety similar situation lately except it didn't go that far. These answers and your question helped me, so thanks!