How do you know you have met the right life partner?

[Laura456]

What are some ways to know for sure? From the start and during the relationship?

[Lliam]

I got my first girlfriend when I was 16. I wasn't ready to settle down, though and had several other relationships after that.
I was in my mid-30s when I thought I was mature enough to find a life partner and settle down.
I had a couple more relationships. One of those was with a lady that I loved with my heart and soul and she loved me. I was 37 and she was 31. I virtually lived with her for over a year. Alas, a life together wasn't meant to be. It's complicated but, suffice to say that there was no meanness or cheating involved. I was devastated when we separated and it took me a year to recover.

Then I met my future wife. Our first date was amazing. We totally clicked. Our conversation at the restaurant just flowed. We dated exclusively after that for a year before I proposed. I felt that she was the one I could spend the rest of my life with. We got married when I was 42 and she was 40. Both of us had been in plenty of previous relationships and had lived full lives, but neither of us had ever been married.

We've been happily married now for 25 years.

[Laura456]

Wow, what a journey!

[BarryLiverstone]

One way is by knowing for sure who you don’t want. Do you want a smoker or not? Someone who works or not? Someone who has gone to college? Figure out things that are red flags and it helps to know what you need

[Laura456]

Process of elimination is a good way. Sometimes I give people a chance regardless of preferences, never know how good they’ll turn out.

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s always good to be open minded but know your boundaries. And yes that’s the whole point of dating. We don’t date just to have sex or not be bored. We date to learn someone and with the intentions of marrying them some day assuming it all works

[BarryLiverstone]

So then turning out good takes time

[Laura456]

Interesting, so I need to add in boundaries and allow sufficient time.

[BarryLiverstone]

Def. Learn what your boundaries are and be able to communicate them. Then take your time because trust takes a while to build up

[Laura456]

Thank you 🙂

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome

[AmandaYVR]

You never know for sure. This is the most common question from young people. No one ever knows anything for sure.

But how do you hedge your bet? By comparison. By being open, meeting lots of different people (not necessarily getting into relationships with lots) and having a strong baseline comparison.

[Laura456]

True that 👍

[Laura456]

I’m quite new to the whole dating situation, little hesitant to put myself out there

[AmandaYVR]

Perfectly understandable. It's a lot to navigate.
The one piece of advice I would say is easy enough to do and can apply to all... try not to think of every person you meet, every situation, as so serious, and sizing them up if you are a match or not. You still have lots of time, and it nice to approach it all with a bit more levity and less on the expectations. Think 'Well that was a nice dinner and chat we had, but it wasn't necessarily something that may lead where I want it to go" instead of "He doesn't have all the things on my check list so I don't want to invest in him further.' I'm not suggesting casual flings at all. I mean just try to appreciate experiences and the process of meeting people. You can also sort of practice the art conversation. It'll get easier over time if you don't think there's so much riding on it. If they don't like you, and vice versa, ah well, 7.7 billion on the planet, right. Just aim for some interesting conversation, and maybe learn a couple of things.
Great connections can be quite rare, but there can be interesting aspects in all people.
Anyway, good luck! 🍀

[Laura456]

Thanks for the words of wisdom 😍

[exitseven]

Everyone tells you that you will just know. It really was just like that. We had so many things in common that if I wrote about it here nobody would believe me. It just seemed that we knew each other our whole lives. Plus we had pretty much the same upbringing and the same values. And then the fact that I thought she was really pretty had something to do with it too.

[Phoenix98]

1# Connection and chemistry

2# you just click or fit together well

3# your able to work through your issues or problems

4# having what your looking for

5# having as little red flags as possible

6# you understand and communicate with each other well

7# honestly just taking the time to build that connection up give it a strong foundation

8# take time to come to trust each otger

9# when you know, you know

[Alvin1997]

We'll i haven't met my partner so still need some experience.

[Vivaldi]

I don't meet any kind of partner