Is it normal for guys to feel overwhelmed about going to wedding related functions with their girlfriend if they haven't been dating long?

[Anonymous]

For context; my boyfriend of 3 months doesn’t want to go to a pre wedding function of my cousin’s because he thinks that my family would pressure him with the same kinds of expectations and so he feels overwhelmed. Is that normal?

[Flower_Power]

Yes! I lot of guys feel this way, even if they have been dating for a while. My favourite comedian, John Mulaney, made a joke about this. I think men feel like being brought to a wedding is a sign that their girlfriend wants to get married. A lot of them panic because of this. Also, you mention that your boyfriend is anxious about familial expectations. Has he met you parents before? A wedding is a bit of a "stiff" place for him to first meet them. Either way, his reaction is what I would consider normal.

[Asker]

Yes! He has met my parents and has no issues with them its just the other elders of the family and their expectations that get him. Thank you so much for your response i feel a lot better now :)

[Flower_Power]

I see. Meeting any family can be quite scary, especially at an event like a wedding. Is he going to go with you?

[Anonymous]

Is it normal for some guys to have this concern, sure. But that doesn’t mean it’s practical or not just an excuse to get out of going. I highly doubt that after 3 months your parents would pressure him to marry you, if they are the sort to do all that to your boyfriend anyway. But he should want to go with you regardless, it’s just a date.

[Asker]

Yeah like he is okay with going to other events and he has in the past, but this event will have all of my extended family so maybe their teasing makes him overwhelmed? I don't know

[Opinion Owner]

I can totally get feeling nervous or intimidated, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t go altogether or try and talk his way out of it. This is important to you, and you should be able to bring your boyfriend as a date. The fact that he doesn’t want to go says a lot, at least to me. I dated someone like that once upon a time, and he didn’t want to go to one of my cousins wedding so I just dismissed it. But now the guy I’m with, I invited him to another cousins wedding happening this summer and he’s all in, we’ve also been together officially since January and he’s met my mom and fam. It’s a huuuge difference than the guy before him and I don't know if I would’ve realized it had I never met him. I know now stuff like what your boyfriend is doing isn’t ok.

[one1wild00]

Yes, its normal, but doesn't want to and uncomfortably going and doesn't want to and won't go are two different things. If he doesn't want to but still goes and is uncomfortable it just means he is definitely putting your needs ahead of his own. if he doesn't go it may be too soon for him, or he's not into all the wedding hubbub, he may be a very quiet/reserved person that doesn't like a lot of commotion.

[spartan55]

A 'pre wedding function',? Ugh, don't take him to that... smh... it's bad enough you are taking him to a wedding.

[Anonymous]

What's there for a guy to like about weddings?