How do you reconcile the two?

A question to the lady's ( guys feel free to whey-in from experience ).

Lady's you look for a man that you and others can respect. And that's OK.
But when you meet that man, you hide things that will ruin him if they came out.

While getting to know him, you find out things that he doesn't what in a partner.
You find yourself in some of them, and don't share that whit him.
Acting virtues and lying are your go to moves in this situation, instead of coming out clean.

In my book hiding things that may hurt the partner, humiliate them is not how you show respect.

My question is: How do you reconcile wanting a man that has respect, and disrespecting him when you have him?
How do you reconcile the two?
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