If you blocked your SO out of anger, what gift would make you unblock and forgive them?

[djg3665]

In a LDR for 7 months with my girlfriend who lives in Colombia. I have a trip booked and paid for to see her in 3 weeks. She recently became critically ill and was admitted to the ICU for several days, but without me knowing, she sold the phone so she could pay her hospital bill and we went from daily conversations to maybe 1 time a week when she can borrow a phone from one of her friends. This has caused a strain for both of us, but when she went to the hospital she didn't tell me, I found out days later through one of her friends. The cell phone she sold was a gift so we could communicate, she didn't tell me that she sold it and now it feels like everything has fallen apart. After about 3 weeks of limited to no interaction, I told her that if she can find a used phone, I will help so things get better. She found one for $75 and I sent for her to get it, three days later still nothing.

Out of frustration I sent her messages that I need her to make an effort to put me in her life, that I will be there is a few weeks and I feel disconnected from her, that I have no idea what is going on in her life anymore because she is not including me in anything. I also told her that I am considering ending things if they don't get better. Mainly frustration boiling over and needed to vent after trying everything and nothing working. She read my messages and a couple of hours later blocked me without a word. I think that she thinks I ended things, but I was asking to talk about everything.

I talked to her best friend (female) who she lives with and said to give it a couple of days, that Latinas are explosive but she thinks that things will be back to normal soon. She said that I should do something nice for her to make her happy like flowers or something else and she would go shopping for me and give her something and talk to her. Neither of us know what to get her and it is not like I can order same day delivery with Amazon and have something sent to her there.

[Anonymous]

You’re getting scammed. They’re just using you for money and gifts, she has no feelings and no interest in a proper relationship with you. Advice for the future: If she’s not making an effort to talk to you and see you then she’s not that interested. If she’s asking for money or you feel you have to provide her with money or gifts to keep the relationship going then it’s a scammer or pure golddigger you have on your hands. These things are especially true if she’s abroad, it’s a long distance relationship in general or she’s considerably younger than you. You should move on.

[djg3665]

She has only asked me once for help and even then it was difficult for her to ask. I think that is why she sold the phone, she didn't want to ask for help and did what she could to pay her bills. The gift idea is just to smooth things over, not much different than what you would do in a non-LDR. I would agree with you if she was asking every week for something, but it is not the case with her. I have met the type you are talking about and it is definitely not someone I would knowingly date.

[Blackcupcake]

I would never block my SO out of anger and sure do not want a gift if I’m angry, I want a conversation lol

[djg3665]

I agree with you, I only want a conversation but without saying a word and blocking me makes it impossible. Her best friend told me to not worry about it, she is confident that things will be better in a couple of days. Since I know that my girlfriend talks all day to her and they live together, I imagine that she has some insight into how to handle her and smooth things over. So I am trusting her advice right now and leading me down a path that won't cause more damage.

[Blackcupcake]

yes if she made the decision to cut contact then let her take the first step in contacting you when she feels ready… so just let her be until then

[ShadowMonarch]

First of all, your being angry is very much ok... you did everything for her out of pure love but she didn't embrace it... but still,
She is having a very rough time so she is on the edge and can't make straight decisions...

So you blocked her in your anger mood,
Personally I would say, that any gift that has some meaning to it would be the best gift...
Just send her something written with it... for example I'm always with you... and things will be fine...

[djg3665]

She actually blocked me after reading my messages without saying a word, her friend was surprised and offered to help get a gift for her and talk to her. I hear you though, maybe it was the wrong time to air out my frustration given that she is having a rough time. But since I have no idea what is going on with her lately, I have no idea what is the right time.

[UniquelyBasic]

If she did something bad enough for me to block her then it was probably something really bad because I dont block people in general. If that was the case the only gift they could give me was to move on and become a better person with someone else.

[djg3665]

She got really angry I assume, but I don't think that I said anything bad. It was basically for this relationship to work, she needs to make the time to put me in her life and her decision to sell the phone has caused a lot of damage. But I am thinking that my phrasing was off in Spanish and she misinterpreted what I was saying into "This relationship is over" which is not what I was trying to convey. I was trying to convey that she needs to make an effort to put me in her life because we can't continue like this and be happy. But keeping me blocked and not saying a word doesn't give me the opportunity to clarify if that is what happened and why I contacted her friend for help. I have experienced her getting angry with me in the past, usually we don't talk for a day and then talk about it and everything is good. But this is the first time she blocked me.

[IMuser]

She is ill right? You are expecting her to be active in a relationship when her physical condition is not good?