What does it mean when a guy says “he’s just tired”?

[Anonymous]

I got into a kind of argument with someone I’ve been seeing. It was great and everything and does things to show he really likes me. But he reiterated he’s not ready emotionally and mentally for a relationship. I felt himself distancing from me and he said a lot of hurtful things, and I still have feelings. After expressing this on a call for him, I texted him after and said let’s just take a break from this friendship.

he had ignored my messages for two whole days- first does this mean he doesn’t care or was hurt? He finally called me and I answered. I was still hurt And not in a mood to talk so I didn’t say a lot. But he just said “I’m not ignoring you, I read everything and listened, do whatever you need to do.” Then he said “I’m just tired”.

im def over analyzing this. But does that he's just tired of kind of like dealing with me, and a nice way to say I have no feelings? Or is that him saying he’s like physically and mentally tired. Regardless I’m stepping back but want insighg

[Nawlins34]

There's nothing to confuse here.

He said, "he’s not ready emotionally and mentally for a relationship". That's enough right there. (sidenote: if you're sexually active with him, this is where you stop).

Then, "I’m not ignoring you, I read everything and listened, do whatever you need to do.” Then he said “I’m just tired” - He's done.

If you're waiting for, "Hey anonymous, listen, I think we should go our separate ways, I'm not romantically, socially or sexually interested in you and we've ran our course, I wish you the best." - that's not coming from him.

This is over. Not another call, not another message. His actions are matching his words.

IF he comes back, tell him to leave you alone. I hope I've helped, be safe and good luck.

[Asker]

Thank you!!! This is super helpful, yes unfortunately that was what I was looking for from him. Because all his comments are very vague and his actions misleading, and I want a direct answer. I understand that he doesn’t want a relationship and agreed to be friends, but he looks at me and touches me in ways that indicates more (not sexual but playing with my hair touching my face etc). It makes me develop more feelings and makes it so hard to adapt to friends. The factor that pushed me to say let’s take a break, is that he always seems to compare me to other people or point out my flaws. And this makes me very hurt. It then triggered me when he didn’t respond to my lets not be friends for two whole days. I was tired of the draining friendship because of my feelings too.

So I should take his “I’m tired” as an I don’t have feelings for you, and didn’t have. Rather than an Im just mentally exhausted thing? I didn’t ask for clarity and just said okay. And it doesn’t matter because I am taking a break until no longer likes him. Just curious as to if it’s a I don’t like you or genuinely I’m mentally exhausted of all stressors

[Asker]

The tired thing could’ve also been a response to addressing why he didn’t answer me for so long but idkkk

[Nawlins34]

At this point, it doesn't matter. Just leave him be. Reading your response, you were thinking the right things, but understand, a lot of men aren't good with communicating.

There ARE guys who will tell you what you were initially looking to hear, but they are very blunt and will actively leaving gray areas like this guy.

So you're not wrong to expect it, but it's the exception, not the rule.

It's draining for you both because you want consistency and he doesn't bring that to the table.

Just know this type of guy, also doesn't know when to quit. So knowing that now, you'll have to break off communication - don't trust him to do it.

[Nawlins34]

*will actively NOT leave gray areas.

[Asker]

Your right- it doesn’t matter what the Im tired statement means. Because still breaking it off because friendship wasn’t working. Will work on moving on. I guess I also feel bad. Because the Im tired thing makes me wonder if I just did too much. With numerous messaging on the let’s not be friends since he was ignoring me, and he will be tired and forever not want to deal with me again because of that.

[Anonymous]

He’s tired of dealing with the relationship and has other things going on in his life. Just break up and move on. He’s done with you.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Asker]

Do you think he’s done forever? Or chance afte break and stress subsides

[Opinion Owner]

Stick a fork in him. He’s done.

[WhitneySnow]

He’s tired of dealing with the stress of whatever relationship you guys have

[Asker]

Thank you. That’s probably it- we both are tired which was why I wanted a break first. I think my mistake was waiting for his “approval” of the break during his silent treatment period. I don't know if should interpret as a I don’t like you as never will/did thing in a nice way

[WhitneySnow]

No. I think he’s just saying he needs a break.

[SignedAutographs]

he's probably saying "he's tired"

and you're likely thinking about this too much

women tend to do that

[Asker]

Yea I 100% tend to do that especially. I do just feel like all his words have underlying meaning. Like I’m tired can imply that he’s done w me and the relationship? Rather than actually just being tired of everything in a nice way haha

[Anonymous]

He's tired of this drama and wants a break.

[Asker]

Thank you, that’s what I wanted too because there’s too negative energy. But he’s been ignoring me and not agreeing to it. And we’re taking a break regardless, just trynna see if that’s code for “I don’t like you and already tried fo say that in a nice way”, or if he might come back around

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe if you take a break and start things slowly, just being good friends, that would work in your favor.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know him so I don't know what he wants, but if there's no drama and just being friends it might turn into something more. I don't know if there's no feelings left, but it sounds like he's tired of the drama and you are too.

[Asker]

Yea your 100% right. I was tired of the mixed feelings, constant comparison to exes and pointing out of my flaws. It really damaged my mental health. Then when I texted him and said I need a break from this friendship because I’m still hurting, he ignored me for two days which made me feel worse. And likewise, he’s probably tired of reiterating he’s not ready for a relationship, and not mentally in a good spot. I just always feel like it’s code for I don’t like you, same with Im tired thing. Unsure if I should interpret that as a I don’t like you or a genuine, I’m already mentally exhausted and this adds atm

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know what he means either, but if it's emotionally draining, it's toxic. You're better off without him.

[Asker]

Agreed- thank you. I have a terrible habit of over analyzing everything. Stuck on trynna see if the Im tired thing means we were already over, which I should take it as

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. You can't beat a dead horse. If he is interested or there's anything left, let him contact you. So then you'll know. Good luck :)

[Asker]

Will do! Thank you :)

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome and I hope everything works out for you, best wishes :)

[Asker]

Thanks!!