How can I accept that my PTSD makes me a broken person and unable to form a romantic relationship?

[Anonymous]

[Guy_No1974]

How about accepting that you've been hurt in life, but that doesn't mean that you should be alone or unloved, it doesn't mean that you're unlovable or unattractive, it just means that you need to be gentle with yourself and not so hard on yourself.

[Guy_No1974]

. if you want to talk, you can message me if you like.

[Asker]

No one wants me in that way, it’s like pulling teeth to keep anyone interested. And I’m also too afraid to get close anyway.

[Guy_No1974]

I think you might be surprised.
Would it help if you had someone who would be strong with you, someone who would kind of take your hand and guide you.

[Asker]

Surprised by what?

[Guy_No1974]

Surprised how many men Are attracted to you.

[Asker]

People tell me guys are really attracted to me, but I don’t feel anything in return. I don’t think anything is meant to happen, plus I’m getting older so I guess my options will also dwindle down.

[Asker]

Don’t feel anything in return meaning I feel ugly

[Guy_No1974]

Come on, you're still in your prime, and if people say how attractive you are , then that's a good thing, but you can't help it if you're not attracted to them.
And you're obviously not ugly, you just need to build up your confidence.

[Asker]

Even if I do like someone it just doesn’t work out. I mean is it ok for my sanity to just opt out of dating or ever finding someone? I just know I’ll get hurt.

[Guy_No1974]

Why would you want to opt out of dating, if you don't dip your toes in the water, you'll never get wet. And everyone gets hurt at some point when it comes to dating, but you'll bounce back

[Asker]

I’ve been hurt dating too many times and it stresses me out. I think it’s only for non damaged people tbh.

[Guy_No1974]

That's not true. Just because you've been hurt, that doesn't mean you should avoid dating and relationships. I bet you're lovely.

[exitseven]

No, you are more than PTSD. You are not broken, just have some trauma. I am usually the last one to suggest therapy but in your case maybe you should consider it. Do not give up on life.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Doesn't sound like you're accepting it.

Sounds like you're asking for help, instead. Consider a professional psychologist or psychiatrist. GaG is in no way a substitute for qualified professional advice.

[Asker]

No I have accepted that romantic relationships aren’t for me. I feel so much more stressed about it especially lately since so many people are settling down and I know I will still be alone.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Oh, gotcha. Well, therapy can help you normalize your own views and help you feel more confident in them.

Deprogramming yourself from societal expectations and what you've been marketed as "The Life Script" from everything from your education to the ads you see/hear is tough to do alone. A therapist can honestly help you stop feeling pressured - because no one is pressuring you.

Or, if someone is actually pressuring you, they can help you figure out how to set your boundary and push back against that so you no longer feel that uncomfortable feeling.

But honestly, the "I'm a broken person and I'm giving up" isn't the same thing as achieving a healthy acceptance. If it were a healthy acceptance, you wouldn't see yourself as "broken".

[saffoler]

You don't have to be alone just because you have PTSD. You might be broken, but you can heal; and you don't have to wait until you finish healing before finding someone.

[Asker]

Thank you. I just don’t think anyone would want me because of it.

[saffoler]

You're welcome

[saffoler]

Why wouldn't they want you?

[Asker]

Because I’m broken and feel like dating and relationships are for everyone else because they’re normal.
I know that sounds dark but that’s what I think.

[saffoler]

You, above anyone else, deserve to be loved.

[LivingExample]

You are Not a “broken person” you are a person with a Problem and all of us have problems. In a romantic relationship be Real about your Problem up front. Maybe they can Help you deal with it!

[Anonymous]

We all have our own pain. That doesn't make you undatable.

[Asker]

I just feel like at the same time I’ve outgrown dating and relationships. I mean, also is it ok if I am just single and never marry?

[Opinion Owner]

Is that what you really want?

[Asker]

No, but I’m not finding what I want/need.

[Opinion Owner]

What do you want? And what do you need?

[Asker]

Someone who really cares about me and loves me, wants me to grow.

[Opinion Owner]

You deserve to find someone like that; and I hope you do find that person.