Can you get PTSD from Separation?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Every time I remember the last day I saw my ex,

(that is the day I flew from China to Georgia temporarily for 2 weeks but then never managed to go back, till after 2 years.)

I just almost feel like breaking down. I feel like had I stayed that day everything would be different.

I just made one naive and impulsive decision that broke my and his heart forever.

[Guardian45]

"Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event."

[Guardian45]

I am a PTSD Survivor, if you have any Qs.

[Guardian45]

Thank you for MHG!

[exitseven]

PTSD is a term that gets thrown around pretty freely these days. It is a pretty extreme condition that can result in panic attacks, night sweats and severe anxiety.

You are experiencing sadness caused by a loss. It is not PTSD.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[ShesRad80]

you are experiencing separation anxiety and regret.

PTSD is from surviving, witnessing traumatic events.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Surprisingly, I know pretty much nothing about PTSD other than what it stands for. I bet @msc545 could chime in far more intelligently than I can.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It’s okay.

I am no longer worried about it. I just don’t like remembering that day, as it causes lots of mixed emotions in me.

[msc545]

I can do a short blurb on the characteristics, causes, and treatment of PTSD if anyone wants it...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@msc545 No, It’s ok. Thnx.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@msc545 I'm good buddy. Thanks much. I just didn't want to speak dumbly on it. I can speak dumbly on enough other things ;)

[msc545]

😉😉

[spartan55]

Why do you feel it was a naive and impulsive decision?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That day, I got a call from embassy that Georgia was evacuating its citizens from China the next morning.

I brushed it off, I wasn’t going to leave China without my ex, I asked my embassy if they’d let my fiancé leave with me, they said no, because he was just my fiancé, he had to be my husband to be evacuated with me.

My parents, seemingly worried that I was stuck in pandemic struck China, called my ex behind my back and persuaded him that it was safer for me to leave,

My ex, was the only person who could persuade me do anything,

He bought me the ticket to that city, where the evacuation was from and urged me to leave China, get my visa renewed and come back.

I had visa invitations and all, it just needed to be settled in embassy and my visa was expiring.

He was siding with my parents concerned about my safety, as he was left there jobless and quarantined.

At some point I told him “I am not going to leave without you. If they don’t allow you on that plane as my fiancé then I am not going anywhere without you. I am staying.”

He hugged me and told me he was so happy I chose to stay, he didn’t know how to be without me by his side.

Then my panicked parents seemed to have contacted him again and tried to persuade him to encourage me to go.

They couldn’t persuade me because I was refusing to leave without my ex. So they knew my ex was my weak spot and tried to persuade him instead.

I don’t know what they told him, they probably told him situation in China would be very dangerous for me, so my ex came to me and told me

“If you love me, go back to Georgia now, get your visa settled. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you in 2 weeks and when you come back, we’ll get married. Trust me.”

His words meant everything to me. I could never oppose him and I said “okay, but please, promise me, if I don’t manage to come in two weeks, you’ll find a way to come to me.”

He promised me he would find me anywhere.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

As a sign that I was leaving for just two weeks, I didn’t even pack anything, I only packed his worn T-shirts in my suitcase to wear them for the two weeks when I’d be gone and one pair of warm shoes for me.

The next morning on the day of flight, when I woke up, he was already awake, I have never seen him crying, but he was crying that morning. When he noticed I woke up he dried his tears, but his eyes were all red and puffy, he myst have cried a lot before I woke up.

I kissed him and promised him, I’d come back to him very soon and that I loved him.

In the airport, I changed my mind, I couldn’t imagine flying far from him, I started crying and didn’t let him go, But we were already in the airport, he kissed my teary eyes and told me,

“It’s just 2 weeks babe, don’t cry please, I’ll see you in 2 weeks. You’ll get your visa. And as the Chinese embassies open we’ll get married here.”

Then he kissed me and took me to the Gate. I was the last one to board. Cause I couldn’t get myself out of his hands. I just didn’t want to leave him. Not even for two weeks.

But I left.

And China locked up right after couple days.

It locked up and never opened, until after 2.5 years.

He wasn’t allowed to leave. I wasn’t allowed to enter. I tried every single morning for 2 years.

When I managed it was too late.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We broke up after 2 years of long distance.

For two years, he called me every single day for hours.

The first year, we fell asleep together through video calls.

We watched movies, talked for hours, had dates together, but everything was online.

And eventually time and distance killed off what we had.

[spartan55]

Wow... two weeks seems wildly optimistic by any standards. Who knows what would have happened if you stayed in China. They may have taken you to a prison or who knows. I wouldn't trust that country at all.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yeah… That’s what I mean. I was naive and wildly optimistic.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

But that’s probably what most young people are like. I try to no longer blame myself, it hurts me a lot to think of that day when I left.

I would never, in my most horrible nightmares, would imagine that I would never see him again or that China would lock up for that long.

At the worst case scenario I was thinking I couldn’t see him for a month or two.

[KrakenAttackin]

No. The term PTSD is wildly overused these days.

[spartan55]

@KrakenAttackin
I'll give a few more: toxic, narcissist (and derivatives), autistic, Asperger's, hot and cold, ghost... on and on...

[KrakenAttackin]

@spartan55 True enough.

[Z1pTD]

Agreed @KrakenAttackin

[NYCQuestions1976]

Yes. It's called separation anxiety.

[KostasKouvalis]

Why not? I think anything can cause PTSD

[jahaims]

Yeah

[eagle1951]

probably