When is it NOT okay to stay quiet?

[Anonymous]

I feel like when someone maybe treats you wrong than stand up for yourself. But to me it's different when someones just talking shit. Because at the end of the day they just want a reaction and I'm not going to give it to them. And when I do then they're shocked🙄 lol

[HighlyVolatile]

I just err on the side of talking. I'm a talker (but I try to walk the act as much as I talk it, and I'll talk about my failings if I fail to walk).

When someone says shit to me, I talk. I never understood the advice of ignoring such people unless they're people I never have to talk to again.

If I have to interact again with that person, I think it's wiser to talk always. Maybe that's the difference. If you have to see the person over and over, might as well talk. If you don't have to see them again, maybe being quiet is wiser but I talk anyway.

[Asker]

Nah... you could be on fire (if you were talking shit about me) and I wouldn't piss on you to put you out. YOU are obligated to no one to talk to them. That their is an ass kisser. I kiss no ones ass

[HighlyVolatile]

I would find it more fun if you piss on me and we go back and forth in a fun way until we arrive at some resolution! I'm a big fan of fighting if it comes to that in verbal or physical form as a form of peacekeeping.

[Asker]

Nah. See you gotta grow out of that mentality. That mentality keeps someone in your mind for free. Dont waste your breath anymore on someone else. I've seen it both ways fighting back and forth is no peace, then physical altercation then death. I love my life and I'm not saying I'm scared in no way shape or form I'm just not going to jail for anyone and or entertaining nonsense when you can just move on with your life. Now with my s. o. that's a different thing lol

[HighlyVolatile]

I actually see a benefit to it but let's start with family, for example. We have to see those people all the time. You might agree with my thoughts on family. They say shit and you either talk back or you take it, but you're left with their company regardless. So I think it's bigger torture not to talk unless you want to move out and free yourself of them completely which is what I did when I was younger, but I think it would have been better if I talked as I'm now inclined to do.

[Asker]

I know people who can't talk to their parents because their parents see it as disrespectful to talk back or their parents just dont give a fuck how their child feels.

[Asker]

But moving out is a good way for them to get some kind of respect

[HighlyVolatile]

Sometimes I wonder if what I did moving out so young (just a little shy of 17) was the best option. But if I can offer another analogy, take a workplace with a nasty colleague or two here, yet let's say the rest are good. Yet we have to work with all of them. We can talk to try to resolve things, move into them, fight if needed, but seek a resolution. Or we can put up with it and be miserable until we quit our jobs and they win with their shit-talking. I refuse to quit on their account so I like talking back.

[HighlyVolatile]

The whole idea of being free never clicked with me just ignoring people left and right. I don't value that sort of freedom. I value the freedom to say and do whatever I want. I wanna fight someone then I fight someone. I do what I want. Freedom to me doesn't come from being left alone. It comes from doing what I want.

[Asker]

You have a pretty good defense. And you're right about the coworker situation. And I whole heartedly believe you should put down fucking bullies... period. but say you're walking down the street with your friend and two females you dont even know are shouting at you in your direction talkin about they'll beat your ass and blah blah. What do you do? What I did was ignore them because I had a " friend" next to me and I didn't know who they were talking to as I didn't know those girls. But years down the line it hit me and I realized I was most likely being set up by this friend to maybe get me in trouble which I never understood why. I avoided jail time and or death like these girls werent playing. Anywho any one other than myself would of talk shit back and probably would of gotten jumped or even handled themselves where they wouldn't get beat up "as bad" however I need to know in situations like this on what to do. I think I made the right decision. What do you think

[HighlyVolatile]

I'm not a wise man in this context whatsoever and maybe the worst person to ask. :-D I like the joy of talking back. Get assaulted, get thrown in jail for a brawl. I know these risks, and I've paid some of these penalties. It's fun! It makes life interesting. Some people want to make their lives as long as possible, as peaceful as possible, as smooth as possible, or reliable as possible. I enjoy these little adventures. I never measured the quality of my life by peace or longevity but maybe by the number of funny stories I could tell in hindsight.

[Asker]

Man stay outta trouble! Lol

[HighlyVolatile]

The way I look at life is that there are so many wise people around me as well as a mountain of bones of wise people throughout human history on which we stand. They avoid conflicts. They avoid talking back and fighting back. And they live a long life usually, very peaceful, very mellow, all hippie, and maybe with little chaos (at least of their own creation). But they end up the same way as I will, rotting somewhere under the earth. So I like some conflict here and there, I like some fun, I like some chaos. And I don't mind too much if my life becomes a chaotic mess for it, or even if I die very early, so long as I can work out which way is left from right, and up from down, and as long as I still feel like I did the right thing in my heart at the end even if I die trying.

[Asker]

I can respect that

[HighlyVolatile]

Cheers!

[litty]

If it's a work thing, it's best to deal with it quickly. Take the person aside and call them out and if they can't respect you enough to keep shit from spilling out of their face then they should be prepared for further action from higher up the chain.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Best to always try to avoid confrontation, but once you personally feel they have crossed your personal line then speak up and defend yourself.

[Asker]

You're right