How should I react when someone tells me I‘m too quiet?

[Anonymous]

I‘m a reserved person, especially in group settings. I like talking to my friends of course but when I‘m in a big group with a lot of people I‘m not close with I prefer to listen most of the time. it has happened a few times that a specific person has told me „you don‘t talk enough“ or something like that. I think it‘s a bit rude, it hurts my feelings and I don‘t know what to respond. It also doesn‘t make me want to talk more, it just makes me embarrassed. I don‘t want to force myself to talk more if it makes me uncomfortable or is that what I should be doing? also, I would never tell someone to talk less so I don‘t know why it‘s okay to say it the other way around. What‘s your opinion on this? thank you so much. 🤍

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh don't even worry about those kinds of comments sis, they're just rude. Not everybody is super extroverted and that's perfectly fine! You seem like you just prefer listening more in bigger groups and that is totally okay.

I would just own your quiet nature - something like "I'm more of a listener, but I'll chime in when I have something to add!" Said with a smile so they know you're not bothered. Or a simple "I'm comfortable with my level of chatting, but thanks!" to shut it down.

Definitely don't force talking just cause someone commented. That won't make you feel more comfortable and you seem like you're just being yourself. Own it girl! Maybe make an effort to talk to those people directly one on one so they know you when in groups.

But you don't need to change. Keep doing you - listen when you want and talk when YOU want. Fuck what anybody else says! As long as you're not being rude, it ain't their business how much you yap. Hang in there sis, you do you!

[Asker]

thank you so much ! that‘s so helpful and I‘ll do that if it happens again

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem! Happy I could help give some advice. Just remember - you don't gotta change who you are for anyone. Own that shy/quiet thing with confidence. I'm sure your real friends like having you around just the way you are. Try not to let the jerks get you down. Keep doing your thing and the right people will stick by your side. Feel free to hit me up if you ever need someone to talk to or vent to about stuff. We all deal with annoying people sometimes, so I got your back! Later!

[jahaims]

Tell them to be more interesting if they want you to talk

[Asker]

that‘s a good response haha and true

[SweetDripp]

I’m a bit of an introvert and also get comment like these. My standard response is “that’s just who I am.”
Anyone worth your time will take the time to get to know you.

[Asker]

thank you‘ I‘ll try that next time! :) in the past I used to think of excuses or try to talk more but it just makes me uncomfortable and I don‘t think there‘s something wrong with not talking that much.

[Anonymous]

Learn to be more social