How do I keep moving forward in life?

[LonelyTimes]

Right now, I am unemployed since last month, had to get rid of my apartment, and move back home. I am back on disability again.

I am turning 28 in a few months and never had a real girlfriend. I am watching all my former friends get married and have kids. They are moving into different chapters of their lives with their marriages, new families, and careers.

My mental health is not that great.

I don't know how to get my life back going again.

[Lamprey]

Heyo!
I’m sorry to hear you’re in such a dark place. I haven’t experienced that exact situation though I am familiar with struggling with mental health. If it helps any, what sometimes helps me is I’d recommended possibly breaking down in your head things that are causing you stress, no matter how minor, and trying to puzzle out ways to help them dude. They don’t have to be anything super serious at all! It can be anything from like if the window shades being open bothers you or makes you paranoid shut them, or if you notice that you feel less stressed with music play some to ease your mind, or if you feel the need that you’d like to exercise but don’t want to deal with nerves of the outdoors, pace or exercise indoors. Little things like that for me at least give me a tad more of a clearer head to feel better, and when experiencing that little boost from conquering something minor that is causing you stress, it sometimes can be just enough of a mental energy boost to conquer something larger giving you stress man. I’d also recommended doing other small things that make you feel more present in the world. For instance wearing separate clothes to sleep then changing into fresh ones when waking up, or giving yourself at least one thing a day to do. (Doesn’t have to be anything crazy, like a goal to drink some water when you wake up. Self-maintenance can be hard in mental health dips.) Or adjusting a sleep schedule so that you feel like you have the whole day left which is a nice feeling to wake up to. Finally most importantly I’d recommend staying in touch with friends. For me at least I know communication can be incredibly hard during tougher times with mental health, and sometimes it gets so rough I can’t respond to people but definitely try to stick close to someone man. Find the person you’re the most close to and tell them how you’re doing, check in with them, be their friend and hopefully they’ll be your friend in return. Having a friend you trust to confide in especially with mental heath is invaluable. Something that I personally think you should maybe take off your back for now though that will likely relieve some stress, is your mentioning of not having a girlfriend or gettin’ married. It’s beyond ok not to have a girlfriend or to of ever had one. It’s beyond ok not to be married. They don’t have to be symbols that those people somehow have their lives together just because they have those things, that just means they are in a relationship man. It’s more than ok to take your time and wait until you have a close connection with someone that forms into a relationship, just because someone has a girlfriend or wife doesn’t mean they are better or worse at life. With work I’d recommend considering things you enjoy doing, if it’s something you can practice researching or working on at home maybe that could open up a pathway! Or online you might find somethin’ that inspires you dude. If you’re overwhelmed from life and being fired from your past job, and have the opportunity to take a breather and work on mental health at the moment I definitely think you should take some time to do that. I hope some of these words help you a tad man, and if your mind ever starts buzzing too loud and overwhelming you my favorite remedy is walking to a gas station (if you can’t driving is ok my guy) and grabbing a slushee or something at night and just taking a moment to enjoy the cool air and a snack. It’s alright to let yourself breathe for a moment. You don’t need to be processing tough things or trying to force yourself to get better 24/7, it’s alright to let your mind go blank and heal for a sec.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Focus on your mental health.

I've had setbacks like yours, too. Many of my friends are married and I've just broken up with my fiancé (it was a good thing, I dodged a missile of red flags).

Focus on your mental health. Get yourself therapy, work through these feelings. A strong and resilient attitude is going to be necessary, and it's hard to really embody that if your mental health is neglected.

While you're home, take the time to build yourself a strong foundation.

We all go through life at different speeds. It isn't a race, it's a journey. You don't know where your friends will be in 5 years - same goes for you.

But taking steps now - small and steady - will get you closer to where you want to be.

[Anonymous]

Hi, sorry you are having a hard time.
Its awesome you have a home to go back to. its awesome you have disability to help even just a little.
Its awesome you never had a girlfriend to add extra drama to your life. That is a crap ton of drama you don't need at this time.
You main problem is comparison. Don't watch what others are doing. Do what you can. Do you want to know the major 99% cause of anxiety? In activity. When we are not doing anything about our situation its all hell in our mind. I know how factual this is because I live it. Do just little things each day to reach what ever goal you have. Its powerful.
History is full of people who where worse off. There is always some one worse off. Yet they move forward <-- that is your question. BY DOING one step at a time. If you don't know where to start talk to the people at "home" and see also what government agencies can help. There are a ton of them specifically set up to help people find employment. I know because I was a health care aide and my last client was chalked off as helpless. But we all where blown away when the state came by and said lets see what we can do to find him a job. So its there.

[Crankor]

Helps to find things you enjoy doing and improve on those. It gives you something to feel good about yourself. I get a lot of things requires money but there are things that don't. Looking for a job although is important, if it's the only focus then your just gonna stress out more.

[TransAm85]

U r still young and have so many opportunities. Don't give up now, u just ran into a little dead end. My goddaughter finished beauty school and has her license to cut hair/makeup artist, but she's working for Amazon! She says she wants to be a semi truck driver now? Don't get discouraged, just figure out what u really want to do. And the friends.. some stick around and some move on w/their life. Next year will be my 20 yr reunion w/my high school class. Most the people I just keep in touch with on FB

[Pudsmucker]

I feel your pain. Sorry lost your job. I had a history of losing my employment until I went to the military. After was discharged I went to work with federal government. You are given preference status. Now I am retired and I don't give a crap.
I am saying go into military they teach skills.
What are your skills? Message me.

[LonelyTimes]

I have to be level 2 to message you. You can message me first.

[Pudsmucker]

You have a block

[Anonymous]

Cases like this fill me with a lot of anger and rage because it reminds me of my lifelong hatred of how men are the only gender that are expected to be the ones to take or accept responsibility for their lives or situation, always have to be the ones to get off their asses and do something about it while women can rely on someone else to do it for them

[Weird_name]

We almost have the same problem.

How did I get out of it?
I forced myself to move forward. I struggled to keep myself better. If you won't move yourself forward, who will?

In terms of problems like this, no one can help you but yourself.

Don't pressure yourself so much about others life. We have different stories to make. You might be creating much better story.

[LonelyTimes]

What do you mean by *almost the same problem"?

[Weird_name]

The mental health issues.
Mom died, I met a guy then had feelings for him but one sided, I'm struggling with school, my fam don't support my dream, I don't eat, I can't sleep, I'm alone and lonely, every night I break down, it all happened at the same time.

But I made it :))

[Weird_name]

Small steps. It sounds cliche but it works.

[LonelyTimes]

I seek a woman without a romantic past. I wonder if I am just going to be single for life.

[Weird_name]

Why would you be single for life? I believe you can find true love no matter what. You just have to search very carefully. Others who are single for life just gave up on finding the one.

Plus there's a lot of girls who doesn't have a romantic past? They just blend well. So good luck on searching for her. 😅

[Jltakk]

I was in the same boat at 24, and up till I turned 28, it was the darkest period of my life, lost my apartment, went back home, lost my job and had it not been for my folks I wouldn't be alive. I am still recovering, I am still living with my folks and it eats away at me and makes me feel like I failed them and my younger siblings. Take things one step at a time and don't blame yourself when blind spots hit you.

[Sour-rose]

Just start walkin down a path. All you gotta do to keep it strong is move along, move along, move along. And even when your hope is gone, move along, move along, move along. <3

[jbobbio57]

Find refuge in God. start to pray , read the Bible and go to church. get involved with church. you have time and you'll meet great people and new friends.

[IJhonnyI]

Literally throw away all that brings you down and fill your head up with positive things and ideas that can make you healthy and wealthy

[LonelyTimes]

It is easier said than done, seeing all the shit I am dealing with

[IJhonnyI]

Look not too sound insensitive but we all are some more then other believe me I've been through it I'm not even gonna tell u what cause I don't need someone telling me what I've been through but listen it doesn't matter what u say easier said then done only person blocking you from achieving greatness is your self don't let that happen believe bro I'm surprised I'm still alive but I am I'm still moving a smile on my face easier said then done but I've done still doing it still struggling but you won't move unless you want too

[Anonymous]

Find the things u dislike about yourself and apologize to yourself for being unkind and unfair about those things. Gotta love yourself on the inside first. Change is freaky and comfort is comfortable. But is your comfort actually toxic?
Love yourself !!!

[exitseven]

Covid has screwed up a lot of people. Careers have been ruined and relationships have suffered. You have to get up and find a job. It is a job in itself.

[FilmGuy93]

Get some therapy and start some sort of hobby. It's really amazing what a hobby like guitar playing can do for you.

[Curiousnesshmmm]

Over half of them will be divorced in 10 years with kids and a job they dislike and another 25% will be in a miserable marriage. Only a small percent will still be in love with each other

[Anonymous]

Start with making money again. The rest will follow.

[OddBeMe]

Whats the disability?

[Jmmmfi4]

Boo hoo