Do you feel you have commitment issues?

Question

For me, once I’m in it, I’m in it . I’ll do everything in my power to keep us both happy. But shall I ever feel led to stray, I’ll have a deep conversation to try to fix it and if that doesn’t work, I’ll breakup right away. I need the person to truly be the best fit for me, otherwise I feel trapped. Thats why i like to get to know a guy for at least a month because if i can't stand him past that, I’m not going to even become official with him. We will need to go our separate ways. And that doesn’t mean its anything wrong with him. He’s just not for me. In fact, I am almost afraid to get married because i don’t want it to be the wrong guy. I’m not looking to just up and divorce and i certainly refuse to commit adultery. I just need the right one for me.  I don’t want to feel like a prisoner of love, especially the wrong kind of love.  2019-2022 has been my shortest set of unofficial relationships. I haven’t been able to stay with anyone past 3 months. It felt suffocating especially since some wouldn’t let go. My intentions were never to waste anyone elses time, bt I sure as hell won’t waste mine either. My motto is sadly “Be THAT guy or be nothing” 🤷‍♀️ I know its fcked up but they have the right to feel the same. If i can’t be the right one for them, let me be nothing as well #FeelFreeToList #AllOrNothing

Starlight007 · Accepted Answer

I wish us humans would stop being so hard on ourselves, we really aren't going to have everything we want, not all of us are going to be in successful relationships and that should be normalized. some of us were born to not be in a proper relationship and that's the cold hard truth,

We need to normalize being content with being alone if you are struggling to find a suitable partner, and we need to be grateful for the things we do have instead of focusing on the things we don't have. There is more to life than being in a relationship, we need to learn to make ourselves happy and not to depend on other people to make us happy because it's not other people's job to make you happy, its your own job to make you happy!.

Emiliamazing · Accepted Answer

I don’t have commitment issues and I don’t believe my husband does either. Well we don’t always see eye to eye on how to handle life‘s curveballs, we try to work through our inconsistencies. We try to learn from each other’s viewpoints. Sometimes being committed to another individual means learning to live with their idiosyncrasies, and loving them. The best relationships come from understanding and acceptance (as long as you are not accepting something that is harmful to you or other loved ones within your circle.)

Man-O-Metal · Accepted Answer

I like your mindset. For some reason, nowadays, I feel like people just don’t want to commit anymore because they are afraid to get in a situation where they experience emotional stress and have to start over again after healing from the hurt. I understand that getting your heart hurt sucks (it’s happened to me), but too many people end the relationship before they even find out if it would have worked or not. I’d rather feel hurt cuz me and my girl realized we weren’t right for each other, versus dumping her after I found out her first flaw and move on to the next girl.

Jamie05rhs · Accepted Answer

That's not commitment issues. Commitment issues is something else entirely. Those people can't commit to ANYone!

Finchie40 · Answer

You sound like me exactly , I am not going to commit to someone that can’t commit to me , there is no point of it , if someone can’t remove selfishness for me then I sure as hell can’t do that for them , if a issue occurs we fix it , if she cheats we end it , I do the same , not going to pretend I love someone if I can cheat on them , I answered my own question , that I truly don’t value them. If I can be open to someone else , Love to me is sacrificing and removing selfishness for each other , making each other a priority , if I am not her priority then she can’t be mine. Love only grows when 2 people remove selfishness for each other and sacrifice for each other and make each other a priority , it won’t always be perfect but compromising and communicating will keep us together if you both choose each other

IJhonnyI · Answer

I have horrible trust issues can't trust anyone (besides my family) literally I have a question on my profile about how I can't trust people but anyway back too this, literally can't trust No one i literally got this defense wall and commitment issues clearly circle around my trust issues so umm long story short yea I got commitment issues am I okay with it yea kinda cause I won't even attempt to get in a relationship but I know I could fall in love outbof no where but I've been on my own shit lately

ohshee · Answer

Not when it comes to a relation ship I dont think I do..

In every day life sometimes I do maybe
No commitment issues here I look forward to committing but I'm kind of going back asswards about it I have always found what I like and I have committed and I think I jump the gun I think I need to be a little bit more patient flirt with that person a little bit more for some reason when you flirt and you try to become one with somebody in so many different ways they show you who they are and I really like that because it will tell you if you are compatible if a commitment is worth it I mean there's all kinds of things to do have to work together but yeah that's what it is but I would love to commit I just have to find that right person all the way this time

Anonymous · Answer

I think so. I’m too scared to get committed bc I don’t want to mess things up only for me/the person to get hurt later on. I also don’t like the feeling of being “bound” by a commitment. I’m loyal but having a label just scares me. Buttt once I agree to commit, I would put my all into it and would try to make it work no matter what - I’d even sacrifice my own feelings to make the other person happy. I’m just super scared to take the initial jump bc I usually go all or nothing.

kellytheman · Answer

I sometimes do mostly in relationships. I am pretty reliable and if I am say I gonna do something I usually do it especially if I am made the commitment or a promise to do it. In relationships I just sometimes have commitment issues cause I don't know if we are moving to fast or is want I really want to be with. And also there is the financial part and families that gives me commitment issues

Adronicus · Answer

Yes, been working on them for a LONG time. I've even become an amateur psychologist in the attempt. Being the parent since 12 hasn't helped with nothing & nobody the whole way. I'm a firm believer that for someone to be able to love some one else unconditionally they have to learn to love themselves first. I've been alone & working on myself for 23 years but I don't know how much longer I can hold out for. I've invested a lot in myself inside & out & EVERYTHING seems to be changing / coming in to place. I'm a Venus in Cancer & we are well guarded when it comes to matters of the heart.

Loveisgirthy · Answer

I feel I'm a good commiter. Just need physical interactions way more often than I've gotten is my thesis. I've considered going all the way with someone just to be rid of my concerns with all things romantical fantasy. In the past my mind gets very distracted with those little "am I flirting right" things so much I feel mentally incapable to do anything more, brain just stops operating the same and it's always when I want to be the most creative, most spontaneous lover for someone and to a point I wouldn't care as much if we made it in the end or not but I'd put my all into our moments together and that kind of thing. That does excite me.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

No, if I like her enough to date her, I'm content, and I enjoy clingy, needy, hypersexual women who want attention and comfort all the time, so I'm not going to feel suffocated no matter how much of my time she wants.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Nah once I’m in a relationship I do everything I can to ensure it’s success unless the chick is just bad for me then I’ll cut her loose. but otherwise no.

irisaudreylee · Answer

For the longest I haven’t really considered myself committed to my current boyfriend because I initially dated him when there was a dull moment in my life. I was really just bored, so in the back of my mind I thought I’m probably going to dump this boy if he inconveniences me. Instead he’s been exceptionally useful; like driving me to work, cheering me up when I’m sad, or even occasionally doing my assignment that I procrastinated on. It’s mind boggling how even after he found out I did not have much but a physical attraction to him he was nether less insistent on staying together, ands that’s what made me want to commit to him eventually.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I have always taken pride in upholding my commitments. Especially in relationships. But every time I date, I find myself in less and less of a rush to be in that position. If you pick the wrong person, it can cost a lot and most people really aren't worthy of it.

TrillXHippy · Answer

Yeah I’m in till the end unless she gives me a reason to end it completely or if I do something that would make her end it completely

Harleigh90 · Answer

Not afraid of commitment, just shit at getting to the point of committing

Sparkie460 · Answer

It took 2 years of dating before my girlfriend ( now my wife) committed to each other. We were friends in the beginning but got closer as time went on.

Turtlewax1994 · Answer

I’d say more so fear of commitment, basically I fear of getting hurt Mine please?

Dontaaaa · Answer

Ever since my last relationship I've been pretty deadset on not being with anyone else.

However, I feel the fact that it shouldn't even be considered an issue.

As if the simple fact that you don't want to commit to someone is an "issue" is wrong in my opinion.

People only call that shit a commitment until you don't wanna be with them anymore, the word means nothing when things get challenging for most people it seems.

JSmuve · Answer

I'd say I do because I'm not the type of guy to be with a girl for the sake of being in a relationship or physical intimacy only to jump to another girl shortly after. It's disingenuous and feels wrong. I also don't want to feel trapped with a girl I'm not interested in, which was especially an issue when I was younger. I think if I met the right girl who checked off all the boxes, then I could commit, but there's far too many wrong girls who leave more boxes unchecked.

Alex8736 · Answer

It all comes down to getting to know the person 1st. Communication is a huge turn on. There maybe differences of opinions but everyone has a right to their own opinions. The main thing is teamwork and resolving issues where sometimes 2 heads are better than 1. If I feel the inner attraction along with the outer attraction then I'm All in 🥰🌹

ElvenMr · Answer

I feel the same way, that's why i have a hard time dating anyone. I don't want to hurt any feelings, not theirs, not mine.

Waldoe · Answer

I am ready to commit too easily, so YES... it's an issue

Do you feel you have commitment issues?

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