Have you ever been cheated on? If yes, how’d you find out?

Question

Did you break up with them? Or stayed together to have another chance?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Yes and that is my final straw to end it , No excuse for cheating , if someone can cheat on you they already answered their own question that they don’t love and value their partner , so right then and there they should end it , when a cheater tries to come back like nothing happened they are the biggest piece of shit on the planet , they are wasting their time pretending that they still love their partner when really they don’t and also they are wasting their partners time for stringing them along , if a cheater really loved their partner then they should love them enough to let them go find true love but most cheaters don’t do that because they are selfish, Selfishness is the biggest relationship killer , if you can’t remove selfishness for your partner then you don’t deserve a partner , just stay single , I busted my ex wife by gut instinct, I knew something was off , and I didn’t want to believe it but little did she know her cell phone was the device that helped me bust her , it helped me find her location at the hotel she was meeting her co worker and helped me find her conversations , i took pictures of them in the parking lot hugging and kissing i was going to beat his fucking ass but he ran like a little bitch and sped off on his car , I told her she is the biggest piece of shit on the planet and that all her stuff will be on the front lawn because she is not welcome in the house , I already had my attorney on stand by , I also called his wife and told her everything. One thing I learned is you always prepare yourself before confronting a cheater and trust your gut instinct , if a partner has to hide their phone from you they are a cheater , when a partner says you are insecure they are a cheater , Don’t be with someone that expects you to be honest with them but can’t be honest with you , Never be with someone that doesn’t prioritize you like you do to them , and never be a convenience to someone , if they can’t sit down with you and fix the problem with you then they don’t deserve you , let someone else have them because they are doing you a favor

Chris_7565 · Accepted Answer

Yes after being together for 15 years our relationship eventually started to weaken. We had different goals, poor communication, and we were spending more time apart than together.
I figured out she was cheating because she was coming home late. I grabbed her phone from her and looked at her messages. She freaked out and started trying to delete stuff. She started crying and asking if I was leaving her.
I did leave her and our son stayed with me most of the time.
3 months later she showed up at my place crying and wanting to talk. We ended up having sex and trying to get back together for the sake of our family.
It lasted about 2 weeks before I just couldn't bare to lay beside her at night anymore. I was disgusted by her betraying me and I knew she wasn't the same person I used to know. I just left in the middle of the night. She wanted me to love her again, but it just doesn't work that way. My love is a valuable thing that I don't just give to people who treat me like shit.

Literalbillionaire17 · Accepted Answer

I live in a sorta small city. This is an important detail lol.

We were hanging out at this fair in town and he sees someone he knows, a girl. So he rushes over to her and gives her a hug, when I get to them he introduces her as his sister. At this point we had been dating for about 3 months so I didn’t really know his family that well to confirm or deny. His father had a bunch of kids (I’m talking double digits) so I thought nothing of it.

So he introduced me to her and her to me and we’re hitting it off. So it’s getting late and I’m about ready to go, he tells me we’re leaving soon but he has to go grab something from his sisters car. Cool right?

So I wait for them at the entrance and after about 5 minutes or so some girl comes to me. She goes “Hey …. you must be …. girlfriend”. So I’m confused and asks her how she knows me and she tells me that my boyfriend at the time had told his family about me (mind you we never even met) and that I look like the girl in the picture he showed. So I asked who she was and she says she’s his sister. Again his father had a bunch of kids so I just assumed it was another one of his sisters and they all came to the same fair.

So I tell her that he went to go get something out of the other sisters car. So her and I wait around a bit (they are still not back) at this point it’s been about 20 minutes and her and I are just talking and getting to know each other. I really liked her.

So my Ex starts walking back with the girl and he has his jacket over her and everything but again I think nothing of it. His sister goes “who’s that girl?”. So I asked what did she mean since that was supposed to be their sister.

To shorten the story that girl that was his “sister” was actually his ex girlfriend. Apparently they had sex in her car while I was waiting for them to come back like a dumbass.

I broke up with him that night and now he has a 3 month old that his ex won’t let him see because he cheated on her too. I’m still friends with his actual sister.

thesuncomesup · Accepted Answer

Every relationship I have ever been in. Congratulations to me hahaha.

One way or another, the truth always comes out. I forgave the first more than the rest. Once you've been burnt too many times, you take less the next time.

Now waiting on the man God has for me!

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

She told me. It started off with her telling me she was going to go on a date with another guy. I could see she seemed conflicted so I told her nothing happened yet we couldn't get past. Then she told me they fucked already.

They lasted a week and then her life went real bad.

She thought telling me the truth would make it OK, and I tried to stay friends with her but after some stuff happened, I had to cut her off.

It was especially hard because I really hated to see how hard life was being to her and how badly she dealt with everything. Even if they hurt you, it's hard to see someone you care about go through the stuff she put herself through.

It made me colder as a person. And it made me realise how love is blind. Cuz I realised after the relationship that before we started dating and I only kinda knew her, I knew she was trouble. I knew something like this would happen, but somewhere along the way I totally threw all that out the window.

Now I don't even know if I want or am capable of that kind of love anymore. Not on some depressing shit. I just don't feel the longing for that anymore. Which is kinda scary to me.

I don't really look at women the same way anymore.

DaveJord · Answer

Well I was married for like 22 years to a women, that I tolerated for the children's shake for as long as I could. Bad idea... so I am not the jealous type and I suspected her of cheating like three different times... like I was pretty sure she was cheating but I honestly didn't care enough to want to know at that point. I mean we kept our sex life's with each other.

So how did I find out...

Well after we divorced my oldest daughter can to me and told me that when I was deployed to Iraq she moved a guy into the house and my 16 year old caught them having sex together in my bed.

Yeah terrible right? Like said I suspected her of being a cheater and I ignored it for my own sanity the women was a nut case... but apparently it really fucked up my daughter. My ex threatened and intimidated her into not telling me. Which really strained my relationships with the kids, because they all knew but me. Like said I always suspected her of being cheater, I never imagined that she would do something like that.

CubsterShura · Answer

Got cheated on twice by the same guy, I totally own the clownery here.

First time he got caught because the girl he was cheating on me with was friends with one of my friends, and that friend notified me when he started suspecting that the dude texting her lewd stuff if my boyfriend. I eventually end up finding screenshots that proved his disloyalty so I dumped him. However, I gave him a second chance later.

The second time, his behavior was changing and I couldn't put my finger around what seemed wrong, he seemed to act much more submissive and less assertive towards the end of the relationship. I was personally going through exam stress at that time so often I behaved very aggressively, I thought maybe because I'm so stressed out he's going easy on me. But no, we had a conversation one day which made it clear he was hiding something from me that I should know. I kept pushing him for several hours then he finally got the cat out of the bag that he had seggs with this friend he went to see once. I dumped him for good and never looked back.

Lucy68 · Answer

1st time I was 14 years old and my boyfriend at the time (he was 16 going on 17 and he was my first kiss as well) cheated on me with another boy and I ended the relationship then. But decided to give him another chance after he begged me to take him back 2 months after we broke up, and we only lasted for 4 weeks cause he ended up cheating on me not only with a different guy but 2 other girls.

2nd time I was 17 with my on again and off again boyfriend (he was 18 going on 19). He cheated on me with one of the sophomore girls in our school and silly me took him back. The final straw was he tried to assault me and that was it for the relationship and for our engagement.

3rd time was with my current ex who I was with for unfortunately 5 years. The relationship was not only abusive mentally, physically, emotionally, and sexually but he cheated on me so many times it got to the point I couldn't even trust him and I unfortunately became a little crazy whenever he went out. The final straw was he ended up getting another girl pregnant and that's when I left. Broke off the engagement, smashed my engagement ring with a hammer, and went to take a 2 week vacation. I know I was a complete idiot for taking him back every time he cheated on me and he has unfortunately had contact with me a few months after we broke up. Let's just say 1) I'm not going back to him and 2) I took out both restraining order and an order of protection that he unfortunately has violated

noless10in · Answer

I went my entire life 50 years so far swearing up and down with everything in me if a b**** ever cheated on me that would be the end of her and him and they would never be a chance in hell that she would ever get a second chance or possibly make it through the encounter alive. 3 years and 2 months ago my wife cheated on me after 19 years. I was completely blindsided by the whole thing she told me she was going to love me forever but wasn't in love with me anymore which were a guy is very confusing I just don't get it. But as I stood there and shock and disbelief the words that I expected to come out of my mouth of anger frustration violence cursing is not what happened at all. My mind calculated things so quickly and my only response was I will forgive you if you will just stop if you end it I will forgive you. But this I need you to understand I can forgive you a hundred times but I can only trust you once so from this point forward I am going to have to be treated with kid gloves for quite some time to build even a an inkling of trust and will never obtain the level of trust that I once had. And I realized at that point that I have been so hurt and jaded by the whole thing it didn't matter if I moved on to someone else or not I was never a jealous person in my life and now I am condemned to doubt the word of probably some one who is honest as the day is long. But my ability to trust has been crippled for the rest of my life.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

worst was James the cop.

he said he was busy on NYE 2017 for NY 2018. He was on duty guarding a witness.

I called him at 12am 2018 and some woman answered. I recognized her voice as his cop partner and heard some other woman in the back ground (the witness it turned out).

His partner said he was not available, but did not hang up. I heard sex sounds (oral) and my man moaning like he does when i gave him head and swallowed all his sperm.

then the bed rocking and squeaking.

finally a woman's voice saying "shit, you did not hang up"

i confronted him the next day.. he lied about it until i told him what i heard.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Yes, it went on for 3 months behind my back.

I had suspicions when my ex refused my offer to stay home from work to celebrate with him, and when I came home to balloons I hadn't bought for him.

I broke up with him that night.

Three months later, the (old married) woman he had cheated on me with texted me to confess everything as part of her healing with her husband.

My ex never told me, and he also never told his family or friends we broke up. His mother texted me happy birthday and his boss thought we were still together after 6 months apart.

He was an utter coward.

ShesQuiet · Answer

Yes...
I went to text that mf and I was like "gm babe, can I come over" and I got a reply saying "who is this" and I thought he was goofing around with me so I was like "its ur girlfriend silly" and the next message was like "um what? I'm Josh's girlfriend" n I was like homewrecker much but whatever so her n I deleted those chats so he couldn't see them the next time he wanted to text me and him and I were going on a date and I told her where and after he paid for dinner she came over and said "oh hey! how are you" and his face was priceless 😂

Espresso-Grande · Answer

Yes.

His mother told me. She rang me to tell me he was seeing someone behind my back from college. She said she told me because she believed I deserved better and I should know. She actually banned her from calling the house and told her he had a girlfriend.

I ended the relationship, but I didn't tell him what his mother said because I didn't want to come between them both.

A few weeks later she rang me to see how If I was ok. I pretended I was, but I was heartbroken. I saw them catching a bus together and saw them kissing as they sat down.

worldscolide · Answer

Twice, the first time I walked in on her riding some guy. I ordered them out at gun point. The second was someone I was going to marry, I recorded them going at it, and played it for her entire family and friends at our engagement party. Both women are single mothers with multiple kids by multiple dads, and on state assistance. Worthless. Before I married my wife, I politely informed her that if she ever cheated on me, she would be out in the street in a heart beat. Cheaters aren't human, they are without empathy, without a soul, and are not capable of loving anyone but them selves.

Guardian45 · Answer

Yes, I walked in on them in flagrante delicto. It was quite a scene. He was a friend. She fled.

Another friend stopped me from killing him. I went on a 3 day drunk, destroying furniture. He disappeared never to be seen again. She was afraid of me, but came back after I forgave her and begged her to return.

Fast forward, we dated for 3 years, then I broke up with her, but we have remained friends to this day. About 25 years; she's happily married; I'm single. It took LOTS of therapy to get over her.

NZGirl07 · Answer

Yes unfortunately. When I was 14 I had a toxic boyfriend. He went away to a competition in another city and was cuddling and being romantic with another girl. People from our school were there and saw, they messaged my best friend who told me. I gave him another chance being young and dumb. Later, I found him messaging his girl best friend he knew since he was little saying part of him wanted to be with her instead. I was young and naive so he was actually the one who broke it off with me. I'd never let a man treat me like that again.

petitedollbabee · Answer

My ex. He snuck out of our flat at 4am and came back at 7am stinking of sweat and another woman’s perfume. I asked him about it the next morning and he made excuses starting with he didn’t see anyone, he went for a walk, and then he said he met up with a friend and hung out, so I asked him why he stunk of another woman’s perfume. He said he hugged her. I said why are you so sweaty then. He said he did a lot of walking with her. I said to him did you use protection? He said yes. I said if it was just a hug then you wouldn’t use protection. So I called him out on it. We stayed together because I figured he’d slipped up and wouldn’t do it again. 6 months later he did it again with the same woman, I found out because he left his phone open when he went to the bathroom and she texted him saying she had a great night with him and couldn’t wait to do it again. I stopped loving him at that point and we broke up a few months later when our lease ended on where we were living.

ethanallen · Answer

I dated a woman who lived 30 miles away. One day, I had a meeting near her house so i stopped by unannounced and found her fucking some guy. I broke up with her on the spot. There used to be a web site called "Report Your Ex." I wrote a truthful but disparaging account of my ex girlfriend; prior arrests, psychiatric involuntary holds, bipolar disorder, PhD History but never found a job, trust fund baby , deceased grandfather was a chicago mobster (literally... she admitted this). She had to pay money to get it taken down and have the internet erased. I felt good about it. First amendment lives in a rough neighborhood.

Tiffany27 · Answer

Every single relationship ever. I usually find out by seeing a message from another woman, finding evidence (pics, etc) or seeing them out with another woman. They always say the same thing that I mean so much to them and we have a very special relationship but they don’t want anything serious. Though they always tell me before that I’m the only one. My problem is they could of just been honest to begin with and told me they were dating someone else. They act like it’s no big deal

hellomellow7 · Answer

Yes. He ghosted me on Christmas. And then he came back and told me what he did and that he realized he had made a mistake but took so long to figure out how to talk to me because he knew he had hurt me pretty badly. And we’re attempting at another chance.. fingers crossed 🤞

DiegoO · Answer

In my LD relation, my ex cheated on me; in revench because I cheated on her. I didn't say much, other than telling her how I thought she wasn't gonna fall for that like how I did. From there on I realize how damaged the relation was. I did everything possible to be with her in person (without leaving my self out: college). Years passed and I know it wasn't gonna get easier for both.

I decided to stay single and she decided to go further with another LDR she had. According to her they broke up—even though they met in person.

LoserTimesThree · Answer

I dated this guy for about a year and a half, almost two years. Then I found out that he was cheating on me with one of my so-called "friends". One of my close guy friends at the time found out because the friend that cheated was his sister. I never really confronted them, because I was a really shy person and couldn't handle it so I just said that I needed space and never talked to him again.

GingerGuy · Answer

In high school, we were outside the school, and from a distance to my surprise I watched my girlfriend at the time making out hot and heavy with another guy. Confronted her on it later and didn't deny it or apologize. I guess it was her way of breaking up with me? lol.

DudeDiligence · Answer

Yes twice. With one a coworker of hers, who was a mutual friend, tipped me off. With the other I just happened to run into them together at the beach and they were all over each other. She eventually confessed to everything because she was not a convincing liar and she knew it. And yes I broke up with both of them.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Caught my ex-wife with the landlord.
He was backing into the closet pulling up his pants, and you can figure it out with the ex part.
I also had an ex girlfriend who was cheating, and I left.
She wanted to come back, I thought about it, but I was seeing someone else at the time, so I passed.

Redhead999 · Answer

Dumped him. Life is too short. Cheaters always cheat again.

RandomAnonPerson132 · Answer

He cheated on me a lot over text, was constantly either role playing with people or leaving really gross graphic comments on girls photos
I stayed for a year after I found out, it slowed down a bit but it ended up driving me insane. Broke up with him 3 years ago now, it still fucks with me pretty bad, I wish I did sooner 😌

erandal · Answer

Yes. They confessed to me about it. I feel that they were genuinely sorry and there has not been a repeat or any thought of a repeat.

Adronicus · Answer

Not that I know of & I'm a VERY observant person. I've actually had the opposite problem where they keep chasing after a break. One told me I was the one she compared others to, I took that as a great compliment. Projection is very common from what I observed, if your partner keeps accusing you & you never did more than likely they are the ones cheating.

katiesmuff · Answer

Walking in on him with his penis inside the wrong pussy!

KimRobert · Answer

I had every reason to break up at that point, but something kept holding me back even when I try to break up with him… though I had known for a long time that he’s a womanizer…

aquamarine321 · Answer

I wouldn’t say I was cheated on, but I was the side man, and I didn’t know until some weeks or months after she told me, even tho there where signs I didn’t pay attention to it

sage2021 · Answer

I feel like the question should have been "Is there anyone that hasn't been cheated on?".

backdoorman · Answer

I was cheated on by my ex for almost two years. I found out when she proudly told me during a drunken argument. She's married to the guy now.

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

A friend of hers sold her out. I was already beginning to suspect. Worse: she was closet bi! A manipulator of one of the worst varieties. I cut ties with that woman quickly after that. Narrowly avoided being tied to a wannabe Amber Turd.

HarikoNezu · Answer

Surprisingly I guessed their MySpace password and saw all of his messages. They were gross messages. I also asked someone if they knew we were dating and he told everyone we were just friends. Even though I was with him everyday.

I was young though. I just found out he married his first cousin. They both have the same last name, lol.

SiberFox · Answer

This is a sad thread, I hope everyone got someone worth them after all these betrayals.

Valso · Answer

She told me she made out with another guy. Back then I didn't know that such a confession meant she was hoping I'd dump her, so I let it go.

nisnaia · Answer

Yea lol she was messaging with my friend and kept telling me she didn't like him. Stayed with her too long. She did some bad stuff when she moved out but can't say that in public. Found out from him.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Yes. The little mini-bitch flat out told me!! No way am I getting back with her!! She already proved to me several times that I could no longer trust her!!

exitseven · Answer

She went to a bar that she knew I would be at. She came with her new boyfriend and sat in a booth with him. That is how I found out I was being dumped.

athlete_7 · Answer

Not cheated but dumped before i came to know she was double dating my own pal

vald9inches · Answer

She told me and no longer wanted to be with me it hurt but it really opened up my eyes and i forgive her now and understand that everyone is just trying to be happy and live the happy life they want! ❤️❤️❤️

Sambo26 · Answer

Every girl I've been with has cheated on me. I found out by my landlord telling me cars at the house when i was working nightshift.

LindsayR07 · Answer

One time they told me (was with 3 people) One time their roommate (my former roommate) told meOne time I caught her mid-act (coitus interruptus)

SaartjieJane · Answer

Yes, I just had a gut feeling and messaged a girl that I thought it was and I was right

Andres77 · Answer

My first wife cheated on me. I didn't handle it well. I divorced her a few months later. Then a girlfriend cheated on me, I caught her too. Also, unconventional way to deal with it.

jengeorge26 · Answer

No because I make my boyfriend wear a chastity cage on his penis

IsoUser · Answer

As it turns out I personally poured everything thing Into my buiseness. An apparently that was a mistake, All I tried to do was secure future for wife and my kids future. So If that's wrong I still not sorry. So get over it,

driven159 · Answer

If someone cheats on you then you are not number 1 in their life, so I am not number 2 in anyone's life if they are willing to throw your relationship away by cheating then the relationship is not worth the time to save it say bye bye now

SplatKatieSims · Answer

Yes , I have been cheated on more than once with guys that did have a relationship with. Caught them all.

brezzybaby · Answer

Yes and I have been the one who cheated also. And I found out cause I ain't stupid

loveslongnails · Answer

A friend of her's told me. I think maybe the friend wanted to sleep with me, so she thought it would work in her favor. Eventually, it did.

Hairylegs222 · Answer

I've never been cheated on and I will never cheat. There's simple common sense loyalty tests to pay attention to when it comes to dating.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

no i dont think so. not that any body is perfect but i tend to spend my time with people with character

dudeinohio · Answer

I suspected so I put a voice operated tape recorder under the bed. Caught her and dumped her immediately.

globetrotter22 · Answer

I deduced it but never got it confirmed. It was how she was talking to me and her paranoia.

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

Dude was cheating on me with a 14 year old and I found out because I saw pictures. Definitely dumped him over it 🤮

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Yes. A friend told me she was seeing someone else. In the years since I learned she cheated on me multiple times.

collie22 · Answer

i could see the way they looked at each other i had a feeling so i had asked. Thats when i found out and that was it for me

Oldschool1981 · Answer

I dated a woman for 14 year and from years 7 through 10 she had a side guy. I didn't find out all at once but more on a gradual basis. My SO didn't really tried to hide it but at the end of the day, I was okay with it.

dolemite89 · Answer

ya i just heard it through the grapevine that people saw her with someone else i really wasn’t super into her anyways so then i just broke up with her.

Slim57 · Answer

I have. I hate to admit but I went through their phone, it's not something I do and consulted with a friend about how she was acting and he agreed it was weird so I had to know

donkeyhehe · Answer

I noticed that she was getting more distance not as responsive unless I had a present or took her to dinner

Have you ever been cheated on? If yes, how’d you find out?

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Have you been cheated on before? And if so, how did things go?

Have you ever been cheated on? If yes, how’d you find out?

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