I was 16 at the time, and I had a huge crush on my best friend. By the end of our friendship (when I was 21, nearly 10 years ago) I was completely in love with him.
When we were 16 years old, he confessed that he had feelings for me, but I was terrified of losing our friendship and I didn’t say anything back. He was obviously hurt, but quickly got a girlfriend and they dated for 5 years. I didn’t want to interfere with their relationship, but him telling me that he had feelings for me planted a seed in my head and I was falling in love with him more and more. Our friendship ended because I couldn’t control my jealousy when he would go out with others and I was very very jealous of his girlfriend. I didn’t tell him that was the reason, I literally just moved halfway across the country like a crazy person and stopped talking to him.
It’s been 10 years since we’ve talked, and I have never gotten over not taking the opportunity to be with him. It’s eaten me up inside for so long. I’ve had relationships, but I always compare them to him.
How do I move on finally and stop living in the past, with this anger towards myself?
also, kids, this is a lesson to never let things pass you by.
