How to help someone who is brainwashed?

[sassygirl13]

I met one of my cousins recently after many attempts and she is no longer the same person. Her husband convinced her thar women are good only to have kids and rise them.
She no longer meets anyone from family or goes out beyond groceries. She is staying at home with kids all year long.

He even sent her away with the kids to live near his family in our home country while he is still in USA. (She is USA citizen)

She is asking that nobody interfere but her judgment is not stable from what I have seen.

Can anything legally be done? Meanwhile what can I do to support her?

[kylee2437]

There’s nothing that can be done. The only way she will leave the relationship is when she realizes that the relationship isn’t worth her time. That is on her to realize. With that being said - you should try to butt out and stop trying to think you are going to be the hero to this situation

[sassygirl13]

Not trying to be a hero. She is more of a sister than a cousin and it hurts to see her like this.

[kylee2437]

@sassygirl13 I get where you are coming from, but as an abuse survivor myself, there was not one thing anyone could tell me to get out when I wasn’t looking to get out. Being abused is like an addiction.

[sassygirl13]

I'm sorry to hear it. How did you get out?

[kylee2437]

All good! Getting out was a blessing. My abusive ex initiated a break up, but he didn’t fully break up with me because he was too selfish to lose me completely, but I caught him being dishonest when it came to the religion he had me practicing (cult vibes by the way) and also caught him possibly cheating and then gaslighting me about it so I left him completely. The only way to leave a situation like this is by having standards for yourself and realizing that this relationship isn’t worth losing your dignity. Unfortunately most people that endure abuse lack standards, boundaries and stay in situations like that because they are too comfortable for change that can better their lives.

[sassygirl13]

I'm glad that you managed to get out.

The more someone stays the harder to get out. Add kids and it's gets very complicated.

[kylee2437]

@sassygirl13 yes! I’m happy I didn’t have kids with him because honestly as much as he said he didn’t want kids, he sure seemed like he was trying to trap me with one. Would finish inside me and everything and never used protection ever. I think being married definitely makes it worse also because it makes you feel like you need to work out issues that are most likely not solvable

[Chazmatazz269]

How do you know she’s brainwashed? He’s not even physically present to “control” the situation and she isn’t resisting. Might you be overlooking the possibility that taking care of her children is HER priority as well? There’s nothing wrong with that. And nothing you’ve suggested so far is evidence of something nefarious.

[sassygirl13]

She was one of the most social person person I know. Now she is not allowed to have her own family into the house but allowed to see them once a year and briefly for 2 hours outside the house.
The list is endless. The question is how to help her

[Guardian45]

Her husband is a textbook manipulator and abuser. Sooner or later he's going to kill her.

[In_Trance]

nothing. There's nothing you can do