How can I convince my girlfriend that her weight isn’t a problem?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend of two years is quite self conscious about her weight. She complains that she is fat and should lose weight. And to be fair she is overweight, but I don’t think this is an issue. She is healthy and her body is very hot. But no matter how what I say, she still feels bad about her body. What could I do to change that?

[AmandaYVR]

There's not much you can do but be generally supportive and shrug off her doubts. It's mostly up to her to sort out. After a while, or many times of this coming up, you might want to just dismiss it and not entertain talking about it anymore. (Does she bring it up?) Act like it's a non-issue. You've probably already said all the encouraging words, so what else is there left to say, but repeating them ad infinitum?

Tell her to not spend so much time on social media, looking at other girls' beauty. It's probably a large cause. But girls have always compared. She needs to see her value as something more than just her external. When she learns to appreciate what her other assets are, she won't place so much important on it. Try distraction, actually. Change the topic, engage her mind.

[Emiliamazing]

You must be her biggest fan. That means supporting her ideas and goals.

[GlassTop]

Why would you want your girlfriend to be content being overweight? She knows she’s overweight and she wants to fix it but you are essentially saying it’s ok to be fat…stop telling her it’s ok. She wants you to motivate her to workout and lose weight. She wants you to help her better herself. Get her a gym membership or start working out with her. Instead of trying to make her comfortable being overweight, start buying her workout clothes and tools, yoga mats, and things to help her schedule to be healthy. Help her change her diet. She will be exponentially more happy to lose weight than staying the same weight. Stop trying to get her to accept being overweight. It’s never good to be overweight and it’s best to immediately diet and workout.

[young_OG96]

My friend, it’s simple, work out together, be the person 30 years from now today, and staying fit and looking fit has more benefits than knowing you’re not fit and being told comforting lies. I get as men we have to tell comforting lies to our significant others sometimes but not when it comes to health

[Avicenna]

If she wants to lose weight, you should be supportive rather than trying to convince her not to. I

[Asker]

But it’s making making her feel bad. I’m just trying to avoid her pain and stress.

[Emiliamazing]

This really is good advice as well. If she’s serious about wanting to get more fit than she already is, support that thought train.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but we tend to be stubborn like that.

[Guy13]

Women and their weight is a test…

[Asker]

In what way?

[Guy13]

You don’t mention it. You plan activities rather than bars and dinners. Your dates are paddle boating etc…I have lots that. I do…. This make sense to you ⁉️

[Guy13]

Makes sense?

[Emiliamazing]

Always such good advice. I hope he reads this

[Guy13]

@Emiliamazing Thank you... you're so very kind ! Actions matter to a woman... emotional safety, I think?

[Emiliamazing]

I can’t quite wrap my head around what emotional safety means in the situation, but planning an event rather than caloric intake in a highly public place is a great turn in the right direction.
Physical activity with a loved one does so much good for the relationship and energy between a couple. With each child that was born, we have three, it was more of a challenge to lose the weight each time. But we kept at it and even though I’m not as thin and toned as our wedding day, my cardio fitness level is better. That is something I’m proud of. If this gentleman can steer his girlfriend in that direction, it will do her physical and emotional good and strengthen their bond.

[Guy13]

@Emiliamazing He knows I have weight issues. He's solving it and building up our relationship on multiple levels... if he only made me laugh-he would be perfect ;-)

[Emiliamazing]

I think I catch your drift. He is still so young and I assume she is as well. This could be a really good chance for them to work together and bond.

[Guy13]

@Emiliamazing kinda like I think we are, you mean ;-)

[mr4435669]

Take advantage of it.

[Asker]

What?

[mr4435669]

When my girlfriend has an insecurity, I make her feel more insecure on purpose, it's emotional manipulation.

[Asker]

Manipulation isn’t exactly a sign of a healthy relationship.

[landingout2]

yes make her lose weight

[Asker]

Why? She is still attractive and healthy.