I don’t have an issue with my girlfriend being fat. Actually, I have a fat girl fetish. Every time I see a fat girl with giant boobs my hormones spike out of control. Which is the exact reason I started dating my girlfriend in the first place.
Within the last year her she’s just gained too much weight. Like way TOO MUCH!!! She’s 5”4” and 300 pounds, and her knees are constantly hurting because she’s too heavy. I usually don’t like talking to my girlfriends about their weight but I can’t be silent about this situation.
I used to be a paramedic, I’ve seen so many people her size instantly dead from heart attacks. Her own father died from a heart attack from being over weight.
I tried multiple times talking to her about her weight. I’ve tried to work with her and come up with a fitness & diet plan for her. Every time I try she argues with me and makes up dumb excuses. She says “I enjoy eating food, and I don’t have energy to work out”. Last night, I had to talk to her more serious than usual out of concern because I’m really worried. She yelled at me and hung up.
I’ve explained to her that I’m still very attracted to her and that I have lots of fun with her body in the bedroom. And that I’m only wanting her to loose weight because I want her to live, but. No matter how I try to convince her, she’ll just fight back and break down crying. What do I do? Do I just sit here and let her eat herself to death?
Yes! I’m an asshole
No! I’m perfectly right
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Am I wrong for telling my obese girlfriend to loose weight?
No it is perfectly normal you are telling her your issues, especially if she is having a hard time walking. My suggestion is do not help her get anything. Don't go grab her anything, don't make her food or bring her food. Make her have to do everything herself because if not, you are just enabling her. Do not pay for junk food, only buy healthy stuff. If you want to eat junk food eat it while you are out lol. You could suggest going out more so she has to be active. If you do all that and she continues to get worse, all I can say is it is probably time to move on because it is essentially an addiction and only she can chose to change it.
yes, it's wrong because it is not weight that is her problem but her mental state and probably also something on a physical level.
you try to solve the effect, not the problem...
so, probably start by asking her how she feels, if she has problems or worries, and if she wants to talk to you. Don't try to solve her problems. She can do it by herself, but having someone who will listen is very important. Try to assess her situation. Does she need help from a psychologist/psychiatrist? If yes, try to help her with it. Tell her it will help, and she should try to talk to the specialist. DON'T TALK ABOUT HER WEIGHT.
try also introduce an idea of health check... diabetes II, liver and other organs... Having a complete picture will provide the next steps, and sooner or later, losing weight will be one of them.
Well, you've been courting this idea of her being overweight, getting sexual gratification from her essentially being unhealthy. You should know as a medical professional, that being overweight is not healthy in general.
@islathewitch has given the best advice about it being an emotional issue. Probably stemming from childhood trauma etc.
But ultimately you can't force people to change if they're on a destructive path. You have to decide whether you want to stay with them. For me personally, I would not.
You should try to get her to log her food so that she can get an idea of how much she's eating. Logging food will also make it easier to see exactly how many calories to remove. In her case, she doesn't even need to workout to lose weight. All she has to do is eat more dense, low calorie, balanced glycemic load foods & she'll probably find that she'll be needing less & less calories to be just as satiated.
Navigating the waters of a loved one's health can be as tricky as trying to dance a tango on a tightrope, but it's clear your heart's in the right place. You're not just a concerned boyfriend; you're essentially donning your superhero cape, trying to save her from potential health risks. But remember, love, when it comes to changing for healthier habits, the motivation needs to come from within.
Your approach seems to mix love with concern, a powerful combo, but it's like trying to plant a garden in rocky soil. Maybe it's time to change tactics? Instead of focusing on what she should lose, perhaps focus on what she (and, hey, both of you!) could gain—more energy, enjoyable activities together, and creating beautiful memories. How about framing it as embarking on a health journey together rather than a project to fix something?
It's tough, but sometimes, love means being there even when your efforts seem to be hitting a brick wall. Keep voicing your concerns, but maybe through the lens of dreams you'd love to achieve together, emphasizing health over appearance. And remember, support is key! If possible, professional guidance from a nutritionist or therapist might just be the magical missing ingredient.
This situation surely weighs heavy on your heart, pun intended, but keep steering the ship with love and patience. Your heart (and hers!) will thank you for it. 😉
Well, if she doesn't listen to you, she is the one who is going to be very sick with diabetics and so many diseases. The chances of being pregnant also be very low too. eating food may be enjoyable but at the same time she must understand the diseases she will get very soon. i am telling you because I know a woman who was very fat and she is around 200 pounds. she couldn't get pregnant due to her weight and she was getting leg pain as well. so she started to go for a diet plan and now she is around 150 pounds.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
If it comes from the heart rather than selfishness, you've a right in a relationship to try to help her. Over weight can be tied to all sorts of emotional baggage. Maybe she needs therapy before she can accept and hear your messaging. A few extra pounds can be cute and does wonders for their chest but seriously overweight is a health issue as you know. But you're going to need to tread very carefully and ensure you have her trust and goodwill. It's something maybe you can do together and make it a background task.
It's not okay for you to tell her what to do, but to make suggestions is fine if it's done in a loving manner. But keep in mind that not everyone shares your views. For some of us, death will be such a relief that doing things that will delay that won't make sense to us.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I mean how mobile is she? That is a lot of weight on small frame and you could help by not buying her the food and eating the same things as her so that you’re in it together. However it is probably more of a psychological issue and she would benefit from therapy.
Well you can’t tell her that she’s basically more than double the weight she should be at , all you can do is suggest healthy foods that don’t have much calories or fat, it’s a psychological thing for her and an addiction for food. That’s why she was like that before meeting her, if you like fat women you’re always going to have this problem because they will always be unhealthy with a short life span. Only she can make that decision
I remember this question almost word for word about 2 years ago.. I think you may as well give up because all you're doing is upsetting her, which is probably causing her to eat more.. A catch 22 if you will!
It's not wrong to care for your girl's health and safety. You just have to be clear in stating this when you speak to her about it.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Just do it yourself. You're trying verbal suggestions and they aren't working. Just stop talking about it and do it yourself. Eat more healthy and exercise. She'll be forced to think about these things because they are right in front of her.
First, why are you with a fat broad? Second, if you don't hurt her feelings, politely telling her that her future health likely depends on her shedding some pounds is the sign of a concerned boyfriend.
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