Sometimes we can say things we don't mean if we talk out of anger or if we are upset about something. Maybe your wife choosing sleep was her way of processing what you said and her way of not saying anything she will regret or might hurt you. It doesn't mean she wasn't listening and she wasn't caring about your feelings maybe she just genuinely knew if she has a conversation out of anger if she was anger she might have said things she didn't mean.
Onto you. If your wife has cheated on you and this is something that plays heavy on your mind, it might be best for you and your wife to do marriage counselling
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Things can be misinterpreted over text. I think you should have this kind of conversation in person since it is deep.
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