One-time hookup casual sex dating kind of grosses me out, to be perfectly honest. You're just bodies, at that point. Why would anyone want to fuck someone once, and never see them again. If you like them enough to sleep with them, you don't like anything else about them to have conversation, spend time, do activities with? (This is rhetorical.)
I've never been about that. I'd much, much, rather get to know people, one on one. People are infinitely more interesting when you go beneath the surface. A carousel of ***** (and whatever the male equivalent is) is pretty ewww to me. I have later found out that a guy was sleeping with others, but they almost never tell you this at the time. They know many of us would walk away immediately if we knew that. You thought you were working toward something with them, maybe, but they were just playing roulette, again and again. Might as well call that Russian roulette, with the amount of antibiotic-resistant STDs there are now in the world. (Condoms don't protect completely.) And now add to that, monkeypox.
I personally choose committed relationships over casual ones. Relationships are more than sex. It is about companionship and being able to experience life together. I don't think you can have that within a casual relationship. Having a significant other you can get along with can really add to your life. The experience is so much different when you spend time with someone you're committed to (and she as well of course) than when you are either single or spending time with friends.
In the end, it really comes down to you personally. Many people don't want to put in the effort to maintain a relationship. While others do prefer to build something with another person. Knowing you that once you get home you will be showered with love and care, nothing beats that. And when it comes to the sex, you can have that with someone you're committed to.
And to be frank, I think people who choose casual relationships to be quite weak mentally. As they are too scared of possible outcomes when going for a committed relationship for them to want to avoid responsibility, and cannot control their urges for them not to jump ship whenever it pleases them.
u better for you? better for me? better for others?
I think that's a very personal decision... and I think the worst idea would be to have others to make the decision for you, or to let them influence your own decision based on their own experiences rather than your own experience and also your own interests
but maybe you meant to ask as well about how others have gone about it and on that, well... I am just not into the many efforts that require to be a casual sexual partner with promiscuous people (especially the topics of STD's) so is not my thing, don't need it, don't seek for it... I would not know what to offer on how to make them work better but I am sure many other make them work best for them somehow
maybe you can give it a break too... or just keep trying different ways to try to find a relationship, rather than trying to find different than a relationship that so far has been your "style"
23 is very young... what's the rush? lol
It depends on where you are in life.
I would almost argue it takes more skill/maturity to be in a healthy casual relationship than a committed relationship.
There are definitely things you take for granted in a committed relationship, and you fall into patterns and you start knowing what you'll be doing weeks on end. In a committed relationship, explaining your relationship is easy, you can also avoid a lot of jealousy because there isn't the possibilty of other people/connections in the mix. Many people have a natural desire to make a committed relationship work, even it's a painful denial of compatibility or values.
I think a successful casual relationship is difficult to maintain for any duration of time and it takes a lot of maturity to both reassure your partner, while also maintaining boundaries where both parties maintain much more independence than a committed relationship.
Humans for the most part will always yearn for some sort of relationship. There are exceptions, particularly when the individual has has their trust betrayed, but overall the desire remains, if dormant.
Opinion
14Opinion
Well for me a committed relationship is an end goal, and I realized that maybe the best way to get there is actually a casual relationship. I don't do casual just to hookup knowing that it's gonna end eventually, but I might do casual just to get to know the person and see if we are compatible in doing a life together.
For example, my boyfriend and I made it official after second date, and now I regret it. It was too soon. No matter how much I was attracted to him and he wanted all, we forgot that we are in fact just strangers to each other still. How can you commit and trust if you haven't even spent enough time together and experienced stuff that motivates you to trust and commit? Do I really want to change my life completely and devote my time, energy, loyalty and reject every possible opportunity that arises for a man that I just met and have lust for and is willing to be with me? If you think about it it's really stupid, right? Trust is EARNED. Love is built, it takes time. Do you make best friends from the moment you meet a person? Ofc not, things happen that make you develop certain opinions and feelings about people. It's same with romantic relationship. Even though chemistry and lust can be there from the start, it is not a healthy or valid foundation to jump into a relationship. The problem is that when people want a relationship, they have certain things they wish to experience from it and think that this person will by default give them that because they also want a relationship. They might even agree to everything the other person wants making it like they are compatible, but they forget that it's their infatuation talking, not really their personality.
I’m currently in a committed relationship. Almost two years ago her and I met during the pandemic.
This is my first REAL relationship where we are open, honest, and respectful towards each other and care about each other more than anyone on this earth. It’s totally different than any other relationship that I’ve ever been in. It’s about being comfortable with them conquering your barriers while being aware of your own boundaries.
This kind of relationship isn’t for everyone and takes so much patience and trust. To me it’s absolutely worth it.
I think it really depends where you currently stand in life. I think it's very healthy to not always want a relationship during every phase of your life. If you feel like you can only be happy when in a committed relationship, you will never be happy, even when you are in one. And being single doesn't have to mean you don't date.
The best advice I can give you from my personal experience, is to let things just happen. If you're explicitly searching for something serious, it either won't happen or it will be you're starting the relationship with an unhealthy motivation. If you feel like going out on dates, do so. If you meet someone you get along with and feel attracted to, keep dating them. Not with the intention of eventually ending up in a relationship, but just with the intention of enjoying each other's company, having good sex, and so on. As long as both are on the same page, it will be a good thing.
i know myself and im committed relationship person, however being casual can appeal at times it is not realistic for me as I always want more cause in order to have sex with a guy i need to like him and if i like him i want more...
I dont think people are more casual, i just think its more trendy and free than before. But you need to be true to ysf and who you are
If you want to build trust and a long-term commitment, a serious relationship is what you should be pursuing. Getting into casual relationships will send the wrong message and to the wrong crowd.
I, personally want a serious committed relationship. I don’t mind what others are doing with their lives. Different things work for different people, so I wouldn’t judge someone who’s having a lot of casual sex
I prefer committed over casual. Casual just seems like a waste of time to give your time, energy, attention to someone who has no intentions of sticking around. It can get exhausted expressing yourself to someone only for them to eventually leave in short period of time. If commitment is what you want, then you definitely should avoid girls only wanting casual relationships.
It’s always better to be in a committed relationship but sometimes you just gotta chill out and maybe do some casual especially if you’re feeling bored alone. Sometimes serious relationships are too serious, and at our age we don’t wanna be so serious all the time. Try something new!
Honestly I don't know at this point I feel now days both suck! I rather be single. Casual sucks for me because I get feelings no matter what and get hurt even if I tell myself don't get attached. Committed Relationship sucks with my current boyfriend because he isn't putting me as his number 1 and its so frustrating. Like I rather just be alone and fuck myself im more happier that way
"However this year it seems like the girls I meet would rather hook up and be casual than go on multiple dates and build a relationship."
Don't waste your time on those chicks. They're trash.
... I mean, unless that's what you really want. But I don't think that's what you really want long-term.
I think it really just depends on the person- I personally would rather have a long committed relationship but I get why others wouldn’t. As long as both parties are clear about their thoughts beforehand
Um committed relationship all the way sir 🙋♀️
If u feel lonely please dont rush it.. it will come to u at time, just trust the time..
But again, if u really want casual, at least do it with someone when u feel the connection, not just lust
It isn't about what's better, it's about what is right for you at this point in your life. If you want serious, go serious :) you may disappoint yourself if you settle for casual and end up wanting more.
I have done both. I think each has its place at certain times. Just do not mislead another with false promises. I have had times that I approached a woman as a casual relationship and really grew fond of her. Sometimes, I was able to convert the casual into a committed relationship. Sometimes, the woman just wanted to have casual relationships and my telling her I felt more about her just made her uncomfortable.
In relationships there is nothing like try. It is either casual or fully committed... nothing in-between. NEVER avoid casual relationships - you've got to start from somewhere. Once you choose COMMITMENT, always respect and honor that.
"Would you judge someone if you knew they were having lots of casual sex?"
It's not about judging anyone, it's about acting accordingly that information.
The only kind of relationship that I'm personally willing to have with such people, is "friends with benefits" or something in that category. But... that's me.
I want to date around for a bit. I don't mean ho around, I just mean date different people to see who I actually get along with as a long term partner. I've missed out on that experience and always feel resentful.
I think that’s a decision that will have a different answer from every individual. A steady relationship will forward you some companionship that you may be seeking. Getting around gives you a lot more freedom. For most people that decision is based on previous relationships and hardships (or not).
if you having a hard time finding someone who wants a committed relationship, perhaps going on casual dates is the way to go, just be safe.
choose whatever works for you and the person you're dating. all people have different needs and mindsets for relationships
Try for the committed relationship! Although you have to be patient and understand that your partner might need to take his/her time to come around to the idea.
If you’re looking for something serious and long lasting definitely go for a committed relationship. If you’re just looking to have some fun then go for something more casual.
You can also add your opinion below!
